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Oct 2, 2020
Hello!
I had a EUREKA experience this afternoon that I am excited to share with you. Key words: fear, resources (i.e. money, purpose and love), "other".
Part of it stemmed from my own experience of hearing that Trump and Melania tested positive for covid-19. I went fairly quickly into suspecting a conspiracy. That maybe they are totally fine but felt like creating another distracting ruckus to somehow mess with the election process. Now, I have mentioned before here how much I have been studying Q Anon followers with dread and fascination. Much of my free time lately has been dedicated to listening to podcasts and reading about people who are succumbing to outrageous (to me)-seeming conspiracy theories. And yet, I went there too, quite easily. I'm of at least moderate intelligence and awareness, and my mind went to suspecting a calculated and harmful conspiracy. Noted.
Another part of the EUREKA came when I met with my Glide White Antiracist Group. ("Let love lead!") Based on the wonderful work of http://www.DavidCampt.com/, we practiced today how to converse with those of differing opinions and philosophies. Proceeding with empathy is the suggestion. I'm realizing I'm generally a fan of empathy and enjoying living that way....unless the other person bothers me. And what is usually at stake when I am bothered? My comfort. And what is usually underlying what happens when I get uncomfortable? I'm scared. I'm scared of the discomfort. I'm scared of the other person's disapproval of me and my beliefs. I tune them out because I don't want to experience the fear.
Dropping in to that level of inquiry more deeply, I was reminded of a prayer that I love and turn to quite often.
"Divine, please help my actions match my intentions."
I say that my intention is to be deeply connected to others. I say that my intention is to be of sane and happy usefulness in the world. And yet I allowed in somewhere along the way the fine print that says, "as long as I'm not too scared of potential loss or discomfort. Then I can be a jerk to myself and others.".
Some of you may be like, "duhhhh, I totally get how this relates to money". If not, thank you for reading on just a smidgen more.
When I look at what is standing in between me and financial wellness, I see many places where a metaphorical fear boulder has rolled across the path and is sitting there, heavy and still. I *meant* to keep on the path, I want financial wellness, so far the path has been overall quite lovely and livable but then these dang fear boulders drop in.
My intention is to help more clients....but I'm scared of rejection and being judged negatively and while we're at it let's throw in an underlying fear of mortality.
Tying in the conspiracy theories, and whether or not empathy is present, if I'm not aware of these fears inside of me that seem quite intolerable, THEN I NATURALLY WANT TO BLAME YOU. The 'other'. Other financial coaches are taking up all the clients. More affordable financial education services are luring people away from premium one on one coaching. Maybe I'm not being hired because there are a bunch of mysogynists who think women just belong barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. OMG I could go on all day long.
Get it?! Did I get the eureka across to you?
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May we own our own internal stuff.
May we have empathy that many, many people in the world now are backed into a metaphorical corner and feeling threatened. Sometimes they are imagining that I am (or you are) the threat to their safety and security, and are acting accordingly to protect themselves.
May we take the time to examine our thoughts and beliefs.
May we remember (or learn, if needed) that each human is inherently worthy, and that Earth Life is hard in different ways for everyone.
May we find the willingness to align our actions with our intentions.
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One Tool Takeaway
If you'd like to do a writing exercise (and feel free to email it to me if you want to share it with someone), write a list with 3 things.
1) What is one thing you affirm today?
(i.e. I'm worthy)
2) What is one thing you are grateful for today?
(i.e. my newsletter subscribers! hayyy)
3) What is one commitment to your financial wellness?
(i.e. I will update my YNAB before the end of this weekend)
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Especially For Therapists/Coaches/Helping Professionals
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Lauren Selfridge is a Bay-Area-based therapist who also is doing ground-breaking work on thriving while living with chronic illness. (As well as being a genuinely awesome person to know and love.)
She has her own podcast (called "This Is Not What I Ordered", about living through 2020.....KIDDING! The podcast is about full-hearted living with chronic illness and health challenges.)
Lauren visited with the also-fantastic Tiffany McClain. Check out their podcast ep if you'd like to hear about business growth, being a helping professional online, financial boundaries and negotiations, and a little cameo about financial wellness coaching with B to the C.
(At 28 minutes in the podcast. Yes, I love being non-shaming. Because shame has never helped me change anything, so I don't expect it to be a tool that I use with my clients, either.)
https://www.heytiffany.com/the-money-sessions-episode-37-how-lauren-created-an-online-private-practice-that-allows-her-to-passionately-serve-her-clients-and-give-back-to-the-greater-community/
From Lauren..."Everybody wins....that's the goal for any business, is that the client wins, the provider wins, the people whose lives are touched by the client win, our families win, everybody gets something out of it. We want to show up authentically and fully..." YESSSSS
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2 more slots are left in my Q4 Financial Wellness group if you want in!
We are covering past, present, and future.
*How have 2020 and the radical changes been for you?
*As of today, what have you learned and want to take action on?
*What future are you creating for yourself?
Each person will move ahead (gently, and in connection) their particular area of growth financially.
This won't be a deep dive. It will provide food for thought, hopefully some relief and laughter, and healthy community for your reaching your financial goals. This group is designed for busy people who aren't looking for immersion, but know they want to take some action towards increasing their financial wellness.
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Formula for Financial Wellness = Attention on Your Numbers + Deep Self-Honesty + Connection
Copyright © 2020 Financial Wellness Coaching, All rights reserved.
This is for people who are interested in exploring their financial wellness practices.
Without being rigid or punitive about it. And hopefully while laughing and crying along the way.
(Things go better with some expression and flow!)
Mailing address:
Financial Wellness Coaching
Near A Beautiful Tennis Court!
Corte Madera, CA 94925
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