Ramblings
I experienced a lot of “windshield” time last week. I calculate that I spent roughly 32 hours viewing the world through that small piece of glass. With that much time available, there was plenty of opportunity to be alone with my own thoughts. As the rest of the family was either sleeping or listening to their own music, and with the radio off in the car lest they be disturbed, I initially welcomed the quiet and the time to think and pray. However, that moment of quiet was initially discomfiting, as it was like a dam had burst and all the varied thoughts began pouring into my mind and demanding pride of place and removing the ability to focus attention on prayer. St. Maximos the Confessor called these invasive and pervasive thoughts logismoi, and considered them to be a great challenge to the life of prayer. These logismoi remind us of what is actually most important to us in our heart of hearts in that moment, draw us from our prayer and contemplation, and often become the focus of our speech and conversation.
I was shocked, and surprised, though I should not have been, that my thoughts were not filled with high and holy thing. I was not, in that moment, contemplating God or praying, but filled with thoughts about things of this earth, of politics, viruses, anxieties, and secular business. As I pushed back against these logismoi, and struggled forward in prayer and contemplation, I began to realize how much of my conversation, outside of the pulpit and teaching, had been filled with the very subjects suggested by these thoughts. How often my conversation, in public and private, has turned away from the things of God to the these very contemporary concerns. How often, have I filled my head and my mouth with thoughts of politics, viruses, and secular business, when Jesus should have been on my lips, in my thoughts, and in my heart. St. Paul tells us that we should think about, “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4.8). Our Lord said, “out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).
As a result of this time in contemplation and prayer, I am more convinced that the Church, including me, needs to recommit to those holy habits of prayer that lead to having Jesus in our hearts, that we might speak from His abundance in us. In this Advent Season, may our thoughts continually turn towards Him, that he might find in us a dwelling place, and that through His grace our speech might gently turn other hearts to His love.
May the love of Jesus fill you this Advent Season,
Rev. David J. Halt, SSC,
Rector
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