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Adopting an older child is closer to the adjustment you make when you marry than when you go from childless to being the parent of a newborn — in marriage, each person comes to the relationship with preferences, positive and negative life experiences, and expectations, so each one has to learn new ways of doing things, and give and take.
“ When I first saw the scar, I was concerned. What made it? My child has a mark on her body with no story attached, no way of knowing how it got there. And yet, the scar is a small mystery when compared to the mystery of her origins and birth family. It is only a tiny piece of the picture, a picture that is fuzzy at best. ”
Q: "The other day, my six-year-old held his hands up and said he loves me 'this much,' then spread them wide and said, 'But I love my birth mom all the way to here.' I told him it’s OK to ask questions and have different feelings, and I hope I was able to hide the fact that it stung a bit. What else should I have said?"
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