INTERROGATION
The inaugural issue of Ivana's Three I's was a hit! The reception has been phenomenal and I enjoyed reading about your own name stories. I look forward to meeting you in your inboxes every week.
Recently, Apartment Therapy featured two best friends, Erika and Natasha, who purchased a house together in Portland. First of all, they nicknamed their home, "The Cougar Den.” How could I not be intrigued? It is a gathering place for their loved ones and features a heartbreak crash pad for those going through a relationship transition. Most importantly, it speaks to my own desire to create a friendship oasis.
Think about it. Social constructs or not, society creates legitimate constraints for the marginalized. For Erika and Natasha, one of those was money. Becoming home owners on their own just wasn't feasible. So were they just not supposed to own a home? Or were they supposed to wait for a presumed romantic partner to show up? There's something to be said about not waiting for marriage to share the load of life's burdens. In her book, How We Show Up, Mia Birdsong argues that we also place these constraints on ourselves, “hoping for the promise we think ‘normal’ holds.” I can't help but to agree. We use traditions as a crutch. Believing that if we follow the path that has been laid out for us, it's a surefire way to achieve happiness. That isn't to say don't go down that road, but to maybe ask yourself some questions first. How can you create a life that actually works for you if you haven't investigated how those traditions do or don't serve you? Taking advantage of the opportunity to define our relationships and our lives on our own terms creates endless possibilities for the ways in which happiness can be personified.
Up until last week, I spent the last 18 months living with Kelly, my #foreverbestie. Known each other since 3rd grade. Friends since 6th. At 30 (well, I'm still 29, but let's not split hairs), we've been in each other's lives longer than not. There isn't a part of my life that I can't imagine sharing with her, so why not property too? Now, the real dream has never been me living in her guest room, but we have the conversation every so often about what our oasis could look like. In my version, we have a duplex in a city that is not Denver. Whereas Kelly would love for me to purchase the condo next door. Until one of us becomes more amenable to the other's life plan, a den of our own is not on the horizon. Who knows what our oasis will end up being, but nonetheless I love dreaming up all of the options along the way.
Side note: Go check out How We Show Up from your neighborhood library or buy it from your local bookstore. I am obsessed and it is pretty much a promise that it will come up again.
