The Apocalypse
Every year an Ainu is tasked with the job of the Event reboot messages, often panicking in a mad scramble the last minutes before reboot to craft them into a fun conclusion of the Event. We strive to incorporate all the silly and notable events that occur during our annual celebration, and we appreciate it when mortals submit ideas for reboot messages to help us cover all angles of the Event.
As a fun fact, prior years' reboot messages are all archived in a tent at the Event. Check them out next year to reminisce!
This year's reboot messages are recapped below:
The noise from the Event crowd finally lulls to a dull roar.
Rian whacks Vingilote with his rattail. Rats fly from the deck!
Abandoned voodoo dolls shaped as Esker litter the Event grounds.
Swimming in sweat, Matthew and Gutrot call upon Valinor in panic!
The buttons were just... there! Reboot wasn't their fault!
Luthien and Smaug clink wine glasses in Valinor with mischievous grins.
A cry is heard from the Event fairgrounds. The BEER is GONE!
The cheese booth gets a new last-minute shipment of cheese in.
Bregol squishes an Ungoliant spawn before it sneaks into some swiss!
Naaman sails from T2T2, warning of Bruce, the immortal orc.
Halen grinds at The Gauntlet, unaware of the bugs that lurk.
Vildoran crushes Bruce in a heartbeat, rescuing the PTR!
In Vild's Arena2, Kieran dies four times at once against two wizards.
Kurak gives in to Vaeril, Eladan, Leka, Montog, and Pitcher's group hug.
Now soothed, Kurak the Renegade Ranger apprentices in making wax statues.
Elizabeth asks: It answers riddles but cannot speak. Walks but cannot run.
Sere raises a skeptical eyebrow and answers, "What is a small green toad?"
As the toad croaks in confirmation, Elizabeth declares Sere the top riddler!
Corbin, in Willowvale and utterly confused, attempts to complete the tutorial.
Shelob obliterates Carforgoth, as usual, licking each of her legs with a smack.
She awaits the journey that will bring this hobbit eventually to her lair!
Sairlec unrigs the lottery machine and claims: 'No winners!'
Ferdiad is jabbed with the pin of a ribbon in the ensuing riot.
Zelindo snatches the ribbon and holds it aloft in victory!
Iskendel claims to have won everything at the Event!
For proof, Miliana challenges him to a drinking contest.
As she passes out in a drunken stupor, he celebrates his triumph!
A warthog sounder, lion pride, and goat herd stampede from the Arena!
Mekhennen's fuzzy ass shuffles along with them, chased by a barking Auri!
Bored spectators leave as Carforgoth and Isigel continue to fight.
Colven retrieves his cardboard cutout from The Benchwarmers.
Aragorn announces Colven as the winner, at a whopping 16h 6m 1s!
The cutout becomes the latest addition to Colven's License to Quill.
Finally sated, drunkards do as drunkards will and pass out.
Mog turns the light on in Dark Arda. Real Arda falls dark.
Absinthe any more nukes, Josi burns his hoard of arcade tickets.
Still stumped, Still gives up submiting to the reboot message box.
Stealthily checking his map, because real men don't use them, Guilt
navigates his way from the lottery to the Event entrance.
The sound of a heavenly choir suddenly echoes from above!
Many Ardans look downward. Some are smarter and look skyward.
Osse looks at the back of his eyelids, fast asleep.
A bright warm light shines from above as the voice of Eru sings:
"Behold the Event, and what you have wrought,
For with every Party, there is a Hangover,
and with every Hangover a Party!"
