It's tricky.  Managing  our lives in the context of this pandemic for so long.  It's like  walking a tightrope.  No matter what you decide your standards are, you can trigger people who have different standards and our society has been in the habit lately of responding with judgement to differences.  No wonder generalized anxiety is so rampant right now!!  

The reality is that this pandemic won't stop until everyone gets on board with stopping it because it's air borne and can travel asympomatically.  Which means accepting that the 'new normal' is that everyone has to continue to sanitize their hands, wear masks and keep 2 meters apart... around the world....until it's erradicated.  And we all need to grieve that we won't be travelling, going to concerts gathering in crowds or watching sports in arenas the way that we used to.  This is not 'just the flu', it's one that, if you get it, could cause you to die or have you on a ventilator in order to breathe.   

We must navigate the severity of this whilst calming our anxiety and not having our bodies in a state of constant fight or flight. 

That's a fine line to walk.

So my suggestion is to get......READY.  SET.  GO!

So the getting ready is about setting realistic expectations about what is coming down the pipe.  Not that we can control it or that we won't be living with levels of uncertainty that are unprecedented during our lifetime, but anticipating uncertainty and strategizing about how to ride the wave of it is better than having the rug pulled out from underneath you. 

Getting set is about establishing your personal standards and strategies.  Some people need to maintain very high standards of sanitation and personal space because of their immune system, a loved one's fragility and/or anxiety.  Whilst others need to prioritize maintaining social contact to manage their mental health while still honouring the social distance standards.  'You do you' is the motto of the day.  Tell people what you need if your standards are different and be kind and respectful towards the differences.

And Go....is about getting out there and having your life and riding the waves and the potential gong show  that it could be.  We can't put our lives on hold indefinitely until this virus has been erradicated.  We must maintain standards to erradicate Covid AND have our lives and trust our own resilience and the resources we have around us to get us through if we get it.

It's easiest if you think of Anxiety as a bad math equation.

There will tendency towards a magnification of the fear or threat over a minimization of your resilience or ability to cope and find resources to help you cope.  It's a terrible place to live in your mind.  Torturous for those that live with this all of the time without much relief.  

So the skills to manage this anxiety are: to be able to put the threat into realistic terms, remember the resilience you have internally, focus on what you have control of vs what you don't, and remember the resources that you have in your life that would help you cope if the threat became real.  

Let me walk you through an example.  The news is not helpful with mental health stuff, that's why I recommend you minimize the consuming of it.  

Here's a headline from this past week:

 

"Tam urges caution as daily cases of COVID-19 rise 25 per cent in last week." *Dr Theresa Tam is Canada's Chief Public Health doctor.

Now notice what that does to your feelings of anxiety when you read that.  My guess is that lots of people would have increased anxiety because internally they would have made the leap to  'I have a 25% greater chance of dying of Covid this week compared to last week'.  Ahhhhhhh!!!  

However, it is a magnification of the threat and your fear if you just think of that statement without putting it in context with how resourceful you are both internally and in context of where you live.  

Let's break it down.  In the Waterloo Region today the number of Coronavirus cases is 34 with no one in the hospital.  In the Owen Sound area there are only 2 cases.  Waterloo region's population is approximately 617,870.   Grey Bruce's population is  approximately 107,679.  That means that only .000055 percent of people in the Waterloo Region have the virus and .000019 percent of people in Grey Bruce have the virus.  

When you look at those numbers now how is your anxiety?  I expect that it would probably be lower.  Now, you also want to remember your resources.  The World Health Organization states that we have a 98% chance of  surviving Covid if we are younger than the average age of mortality.  We also live in Canada which, thankfully, has a good health care system and no hospital across Canada right now is overwhelmed with Covid patients so they have lots of resources if you need them.  

