For you formed my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well.
My frame wasn’t hidden from you, when I was made in secret, woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my body. In your book they were all written,the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there were none of them.”
Psalm 139:13-16
October 27th, 2020
Dear Friends and Family! I hope you are doing well, safe, and cozy! I just want to say: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!! Yes, today it is my birthday… I don’t remember being this excited ever since I turned six, and my mom gave me a Bible as a gift. Also, when I turned eight. For some circumstances that I do not remember, my mom was unable to bake me a birthday cake. And one of my neighbors, a lady to whom I used to call “Aunt” got me a birthday cake, another neighbor brought balloons, other drinks, and all the children from my street came to sing happy birthday to me.
My birthdays during my twenties have been good so far. I turned 21 in Albania while doing missions; I got a beautiful and unexpected birthday party that the children from the children homemade for me. On my 23rd birthday, I was at university that day, low profile, but one three of my closest classmate of the time learned that it was my birthday. They ran to the store and got me a cake and candles, and sitting on the grass on the campus. They sang happy birthday to me.
On my 24th birthday, I was coming back to Colombia from South America, wow! That was a beautiful year! I got to spend it with my oldest cousin and her family. I remember that because of the jet lag I was unable to be awake all afternoon but when I got up a night I found out that they have baked a two-floor cake for me, they didn’t have an oven, but my smart cousin got to make it using a pan… yes, you read well, a pan, those you use to fry eggs. Oh my! What a surprise!
And this is my 25th birthday! Yes, I know… but it is true, I’m turning 25! And I am so excited! I feel like a little child, and I want to shout it to the world: IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! You might wonder why so much happiness… contrary to what you may believe, I am not happy because I am a quarter of a century, wow that sounds cool, but I say it because, during the month of October, I have learned and found the JOY OF BEING ALIVE! It might be obvious to you but it was not for me.
The Joy of Being Alive
Dear Friends & Family, would you time travel with me during this letter? I remember it was in 2017 that I first wrote an open heart letter to you. I shared with you one of my most difficult times in life, the second most difficult. In this letter, I am opening my heart again to you. I want to share with you what God is doing in my heart in this season of my life, but first, we must travel back in time. I want to share with you the story of discovering the JOY OF BEING ALIVE. Let me tell you that this letter probably will be longer than usual. Hopefully, I will be able to make it as short as possible, so get yourself a coffee, tea, or hot chocolate. So fasten your seat belt! Ready? Let’s go.
This story starts back in December 1994 or maybe somewhere during Jan- Feb 1995; my mom was sitting at the office of the doctor, hearing the most disturbing words a pregnant woman can hear. It has been 8 years since her first daughter was born, and since she got married to her friend in the oddest circumstances (a story that I will not share because it belongs to my parents). The daughter of a rich landowner getting married to her poor friend. A young man whose parents abandoned him at a young age, and he had to provide for his younger siblings. Life was tough for him. It is heartbreaking all that he had to do in order to survive, and all he had to suffer because of not having parents. Life made him tough, left him with many scars but made him responsible, grounded his feet on earth.
Their first eight years of marriage were not easy, the opposition they had to face and the tensions made it hard for both of them. They split several times and came back together several times. They have planned to have only one child. One time while they were split, my mom lived alone in a house with my older sister. Every morning she would see a mother riding a motorbike with two dark-skin colored girls. In her dreamful heart, she wished: "Someday. I want to have two daughters like that" Maybe that it is the reason why my younger sister and I, regardless of being three years apart, look almost like twins.
But now, she is facing, probably, her hardest decision in life: “her life or the life of the baby.” My mom was diagnosed with preeclampsia in the earlier stage of her pregnancy. Her condition was too bad. Therefore, the doctors advised her of the best option: “abortion.” Wow! My simple existence was a risk to the life of my mother. She went back home and shared with her husband, my dad. He gave her the money to abort. I don’t blame him for the decision he made. I don’t judge him. After all, none of them knew better back then. They didn’t know God, so I don’t hold them to my standards. Nowadays, I think: How silly of Him! Only God can give life! I see it from a different perspective… I see my life now and think about my mom back then, and I’m sure God wanted my mom’s dream of having two little girls to come true. After sharing with her friends, she decided to go back to Colombia and give birth to the baby, that is, me!
Eight months after she went back to Colombia, probably more than that. My mom was in a hospital room. Doctors in Aruba did not lie. It was true that her life was at stake. She was fighting for her life, and so was I. All the amniotic fluid leaked without her noticing it. Only God knows for how long I was surrounded by blood inside my mother’s womb. But in the middle of it, a miracle happened. While my mom was in a hospital bed, a Christian woman shared the gospel with my mom. My mom grew up in a catholic school with French and English nuns and priests; she grew up reading all kinds of Asian and Middle East books, adventures, and religions and had her version of the world. She experienced many religions during her lifetime. In her sickness, she prayed and called to everything she knew. Yet, no one answered.
So when this woman shared about Jesus, my mom wasn’t sure whether to believe or not. But she tried, and she prayed: “Jesus is you’re real, just as I heard, save me, and my daughter, and WE will serve you for the rest of our lives.” You know Jesus is real, right? It was a process of months and months to be fully healed. But since that day forward, my mom has kept her part of the promised. It was not easy. My mom was blind for a time and my stomach was sick. I couldn’t eat, my stomach would not process many foods, I had skin problems, chronic dermatitis… it was a lot to deal with, even now, and most of my skin and stomach allergies are consequences of that. For a long time, I felt sad because of these issues. Often ugly rashes would appear on my skin, my eyes sensitive to light would be red and swollen, and my tears were too acid for my own eyes. I hated it when people asked me why my eyes and skin were like that. I hated that I would never be able to try certain foods and that I have to stop eating some of my favorites because my stomach wouldn’t process them anymore. I hated it so much.
However, I am learning to see these things as if they were the scars of a battle. The marks that the battlefield left in me. A battle that was fought on the heavens for my life and the soul of my mom. Maybe that is what Jesus thinks when he looks at his hands and sees the marks of the nails that pierced him. His scars are the tangible proof of what he went through and the memory of the victory. I am living proof of his existence. Every day that I live, and with every breath that I take, it is a testimony of his goodness. I am thankful for my mom, who against all odds decided to carry on with her pregnancy. Even when it might have cost her life. She did not regard her life but was willing to give it up. In exchange, God came to her rescue. And gave her abundant life, but gave her not just water from the well but the water of eternal life.
I hope you have enjoyed this part of the story! I hope it has given you faith and strengths, and that has inspired you! But this is not the end of the story. Years later, an event occurred that changed the course of my life forever. But I will leave that story for later. I pray that this story will encourage you, strengthen you, and show you that from beginning to end, God is with you!
Pray For Me!
Well, as many of you already know, I have come back to New Jersey, United States. During this time, I will be preparing to go to Jeju, South Korea. The departure date depends on various circumstances and the process of my staff application. However, it is in my heart to join the Jeju University of the Nations in January 2021.
How can you pray for me?
1. Pray for the process of my YWAM staff application and that I might hear back from them.
2. Pray for this new season of my life, pray that I can continue to dream and live the dreams of God.
3. Pray for God’s wisdom and understanding as I prepared in prayer and action to go to Jeju, South Korea.
Dear friends and family, my prayer for you, is that our heavenly father opens your eyes, for you to see his faithfulness through the hardships of life, and that you may endure to see the wonders of His glory.
