<<First Name>>, here's a phrase I love NOT hearing: 'Emotions are fluff.'
Especially as I believe it's All Personal, nothing is just business, exactly because of that: emotions are ANYTHING BUT fluff.
To paraphrase Colm Murphy, one of the amazing faculty in my Team Coaching Practitioner Certification program at the Global Team Coaching Institute (GTCI) 'When we’re feeling emotions around a topic, it means it matters. It’s not 'fluff'. It’s important!'
Now, I've had so many powerful discussions about how to have 'difficult conversations' these past couple of weeks, either in courses I teach, coaching sessions I run, classes I take. Learning all around!
And here's the thing: difficult conversations are difficult for both parties. The least they are is uncomfortable, if not difficult.
Yes.
It's gonna FEEL uncomfortable (if not even difficult), for me to give you a piece of constructive feedback.
Chances are it's going to feel uncomfortable (if not even difficult) for you to receive that feedback, too.
And when we look past the logical, rational and linear narrative of what the conversation IS about, the number one reason of what makes conversations difficult is - you guessed it - emotions!!
It's all about what the conversation FEELS like - AND the consequences of that!
And here are some of the emotions behind difficult conversations:
- worry (about results)
- concern (about the relationship or the risks)
- care for the situation or the people involved
- fear (of unknown scenarios, of losing control, of losing relationships)
- confusion about best practices to handle them
No wonder that the stats (source: VitalSmarts, October 2021) say that:
- one in 4 people have been putting off an 'uncomfortable' conversation for at least six months
- one in 10 people have been doing so for a year
- another one in 10 people have been staying silent on an awkward issue for more than two years!
Think emotions are 'fluff'?
Nah.
They're the number one indicator of just HOW important that conversation really is.
The stronger the emotion, the more important (and urgent) the conversation might be.
<<First Name>>, one of the first and most impressive Canadian stories I heard when we moved to Canada in 2017 was the Terry Fox story. A true story. A real-life legend, in fact!
I was attending a networking event and someone mentioned Terry Fox. I'm I must have looked pretty confused (had never heard the name before) as they asked: 'Do you know about Terry Fox?' I said 'No, and I'm so curious to find out.'
They should have prepped me, I should have had a tissue nearby.
Because Terry's story is an absolute HERO journey, that left such an incredible LEGACY to this day! My eyes are teary as I write this right now.
'Terrance Stanley Fox CC OD (July 28, 1958 – June 28, 1981) was a Canadian athlete, humanitarian, and cancer research activist. In 1980, with one leg having been amputated due to cancer, he embarked on an east-to-west cross-Canada run to raise money and awareness for cancer research.
Although the spread of his cancer eventually forced him to end his quest after 143 days and 5,373 kilometres (3,339 mi), and ultimately cost him his life, his efforts resulted in a lasting, worldwide legacy. The annual Terry Fox Run, first held in 1981, has grown to involve millions of participants in over 60 countries and is now the world's largest one-day fundraiser for cancer research; over C$800 million has been raised in his name as of April 2020.'
So no wonder that, in September 2017, we registered for our first Terry Fox run to raise funds that go to cancer research. And we've been doing this run every year, alongside so many others who were inspired by Terry's story of determination, resilience, courage and hope!
We're running again this Sunday, September 18th. This photo is from 2019, before the pandemic, and this year is going to be the first year we'll be running with other Terry Fox runners in person!
2020 and 2021 were a bit tricky, but the run still happened, differently: we biked in our neighbourhood:)!
For those of you who'd like to 'run' with us in this race against cancer, I'm going to leave a link where you can make donations (if you so choose).
<<First Name>>, what does leadership have to do with kindness, and what does that have to do with well-being? Well, everything!
When we Lead with Kindness, we open the door for well-being to come first!
And guess what the definition of well-being is: it is ‘the state of being healthy, safe, comfortable and happy.’
And when our teams are in this state, long-term high performance is a natural effect!
Some effects of focusing on kind leadership and well-being in the workplace:
- 21% greater PROFITABILITY
- 17% higher PRODUCTIVITY
- 10% higher CUSTOMER RATINGS
This Saturday, I am thrilled to be speaking about Leading with Kindness at the M.A.P.S. GLOBAL EVENTS: 'Vibrant Living Global Summit - Bringing You Peak Performance and Mental Fitness Hacks You Need to Tap into Your Innate Super Powers'.
I'll drop the link for free registration below, if you're interested to join us live and online.
Oh, and I know you didn't ask, but my time slot is at 10 am ET, just in case :).