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August 31, 2020
Dear Be the Influence (“BTI”) Parents,
Welcome to the 2020-21 School Year! We'd like to extend an especially warm welcome to all new parents who recently have joined our BTI community. We hope everyone had a good and COVID-free summer and is having a good start of school, notwithstanding the remote learning and smoky skies.
This school year will be like no other and the start of it is not what we had hoped for. We are all feeling the trepidation and uncertainty associated with the many challenges and unanswered questions of the pandemic and school. How long will distanced learning last? Will our children get behind? When will we return to some semblance of normalcy? During these stressful times, it's so important for parents to stay attuned to their children's emotional and social needs. This BTI blog written at the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic can help you do that.
This newsletter will cover the following topics:
- "Let's Talk" Booklet and follow-up discussion sessions beginning on October 14th.
- Blogs with tips for Back to School.
- Blog about Teens and Alcohol.
- September 22nd screening of the documentary Alcohol: The Magic Potion.
- BTI housekeeping matters - Update your information! And Refer a Friend or two.
- BTI Survey - we'd love to hear from you!
LET'S TALK: A TOOLKIT FOR NAVIGATING TEEN SUBSTANCE USE IN MARIN COUNTY
Hot off the presses is this new and highly informative booklet, "Let's Talk: A Toolkit for Navigating Teen Substance Use in Marin County. Although it was mailed a couple of weeks ago to every freshman parent in Marin County, it's also relevant to parents with kids of all ages. And while the booklet highlights local conditions that Marin teens face, it also is useful to parents living outside of Marin. The booklet covers topics including local data, what's happening to your teen and why it's a big deal, parenting tips to support our teens, drugs commonly used by our teens, legal and school consequences and how to find support.
Created by Marin Healthy Youth Partnerships ("MHYP"), a local coalition to address teen substance use, with support from Marin Prevention Network of the County Marin Department of Health & Human Services and Marin County Office of Education, the booklet is available online in English and Spanish here.
Discussion events. MHYP will be conducting monthly follow-up discussion sessions via Zoom in English and Spanish beginning in October. They will be facilitated by local experts and teens and each session will correspond to a chapter in the booklet as follows:
All sessions will be on the first Wednesday of the month at 7 PM.
- 10/7 - What’s happening to your teen?
- 11/4 - What’s the big deal?
- 12/2 - Parenting to support our teens
- 2/3 - Uppers, downers and all-arounders
- 3/2 - Legal and school consequences
- 4/7 - Getting support and help
We encourage all parents to read this important resource and participate in these follow-up discussion sessions. Zoom links will be forthcoming!
BACK TO SCHOOL BLOG
With summer over, students are "back at it again", albeit virtually. This BTI blog will help your school year get off to a good start and learn about:
- How transitional periods, such as starting a new school, increase the risk of drug use.
- How to talk to your teen about school and get more than the standard "fine", "good" or "ok" response to "how was your day?"
- The "4Cs" of parenting adolescents: Communication, Clear Rules, Checking Up and Consistency.
ALCOHOL AND TEENS BLOG
Alcohol is ubiquitous in our society, both in the U.S. and around the world. It is the most widely used drug by adults and is so common and accepted that most people don't think of it as a drug. Likewise, alcohol is the number one drug of choice among teens. Many parents used alcohol as teens, sometimes to excess, and came out "just fine". As adults, they use alcohol in responsible and controlled ways. A majority of teens will follow the same pattern. Yet there are significant risks associated with underage drinking and the difference between today's patterns of teen drinking from those of a generation ago is stark. Read all about it in this BTI blog.
Parental Modeling. At the beginning the pandemic, a San Francisco Chronicle article entitled "Bay Area Drinking 42% More Alcohol than Usual while Sheltering in Coronavirus Pandemic" discussed the increased rates of alcohol consumption by adults. Rates of drinking and binge drinking were already high in Marin before the pandemic and this is correlated with the higher than average rates of underage drinking among Marin youth. Programs like Raising the Bar are working towards a community shift away from a culture that promotes substance use. This is not about adult use – but rather the way it impacts local youth.
Parents can model a healthy relationship with alcohol by being aware of what that looks like. An article entitled "Knocking Back Too Many 'Quarantinis'? Here's How to Keep Drinking in Check" points out that, as long as you’re healthy, it’s OK to have a glass or two of wine or a "quarantini". It goes on to suggest that “even if the cocktail you made is a masterpiece, the real focus of the evening should be on the people who are there with you and the personal connections you’re making.” We can use this time to be mindful and intentional about what types of coping skills we are modeling – and how we are caring for ourselves and others.
