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A word of Torah:
There is one final component of this teaching on teshuva. The distracting thought during prayer isn’t just a red flag calling us to pay attention to the fact that something is wrong or troubling us. If there is purpose or holiness in it, it may not just be a warning but an arrow pointing to the way ahead.
There is a verse from Psalms: The stone rejected by the builders has become the cornerstone (even ma’asu ha-bonim hayta le-rosh pinah, Ps. 118:22). Even as we recognize our imperfections, it is possible to see those imperfections can sometimes be useful or even good. People who struggle with anger can be better able to stand up for what is right then someone who is confrontation adverse. Similarly, people who are confrontation adverse can be better able to find a compromise between the warring factions in a meeting. They can hear people’s concerns and fears rather than being caught up in the emotion of the moment. In other words, sometimes the imperfection can be what is needed to achieve a good outcome.
Rebbe Nahman taught on the verse
“The people stood at a distance, while Moses approached the thick cloud where God was” (Ex. 20:18). At the moment of revelation at Sinai, the thick cloud is in the way of connecting to the holy. It prevents any forward motion; in fact, the people respond by moving away. Moses does the opposite—he goes into the darkness. Life’s journey is filled with obstacles and at times with a darkness that obscures which is the right path to take. Moses understands that the obstacles are part of the journey.
We have left the paradise of the Garden of Eden. Living means dealing wisely with the obstacles that lie in the path ahead. Only by engaging with them can we continue to grow toward the light. It is actually true that the stones blocking the path can become the cornerstones of the building of our life. God is the opportunity in the obstacle, to find your way forward rather than continue to be lost in the fog of the obscuring cloud.
As Rebbe Nahman concludes this teaching (Likkutei MoHaRa”N, I 115):
And, if this person is aware, he/she can find God in the obstacles themselves, because in fact there is really no such thing as an obstacle. In the very force of the obstacle God is hidden, and it is precisely by means of the obstacles themselves that it is possible to draw near to God, since that is where God is hidden, waiting to be found. That is the meaning of our verse: “Moses approached the thick cloud” – that is, the obstacle – because that is “where God is.”
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