Dear friends of COVEN,
It’s been a rough year. Everyone has learned lessons in what it means to be alone, what it means to check in, what it means to worry. Everyone knows loss a little more intimately, be it the loss of a job or opportunity, or a friend or family member. Everyone has needed to be resourceful and brave this year. Everyone has had some time to sit and think through what we care about, how we spend our time, our money, and what can be done for all the folks, when everything from energy to access to permission to movement is limited. Everyone is getting to know their limits better.
We’re so proud of us.
This has been an uncomfortable year. There is one month of it left, but it’s almost over. We’ve all taken a seat at this year’s table—a table of sadness, loneliness, anger, frustration, and discomfort. If you ever needed an example of what it means to sit with your own discomfort, look back at your behavior this year. How did you manage? No doubt there were triumphs and moments of utter disaster.
We’re so proud of us.
Every adult decision we made, every time we remembered to wash our hands, every time we let ourselves be children, every time we called our loved ones, every time we felt satisfied, every time we remembered a dream, every time we longed for someone we lost, every time we struggled with restriction and then overcame the struggle by integrating it into daily life, we adapted.
We’re so proud of us.
For dealing with this hardship, for being resilient, for living through time when the texture of time changed formidably. In March. In June. In November. In Berlin. In Belarus. In the USA. In Paris. Everywhere. All the time. One month + infinity left to go.
We got this.
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And now, welcome to edition 2.11 of…
“A Thing that Feels”
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Filmmaker Eluned Zoe Aiano chronicles the last sweaty summers through the languorous lens of French film. It’s an imagistic and thoughtful essay that will make you want to watch a movie set in St. Tropez. Safe to say that 2019 was a far cry from 2020… but what will 2021 bring?
Faced with unwanted gestation during lockdown, Alice dos Reis wrote poignant poems here graciously shared. They are incredible. Babies take over. Lara Croft finds her tomb, cops become babies, and the latter get company before they get language. Makes you think, makes you cry.
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Fictional Band of the Month:
Abandoned Mushroom
Topically popular stoner rock band Abandoned Mushroom's 5th album, Desperate Tomb of Rice, will be available for download starting Thursday morning. Founded in 1999, Abandoned Mushroom have maintained a small but dedicated following in the 18-45 year-old set over the past 20 years. While no subsequent release has topped 2004's Weed Demons III, which briefly entered Billboard's Rock Top 100, their hardcore sound and mellow, befuddling lyrics have received favorable (if bemused) reviews. Desperate Tomb of Rice was inspired by the band's first experience with water-damaged electronics, leading to the building of the eponymous starchy crypt. Though the band's waterlogged efforts were not ultimately successful, we wish the album a bit more luck. 🍄/5 Stars
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Recommendations corner :
things to do with hot water
- Let it cool down to drinking temperature and then realize that it is not hot enough
- Think about how drinking hot water-based drinks will make you feel all warm and cozy but then be too lazy to make them
- Get naked and immerse yourself in hot water, only to be very cold when you emerge
- Wash your hands
- Not know how to position yourself in bed with a hot water bottle because you didn’t grow up in an environment in which they were not only commonplace, but necessary
- Attempt a genital steam but struggle to find the happy medium temperature that is hot enough to make you sweat and drip, but not so hot your bits will burn
- Drink it straight; apparently your digestive system will thank you
- Do a foot bath: so, for this awesome activity you fill a tub with warm water, add your salts, herbs, lemon rinds, crystals, intentions, and whatnot, and boil a kettle. Then get all set up in a good chair, wearing warm clothing, with a towel nearby, and electronic devices far away, if you like. Put your feet in the warm water (it should be temperate enough that this is painless) and move your feet to the side as you pour the boiling water in. This will build the heat slowly. Repeat the process and feel the warmth fill you from the inside out, from the ground up. When you are done, dry off and put on some warm socks, and then get in bed for a little while.
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Dear Galen,
I had a shaved head for a few years. Now it's long, a bit mullet-y, quite femme. My girlfriend says 'I like girls with long hair; I wouldn't like you with short hair.' Here we are, on a road trip over summer, playing a game where you have to bounce off what the other person says, with the idea of going into something uncomfortable. We talked about identity. She talked about questioning her desire to be a 'dude' and I went into this hair thing. Our friend said to her 'X you're such a dick.' Of course, it's more complicated than that. She said recently, 'I thought you might cut your hair out of spite, now I want to suggest you do it, or maybe I'll do it.' I don't want to know whether or not to cut my hair, I do what I feel, but I'd like your thoughts on this general theme.
Love,
Anonymous
Dearest Anonymous,
Hair is important. Long hair can make one feel more powerful; the longer the hair the more magic accumulates around the head. Long hair carries smell in a particular way. The longer the hair the longer the crown. The ability to rid oneself of it is equally powerful. It’s a rejection of the most basic of gender presentations, and it welcomes air and space around the head. All the more space to see, feel, think, and be affected, and the clearer the shape of your skull - the boundary between your body and the world is plain to the eye.
There is copious normative talk about getting hair under control, taming it, and manageability. Not to mention the intersection between this “ladies magazine” demographic and the whitening, straightening, and “conditioning” of textured hair types. It’s an intersection that points at how hair has been a proxy for control and domination, from the home to the colony.
All this to say, it makes a lot of sense that it’s very annoying that your girlfriend is threatening you by stating quite clearly that there are certain people who she is with and those people have long hair, and then there are other people.
Of course, folks say things that they don’t mean. Sometimes they tease you just to get a reaction. Sometimes they just want to feel prioritized and important in your eyes, and they don’t know how to express it.
But, yeah, you know.
You should really just do what you want with your hair. I’m sure your girlfriend will love you no matter what and if she stops loving you then you will have a very clear reason to leave her, and that kind of clarity is a gift to be grateful for.
Love,
Galen
PS: I want to take this opportunity to shout out to all the long-haired butches out there. I love you. You are so fine.
Got a question for Galen? Send it to us and we will include one of you anonymously in the next issue!
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