Good Sunday morning <<First Name>>
A few weeks ago, I was having lunch at my favorite restaurant, where I had grown accustomed to eating copious amounts of their fresh, warm sourdough bread and olive oil while waiting for my food to arrive.
This time, however (and probably because of carb-loading customers like me!), they had made a subtle change to the menu. Innocuously printed right at the top: “Bread and oil - £2.50.”
I was indignant. Outraged. Annoyed. “Well, guess I’m not having any bread,” I said with a huff, and then laughed with my friends about how silly I was being.
And it was then that one of them asked “If you like the bread that much, why don’t you just get it. Aren’t you worth £2.50?”
As the simple enormity of what she was asking started to register, I found myself eating words that so often come spilling out of my mouth when something displeases me: but it’s the principle… and I found myself realizing again (yes, definitely again) that so often my “principles” make things harder or more unpleasant than they need to be (at best), or are a convenient disguise for wanting to feel morally superior in some way (at worst).
And I mean, come on, what principle was I appealing to anyway? That food should be free (I’m not a communist!)? Or that things that once were free can never be charged for (of course not!). If I get value or pleasure or both from something then of course I can be charged for it and I should be willing to pay for it. This is basic economics, not a battle of principles.
So I caved in and let the restaurant win (that’s how it felt anyway) and ordered the not-free-but-incredibly-delicious-bread. And in the end, didn’t I win too? I got fresh, warm, yummy bread in limitless quantities, enjoyed my meal all the more, and got over a stupid hang-up about paying for something that used to be free. As those Mastercard adverts would say. Bread and oil: £2.50. Life lesson learned: Priceless.
So now I ask you, dear Entreprenoras, what are you being cheap with yourself about? What value or pleasure are you denying yourself? Maybe you’re making excuses about why you can’t sign up for an event. Or maybe you’re trying to justify why you can’t afford to take a few days of much-needed time off. Or maybe you’re just refusing to “splurge” on the good, juicy, red strawberries at the supermarket and always settle for the crunchy pale pink ones instead.
But would you be this "cheap" with a child? A partner? A friend? Isn't it strange that we always find ways to do for others (after-school clubs, activities, special outings, lavish meals) what we often deny to ourselves?
If you need it (and sometimes we think we do), you have my permission to stop being cheap with yourself. I am not saying you should overindulge or live beyond your means, but I am saying you are worth (at least a little bit!) more. The daily messages that we send ourselves about what we deserve have a real impact on our lives. I mean, if we don’t think we’re worth good strawberries, why would anyone else? If we don’t value ourselves enough to take time off to recharge, why would anyone else?
So often you get what you give. And by giving ourselves messages about what we do or don’t deserve, about what we are or aren’t worth, we let others give us the treatment that matches those messages. This isn’t just about bread or strawberries or things. This is about how we live our lives and the expectations we have for ourselves.
So, start expecting more. Start treating yourself better. These are things we have to work on all the time (my Breadgate example happened just a few weeks ago!). But I know from my own experience that when I have started to treat myself better or with more kindness – even if just in the way I judge myself internally – then others have started to do the same. Not always, of course, but more often.
Don’t be cheap with yourself, and the world will start to be less cheap with you, too.
xx Rupal
|
|
|
Our Last Signature Masterclass of the Year!
There are only two spaces left for my Signature Masterclass, so if you're interested in joining a small group of founders for a powerful and personal dose of reflection, transformation, and acceleration for your life and business, please sign up!
The Early Bird rate expires on 5 October.
Let's do great things together.
|
|
|
|
|
|