UPCOMING PARENT ED EVENT: SCREENING OF "ALCOHOL, THE MAGIC POTION" on Tuesday September 22, 2020 from 7 pm - 9 pm. Marin Healthy Youth Partnerships (MHYP) will host a screening of this 50-minute documentary followed by a panel discussion of experts on alcohol use and a teen.
No substance on the planet is so familiar to us and so unbelievably varied in its effects. It is readily available, and despite its psychoactive, adverse health effects, rarely is it called a drug or the fact that three million alcohol-related deaths that happen each year is not dwelled upon. Director Andreas Pichler visits several countries, searching for answers on what makes us drink, what alcohol does to us, and to what extent the powerful alcohol industry and its lobbyists influence politics and society. He also presents us with ways other countries have turned the tide.
Parents and children are encouraged to view this event together. To register for this free event and receive the Zoom link when available, click here.
BTI HOUSEKEEPING MATTERS. Before you go, here are a few quick "to dos" ...
Please Update Your Info. With the start of a new school year, we are hoping that returning parents will take a moment to check and update their family information on the BTI Parent Lists. We recently automatically stepped each student up one grade. However, please edit your own records to reflect attendance at a new school (especially middle schoolers starting high school), the addition of any new siblings and any changes to your parent contact information.
The process of editing your record is easy - simply go to the Parent Directory and log-in. Search for your record by name and click on the "Edit Family" button at the top. Then click on any item that needs updating. Be sure to hit the Save button. If you are adding a new sibling, also hit the Create button and then Save.
No longer wish to receive BTI newsletters? Finally, if at any time you wish to "graduate out" of BTI, please click here. While parenting high school graduates, whether they are working, traveling or attending college, is very different, you still matter a great deal! Stay connected and keep those conversations around risky substance use going. Our BTI newsletters and website still have a lot of offer to parents of graduates, especially around "harm reduction" measures such as moderation and safety, and drugs more popular in college, such as Adderall, Xanax, Ecstasy and Cocaine.
No longer wish to make the Parent Agreement? Also, it is important for those who previously made the BTI Parent Agreement but no longer abide by it to have their names deleted from the BTI Parent Directory. Please email us to do so - no judgment!
Refer a Friend! Finally, our Refer a Friend feature allows you to introduce a friend to BTI. Please help us spread the word about BTI - the larger our community is, the stronger we are! Remember, parents can sign up to receive the newsletter only without making the BTI Parent Agreement.
Take the Be the Influence Survey. We value your feedback! Our survey from last spring is still open. If you haven't already, please take a minute to complete this quick 6-question survey so we can continue to assess our effectiveness and how we can improve BTI for parents.
THE TOP 5 WAYS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF BTI'S RESOURCES
Finally, for those of you who are new parents, in addition to reading our newsletters, here are the top 5 ways to take advantage of all the resources that BTI offers:
1. Reach out to other parents through our Parent Directory! It is so important to network with other parents and that is often not easy. BTI makes it so! Determine whether a hosting parent has made the BTI Parent Agreement. If so, become each other's allies. If not, consider mentioning BTI or send them an email by our Refer A Friend feature. This is especially useful at the beginning of the school year when your child is socializing with new friends or attending parties and sleepovers at homes hosted by parents who you do not know (or, as if often the case, at homes when the parents are not present and are unaware of the party!)
2. Visit our Website! Useful pages to check out include:
and much more! New content is being added regularly, so visit our website often. And don't forget our website feature called Talk Space, in which parents can ask questions and post tips.
3. Read our Blog! Topics from the past school year include:
and much more!
4. Follow Us on Facebook. We post news on adolescent substance use, new research findings and information about upcoming events in our community
5. Email Us for Help If You Are Concerned About Your Child!
 If you are concerned that your child has a substance use issue, BTI can point you to local resources for support. If professional help is needed, it is critical to find someone with specific experience in substance use and addiction. There are many approaches to dealing with this issue and one size does not fit all, Help may come in the form of group or individual therapy, intensive outpatient programs, residential treatment centers, wilderness programs and support groups for parents. Early intervention is important, and it is far easier to address these issues while your child is still a minor and living at home. Email us if you need help. We will keep all information confidential.
That's it for now. We hope that you have a smooth and healthy beginning of the school year!
—The Be the Influence Committee
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