...between the CEO and the CTO of a tech company. The CEO, like many tech founders, is also the Head of Product. He’s a visionary for more, better, faster. He is always pushing. The CTO, on the other hand, knows what goes into each iteration and wants to protect his team. He often finds himself pushing back.
Both wanted to know how they could minimize the tension between them.
And you know what? I fell for it.
I focused our conversations on how to smooth things over. I won’t say that it was wrong, but I missed a far greater opportunity - to grow their tolerance for discomfort. We all know the virtues of constructive conflict. It sparks innovation, increased commitment and accountability, and leads to stronger relationships. And yet, I chose to focus my attention on how to ease the tension rather than how to use the tension.
Why? Probably for the same reason that all of you choose not to avoid or minimize conflict. Because it’s messy. It takes too much time. It’s uncomfortable. And there are no guarantees.
Yet something the CTO wrote me has continued to stick with me. Prior to our meeting, I emailed the two executives questions to prepare, one of which was: Imagine that you two were really leveraging your differences and there was flow in the relationship, what would be different?
The CTO, using the metaphor of swimming, sent a thoughtful response that maybe flow wasn’t actually possible...
