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Hello Master <<First Name>>,
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"How have I ruined everything again?!?
After I promised myself I will not do this anymore… )-: "
Have you ever realized that we keep damaging and sabotaging
because this is one of our most effective tools
to prevent a potential unpleasant
and protect ourself from heartbreaks?
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Do we even need to say that this is a habit from childhood…
That was developed, or adopted, by our protective operating system,
our inner defending responsible adult –
the ego,
to keep us safe, accepted and taken care of.
So most of the time, we just do that unconsciously
(otherwise we would, in most cases, stop – wouldn’t we?)
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In the sabotage way, we stay in control –
even if it doesn’t look like that;
It often feels as if things actually went out of control, right?
and of what we wanted.
But in fact, the predicted danger, or suffering,
is perceived so threatening,
that keeping away from it is truly a relief
for both the protective system, and our inner worried child.
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And what about self sabotage?
- For sure, and it’s coming very soon -
Just first, let’s see this:
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How do we sabotage?
– We just drop the reins,
and let the ego to unconsciously run the show:
To weave negative stories, evoke fights,
invite distractions, numbness, foggy head - - -
There are so many ways to separate and break the harmony
with what no longer feels secure to stay around, or to leave.
The ego through sabotage builds a bridge
between where we are now - and the desired withdrawal,
and allows to make the move
without feeling too sorry, empty or terrified.
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Examples? – Here are only a few:
~ Have you ever thought of leaving a workplace, relationships,
quitting a consumption, giving up on an idea or a dream you found illusional
but the fear of missing out, of the loss,
of loneliness, uncertainty, unknown
held you back?
Sabotage can pave the way
between the fear, and the actualization.
When there is a drama,
when the situation is perceived negative and unwanted,
making the move is much easier.
(Just a funny example... I remember when in high school
I didn’t want to eat bread anymore.
So I used to imagine that it’s bad and moldy } -: )
Can you think of times when it happened to you?
When you knew it was already time to change, but you didn’t,
and then things started to collapse and became ugly or harmful?
~ Have you ever felt that the other side is about to letting you go,
or you were worried about being found not good enough,
and couldn’t bear the thought of getting dismissed, or abandoned?
Did the ego's trick work there too?
~ And for preventing disappointment?
~ Fear of failure? When the flow is somehow cut
before getting to the potential fruition -
because what if it isn't?
~ Fear of success? Of setting high standard
that may lead to expectations,
of being lonely at the top,
of realizing it is too big, too hard, exhausting to maintain, a heavy commitment…
~ Fear of intimacy… For staying away of vulnerability and exposure…
(This one is actually worth its own email,
such a core issue that disables so many things!)
~ Not wanting to say ‘No’ - so causing the other side to be the one
who is not interested in their request anymore?
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And finally – Self sabotage:
The habit we adopted in early days, when we couldn’t be who we really are,
and had to adjust, blend in, follow others’ expectations, please, survive.
Then, we had to convince ourself
that uniting with our soul, intuition, healthy judgement, powers –
is highly risky and not desired at all.
And therefore, very often, we trained ourself to ruin the relationships
with our sacred body, and with our inner world.
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So now what?
Now, we are independent and capable,
free to shift into more healthy and balanced way of life,
if we want.
To use a compassionate communication and find golden paths,
instead of creating more chaos and sorrow.
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Like always, we can start with taking responsibility
by realizing and acknowledging the real reality,
understanding what we really want to happen,
making conscious decisions
and willingly accepting the potential consequences.
By working through the fears that hold back
and through the deep pains,
hand in hand with our inner scared child.
Making for both of us a safe, calm home
to constantly and cheerfully grow, glow and thrive.
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Keep taking a good care,
Sending love and health,
See you,
Inbal
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