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Where Do We Draw the Line?
April 15, 2022
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First, From the Heart
Spend a day observing where your attention and energy goes. How much goes out to others – family, friends, work, community? Be honest. How much is left for you?
It’s hard to give ourselves permission to pay attention to our own needs and desires. Is it because we don’t feel worthy, or loved enough? Might society’s conditioning divert our agency by valuing and rewarding attention to others? Even if we are still challenged to tend to our own hearts, the research is clear that this is essential to our well-being and ability to thrive. Not just as individuals, but as communities, as a species, and for the planet as well.
Taking a courageous stand for your well-being will empower those you lead and beyond. It’s not selfish. We know deep in our bones that we cannot give what we don’t have. Show yourself the love and kindness you so generously offer those around you. And then, see how this expands the capacity of your heart to tend to others.
May peace be with you, always,
Laura
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Best of the Blog
Overcoming Obstacles Part 3 – Perfectionism and Boundaries
We are a competitive species. Sometimes so much so that we work well past the point of flourishing. Can we courageously make choices in our leadership and life that support thriving for ourselves and for the whole world. To do this, we need to overcome our impulse to perfectionism and the difficulty we have setting healthy boundaries. Read more.
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Research Worth Sharing
Managing work-life boundaries in the digital age
by Ellen Ernst Kossek
in Organizational Dynamics 45, no. 3 (2016): 258-270.
This evidence-based research shares an abundance of practical applications for exploring your own boundaries. What is your work-life boundary management style? Take the assessment and find out. The article offers self-management strategies and strategies for management and organizations. There is all of this and more in this comprehensive article. Download the research.
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Practice Matters
I Choose Me
I have always been ultra-attentive to the needs of those around me – family, friends, colleagues, the wider community. Never did I hesitate to shower my attention or donate my energy to others. I didn’t question this pattern of behavior. Frankly, I knew that’s what was expected of me and how I was judged as good or bad.
Hey now. Is that really true? What about all the overgiving and overcommitting that slowly gnawed away at my mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing? What about the stress and chaos of holding others up, catering to everyone except myself. Why did it take so long to recognize my own value and worthiness? Beneath it all, I feared I would not be enough, or have enough, or belong, or be loved.
Slowly I took steps to ask myself what I needed. At first I couldn’t even locate an answer to that most basic question. With practice, I am learning to listen to myself more deeply. I am hearing what my body, heart, and mind require, and tending to me with a level of kindness once reserved only for others. Surprisingly, I now have more to give, and can do so with a more joyful heart.
When can we practice? Always!
If you'd like to explore additional Practice Matters, you can find them here.
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Upcoming Program
Compassion Intensive
4-Week Online Experiential Program Begins April 21
Recent neuroscience shows that compassion is both an innate capacity and a skill which can be trained and strengthened. Join an experiential 4-week online journey designed to deepen your compassion skills. This series, led by Laura Banks, condenses components of Compassion Institute’s 8-week Compassion Cultivation Training© course developed at Stanford CCARE. Together we grow our understanding of compassion through evidence-based research, interactive exercises, and group discussion. Register now.
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Upcoming Event
Global Compassion Community Gathering
Free Community Event + Guest Speaker Stephen Trzeciak, MD, MPH
Join us as we explore the science behind the impact of serving others in order to build a more compassionate world. Our guest speaker is Stephen Trzeciak, MD, MPH, author of the influential Compassionomics: The Revolutionary Scientific Evidence that Caring Makes a Difference and the upcoming Wonder Drug: 7 Scientifically Proven Ways That Serving Others Is the Best Medicine for Yourself.
Dr. Trzeciak is professor and chair of medicine at Cooper Medical School of Rowan University, and the chief of medicine at Cooper University Health Care. A practicing intensivist and clinical researcher, he’s been published more than 120 times in JAMA, Circulation, The New England Journal of Medicine, and more. His research has been supported by the American Heart Association and the National Institutes of Health (NIH).
The event is co-hosted by Laura Berland, Founder of the nonprofit Center for Compassionate Leadership, and Monica Worline, co-author of Awakening Compassion at Work, and Research Scientist at Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. Reserve your spot for this free event – Register now.
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Upcoming Event
Compassion In Therapy Summit 2022
Free Online Event April 20-24
We’re delighted to share this wonderful invitation to the second annual free online Compassion in Therapy Summit from our friends at The Awake Network and The Center for Mindful Self-Compassion. Last year’s event was chock full of science and wisdom applicable to our practice of compassionate leadership as well as to mental health professionals, and we’re excited to learn what’s new and emerging in the field.
If you want to hear the latest evidence, tools, and neuroscience around compassion, this FREE online event will be an opportunity to gather strength and inspiration, and learn how to successfully integrate mindfulness, self-compassion, and compassion into your leadership, professional practice, and life.
This year’s lineup features inspiring and practical sessions with more than 25 world-renowned teachers including Kristin Neff, Chris Germer, Tara Brach, Roshi Joan Halifax, Paul Gilbert, Resmaa Menakem, Dan Siegel, Rick Hanson, Thupten Jinpa, Bessel van der Kolk, Rhonda Magee, Richard Davidson, Richard Schwartz, and many more…
These leading teachers will be offering fresh insights, evidence based practical tools, clinical demonstrations, and guided practices to support you in embodying compassion and better serving your clients and teams. You’re welcome to join one session, or tune in for all 25+ sessions. Reserve your spot for this free event – Register now.
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