1

Recognize the privilege of feeling safe

In my fireside chats about Better Allies, I’ve had the opportunity to discuss privilege with many male leaders here in the U.S. and worldwide. Ahead of time, I always ask them to review my list of 50 Potential Privileges in the Workplace and be prepared to discuss if they were surprised by any of them. While our conversations are varied, I’ve started to notice a theme: Many men hadn’t realized feeling safe was a source of privilege until reading my list. For example,

• You feel physically safe at work and at professional events.
• You feel safe leaving work late at night and going home after evening events.

To explore how an ally can take action once they recognize they have this privilege, I love sharing the story of Charles, a male tech leader who I met last year when we spoke together on a panel.

First, let me set the context. Charles was boarding a flight to attend a conference when he saw a woman coworker. After suggesting they share a ride from the airport to the conference hotel, Charles learned that she was staying a few miles away because the main hotel was overbooked. He then said sympathetically, “Oh, that’s too bad; you spend more time on your expense report with all those additional taxi receipts.”

Extra paperwork? That was the least of her worries.

She went on to explain that every time she gets in a taxi or rideshare with a stranger, she worries she might be harassed. In the past, she’d had some “terrible, scary” experiences. Over the next few days, she’d have to run this risk every morning to get to the conference and every night to return to her hotel. For the next few days, she’d be concerned about her personal safety in ways he’d never imagined.

As a result, Charles offered to swap hotels with her. He also committed to advocating for shuttle services and prioritizing rooms for women at the conference hotel in the future.

Now it’s your turn. Think about your workplace. What activities or situations might cause someone to be concerned about their personal safety? Reach out to a coworker and ask if they’ve felt unsafe at work and what would make them feel safe. Then take action.

2

Help build reputations

Last week, Dr. Kimberly D. Manning tweeted:

“4 things I know about the academic promotion process:
1. You need a national reputation.
2. You need opportunities to build a national reputation.
3. Not everyone has the same access to opportunities.
4. Sponsors can help with opportunities.”

Reputations are also important in non-academic settings, where promotions to senior roles often require organizational-wide credibility.

I love this mindset of increasing access to opportunities to build a reputation. Perhaps it’s by citing a colleague’s work or recommending them to speak about their project. Or something else.

I want to gather examples of how you create opportunities for people from underrepresented groups to build their credibility within your organization or more widely in their field. Please reply to this email, or share it on Twitter and tag @BetterAllies. 🙏

3

Question age-related restrictions

During a recent call, a client told me about when she spoke up against a policy with a surprising age limitation. Here’s what happened.

Her company was rolling out an emerging leader program, which stated that employees had to be under 32 years old to be considered. Because the age restriction felt arbitrary and unnecessary, she pushed back. She asked why parents over 32 who had taken time off from their careers to raise children weren’t eligible. She wondered why someone older than 32 who had stayed in an individual contributor role (for any reason) couldn’t be considered.

After some debate, the program sponsor removed the age restriction, and the first applicant was a 36-year-old woman. She was accepted into the program, and my client mentioned she went on to have an outstanding career at the company.

Folks, if we come across arbitrary age-related restrictions on policies or programs at our organizations, let’s be sure to question them.

4

Equally laud the skills of younger and older workers

In the Harvard Business Review’s I Was a Manager in an Ageist Workplace, Nicole D. Smith wrote about the ageist behavior that had become normalized in their organization. What did it look like? Older workers didn’t want to work with younger people on another team. Younger employees disparaged older colleagues’ technical skills and willingness to learn. (The article has plenty of other examples, too.)

Smith shared the negative impacts of ageism in the workplace. Not surprisingly, it can “limit the contributions of younger and older employees alike, and lead to people being devalued and excluded. Experts say that if managers allow ageist behaviors to persist, employee job satisfaction, engagement, and commitment all decline.”

Here’s one suggestion Smith recommends for disrupting ageist behavior: Equally laud the skills of digital natives and the knowledge of older workers.

Consider who you endorse publicly and how you talk about them. Reflect on your recommendations for promotion packets and internal awards. Look back on the kudos you’ve given casually. If you haven’t valued and praised the skills of both younger and older colleagues, you have some work to do.

5

Realize candidates may be covering

A few weeks ago, I wrote that instead of favoring a candidate because of impressive volunteer experience, we should realize that not everyone can afford to volunteer their time.

After reading that section, subscriber Sarah Harling contacted me with an additional perspective to consider. “I thought of candidates who may have volunteered but—for a variety of reasons, including not wanting to expose or highlight certain aspects of their identities—may not have chosen to include this information on an application or resume.”

Harling mentioned a few examples, such as volunteering with a child-centered group that might emphasize their role as a parent. Or with a religious group that might cause others to perceive them as someone who would bring an unwanted religious influence to the workplace. Or with an LGBTQ+ group that might raise questions about their sexual orientation.

What a good point. I have to admit that I’ve been concerned about such bias throughout my career. For example, my resume doesn’t list that I was on my church’s vestry, which is akin to being on a board of directors for a non-profit. Or that I was a room parent for many years for my children’s school.

If someone reviewed my qualifications, looking for volunteer experience as an indicator of a success factor for an open position, they would have passed me by.

Allies, let’s realize that candidates may be covering aspects of their identity. If we tend to value volunteer work, let’s take a step back and think of other ways to evaluate what we need for the role.

(Many thanks to Sarah Harling for helping me think about this topic more deeply than I was.)

That’s all for this week. I wish you strength and safety as we all move forward.

— Karen Catlin (she/her), Author of Better Allies®