The work we do at Tribeless is to make the process of sharing, of personal disclosure, of being seen… a little less scary. A little more palatable, more within our control. We design fine-tuned environments, containers, where for just a little while — two hours, maybe three, sometimes eight — we can let our guards down, and just be. Breathe a little. Think about our lives, our stories.

The messy, scary, heavy, oftentimes incomprehensible things that live in the backs of our minds. We take them out – and use our words, our voices – to unravel them, to make sense of them, together.

We do this as a group, to know that we are not alone. To know that the messy, scary, heavy thing isn’t unique to just us. In fact, after six years of doing this — from strangers to corporations — the #1 takeaway is that we are more similar than we are different. A truth we must each experience for ourselves.

It isn’t always easy, this business of being seen. Often, there are complications, misunderstandings, Mercury Retrogrades, and a million different reasons why it’s “not the right time” — to talk, to listen, to be. One thing I’ve learned these six years: make time anyway. Take the leap anyway. Share your heart anyway.

More often than not, the other person will thank you for it.

Recently, I had the opportunity to experience this firsthand with Sim. We were at the tail-end of lunch together... which is of course when I finally worked up the courage to place a piece of cardstock on the table. Intrigued, Sim leaned in.

It was an “IOU” she gave me for Christmas 3 years ago. On it, she wrote: “Ask me a difficult question, no consequences.”

I took a deep breath, and said: “We never had the opportunity to talk about it, so I would like to clear the air. Why did you leave Tribeless?” 

Sim blinked in surprise. “I didn’t realize this has been on your mind.”

I told her, because of the sudden nature of her departure, Shawn and I took it very personally. “He often tells me I drove the whole team away because of my inability to commit to a path forward,” I admitted, tears unexpectedly springing to my eyes. I didn’t realize how much his words had hurt me.

Sim took my hand in hers. “That’s very painful, and not right for him to say,” she says. “There is some truth to it, as there is truth in everything. But it is not the whole truth. And it is not the reason I left.”

She goes on to explain the journey she’d been on — discovering who she is beyond the context of work and achievement — and the way it’d culminated in her deciding to take a step back from it completely. “It’s not personal to you, babe,” she said, and in that moment, a weight lifted off me.

I’d done it. I’d done the hard thing. I’d initiated a hard conversation — and found clarity for both of us in the end.
 

💗

That’s the thing about being vulnerable: it is UNBELIEVABLY scary in the moment. But it does get better with practice. And it’s even better when you do it in relationship with someone you trust, who is willing to be vulnerable with you, too: because they've done it. 

They know how scary it is to be the one who opens up first. They know how to honor your honesty by bringing their own to the table, too.

And that is how trust is built, and a relationship is grown, together.

Why am I talking about this on Tribeless’s 6th birthday? Because, as we enter our 7th year of existence, I felt it was important to go back down to basics: to remember why we do what we do.

Despite all our talk about empathy and conversations, I believe they are but a means to an end: Safety. Connection. Love. Ultimately, we are a purveyor of brave spaces, where you feel safe enough to be yourself. Because we do our best to be fully, wholly, authentically ourselves.

We dare to share. We dare to be seen. And in embracing our own fragile vulnerability, we are able to hold you in yours, too.
 

🌼

I no longer care about changing the world. I care about being the change I want to see in this world. Each day, we have a choice: who do we want to be?

Selfish, perfect, professional, an overachieving machine… Or human?

I choose the latter. What about you? :)

Happy birthday, Tribeless.

Gwen x

Decided to do something a little different this time: Wrote it all in one sitting, and sharing it with minimal editing! (The perfectionist in me is screaming.) Thank you for reading to the end. I will never take your presence for granted.

See you in the next one,

Gwen Yi
Founder, Tribeless
www.tribeless.co

Some gratitude & celebrations
Before you go... 💛