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My New Friends the Stoics
September, 2020

Dear Friends,

Over the past few months I've spent a lot of time hanging out with this fellow and his friends. Let me tell you about them, because you might want to make their acquaintance too. 

His name is Epictetus. Born a slave around the year 50 CE in what is now Turkey, he had a lifelong limp said to have been the result of having his leg deliberately broken by his master. Later in life he gained his freedom, which he used to pursue his passion for philosophy, eventually founding his own school. He became one of the most influential teachers of his time, and in subsequent ages as well.

I've turned to Epictetus because like many of you, I would guess, I’ve been searching for ways of dealing with anxiety and frustration about what’s happening in the world. I've found great meaning in Stoicism, an ancient school of philosophy founded by people, including Epictetus, who also lived through tumultuous times. 

One of the first things I learned about Stoicism is that its popular image is almost totally wrong. You know, the bit about keeping a stiff upper lip, not whining, and not showing your emotions. Stoicism is actually far more complex---and helpful---than that simple-minded approach. 

I think it’s telling that two of the most famous Stoics came from opposite ends of society. One was Marcus Aurelius, who was emperor of Rome in the second century. The other was Epictetus. Though their life circumstances were very different, Stoicism gave both of them meaning and direction.
 
If I had to sum up the essence of stoicism, it would be this: we should try to cultivate tranquility no matter what happens. This doesn’t mean suppressing our emotions—in fact, just the opposite, because the Stoics sought to cultivate joy. 

If you’re interested in learning about the Stoics, I recommend a lovely book by William Irvine called A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy. According to Irvine, one of the most important techniques taught by the Stoics is something called negative visualization. It's used to help people create a desire in themselves for the things they already have.

The Stoics recommended that we should regularly imagine that we have lost the things we value—that our spouse has left us, for example, or our car was stolen, or we lost our job. Doing this, the Stoics said, will make us value our spouse, our car, and our job more than we otherwise would.
 
When we say goodbye to a friend, for example, the Stoics advise us to silently remind ourselves that this might be our final parting, because our friend may not survive until we can meet again. That applies to our own life as well. Each day, we should periodically pause to reflect on the fact that this day could be our last. The goal is not to change our activities, but instead our state of mind as we go about those activities. We still need to plan for tomorrow, in other words, but we must also remember to appreciate today.
 
The second technique recommended by the Stoics helps people deal with the negative effects of desire. Whenever we desire something that is not up to us, our tranquility will be disturbed. If we don’t get what we want, we will be upset, and if we do get what we want, we will experience anxiety in the process of getting it and then will worry about the prospect of losing it.
 
To combat this, the Stoics advise that we use a kind of triage in relation to our thoughts. We should clearly identify the things over which we have total control, the things over which we have partial control, and the things over which we have no control.

To the Stoics it makes no sense to waste one minute of worry or care on things over which we have no control. On the other hand, if it is something over which we have partial control, we should do our best, an action which we can control, but then give up all expectation of the result, which we cannot control.
 
And then there’s the third category that includes things over which we have total control. For the Stoics, that includes our opinions, our impulses, and our desires. In other words, we can control our inner landscape. And that is true whether you are a slave or an emperor.
 
Now this may sound too simplistic, I realize. But there’s no denying that Stoicism has helped people survive the harshest of conditions. One of the most famous contemporary examples is William Stockdale, who credited his knowledge of Stoic philosophy for helping him survive seven years as a prisoner of war during Vietnam. During those years he was repeatedly tortured, kept in solitary confinement, malnourished, and denied medical care, but he drew courage and strength from the words of the philosophers who had lived and died many centuries before him. (He tells this story in his memoir Courage Under Fire.)

Stockdale realized, as the Stoics had before him, that no matter what our external circumstances, we can have control over our values. And if we live in accordance with our values, and if we’ve chosen values that are honorable, then we can have tranquility and peace and flashes of joy, even in the midst of the hardest circumstances.
 
Marcus Aurelius put this in terms of what we would call character. We are, he said, the only ones who can stop ourselves from attaining goodness and integrity. We have it entirely within our power to prevent viciousness and greed from finding a home in our souls.
                                       
Epictetus also spoke of the need to control our minds. "If someone in the street were entrusted with your body, you would be furious," he said. "Yet you entrust your mind to anyone around who happens to insult you, and allow it to be troubled and confused.”
 
In reading the wisdom of the ancient Stoics, I can’t help but think of all the ways in which I allow my mind to be captured by externals, whether it’s the news or social media or whatever irritation floats through my consciousness. We all would do well, I think, to remember another piece of advice from Epictetus: “You become what you give your attention to…If you yourself don’t choose what thoughts and images you expose yourself to, someone else will.”
 
The more I learn about Stoicism, the more I appreciate its deep insights and wisdom, which are just as applicable now as thousands of years ago.
 
Blessings on all your journeys--

Lori
 
 

(image of Epictetus from Wikimedia Commons)


Recommended Reading:

The classic work on Stoicism is the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, one of the most influential works of antiquity and a source of inspiration to countless readers through the centuries.

Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman's The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverence, and the Art of Living provides a year's worth of inspiration.

In How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life, philosopher Massimo Pigliucci shows how these ancient teachings have surprising relevance for today. 

 

Book Updates:

Near the Exit: Travels with the Not-So-Grim Reaper is about places that have helped me come to terms with mortality. Foreword Reviews gave it a silver award for best religion book of 2019, calling it "an ideal guidebook for facing the inevitable,"

My previous book Holy Rover: Journeys in Search of Mystery, Miracles, and God is a memoir told through trips to a dozen holy sites around the world. According to author River Jordan: “Reading Holy Rover is like hitting the lotto of a road-trip with Anne Lamott, Barbara Brown Taylor, and Elizabeth Gilbert—one filled with intoxicating conversations, exciting discoveries, and plenty of spiritual rule-breaking.”

For a full list of reviews, awards, and media coverage for both these titles, see my Lori Erickson website. 

And if you've read and enjoyed either of my books, I hope you'll write a review on Amazon or Goodreads. Your review will help other readers discover my work. 



 


Lori Erickson is one of America’s top travel writers specializing in spiritual journeys. She's the author of Near the Exit: Travels With the Not-So-Grim Reaper and Holy Rover: Journeys in Search of Mystery, Miracles, and God. Her website Spiritual Travels features holy sites around the world. 
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