*****THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT WE SHOULDN'T BE SOCIAL DISTANCING OR SANITIZING YOUR HANDS.  ALSO IT IS IMPORTANT TO PRACTICE NON-JUDGEMENT AND RESPECTFUL BEHAVIOUR WITH PEOPLE THAT HAVE HIGHER STANDARDS BECAUSE THEY ARE RELATING TO PEOPLE ,OR ARE THEMSELVES, IMMUNE COMPROMISED.  AND WHEN PEOPLE HAVE LOWER STANDARDS, SPEAK UP AND LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU NEED.  NO ONE LIKES TO BE JUDGED SO PLEASE MAINTAIN STANDARDS THAT WORK FOR YOU AND RESPECT THE DIFFERENCES WHEN DEALING WITH OTHERS.     BE KIND!!!********

The virus is air borne and travels asymptomatically so the more we all practice these procedures then the better our medical people can get on top of and erradicate the problem.  As long as anyone has it, it can spread asymptomatically and exponentially.  We are collectively the solution.  We just don't need to go around thinking that we're going to die every time someone walks the wrong way down the grocery store aisle!! Thinking anxiously and rigidly about rules and not using our critical thinking skills does not help our mental health nor our immune system if we do happen to get the virus.  

Of course going back to school is going to increase people's bubbles significantly and that can be very scary.  Again, it is important to remember that the numbers are low and that your own resilience will help you cope if you do get it.  For both teachers and students, I'm suggesting focusing on the things that you have control of like creating sanitizing protocols for the classrooms re: using the washroom and touching things in the room.  Also, you could buy a Hepa Filter and put the Board in the position of telling you that you aren't allowed one instead of waiting and being anxious about the airbourne particles in your classroom.  Schedule in time to calm your own nervous system and teach yours students how to calm theirs as part of your daily classroom structure.  And have a strategy for how you and your family will manage if one of you becomes exposed to the virus.  One of the most important strategies re: keeping your anxiety low is that you are focused on what you have control of and not what you don't.   Breathe.  Love yourself.  Love the kids.  Those are skills  that are always avalilable to us so let's focus in on them!

The reality is that we are living through a pandemic.  We can have our strategies and set realistic expectations but in the end we are all just going to have to ride the wave of whatever it's going to be.  This is when a bigger perspective helps.  Don't compare this year to other years re: standards.  It's not!!!  Teachers are going to be teaching kids who are anxious and afraid and/or addicted to their games from lack of structure over the past 6 months because the parents were  having difficulty coping through all of this.  Remember that if your kids don't learn as much as they would have in other years....they are not the only ones..it will be true for ALL kids around the world and your kids/students are still no further ahead or behind! 

I like what Huda Yusuf said, who is a Somali civil war survivor:

"If I can ease some parents worry about this year regarding schooling: my siblings and I (along with millions of others) lost more than two years of education during the civil war in Somalia and the first Kuwait war.
I came to Canada when I was 12 and got placed in 6th grade after not being in school for two years. I am now a Chemist with a graduate degree. I say this to make a point: the kids will be fine. So you saved them a year of being an adult in the future, it will be OK.
My parents and the adults in our life focused in our mental and emotional well being. They distracted us by telling us family stories, spent a lot of time with our elders and played with other kids. It will be all fine. Breath and love the kids. The rule in our household is: people before deadlines!
Added note: all six of us have college degrees and work either in Federal/Provincial government, corporations: Medtronic and Philips, and higher education."


Do what you can to calm and prepare yourselves for the various second and third waves that will be coming and remember that resilience is about trusting that you will find a way to move forward through this and you will become stronger and better because of it.  Those are lessons that everyone needs!

And on the subject of lessons.....let's all give a great big shout out to all of the wonderful teachers out there that will be teaching our kids.  Not just their lessons, but also helping them with their anxiety......raising them up to more than they thought they could be!  Thank you!!!

Here's BYU Vocal Point singing Josh Groban's 'You Raise Me Up' Accapella  Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/rcLl0A-lXIc


Be well folks......we'll get through this!  


Lee