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Two Boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."
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I used to watch golf on TV but my doctor told me that I need more exercise, so now I watch tennis.
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Manager: "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary."
Applicant: "Well, the work is much harder when you don't know what you're doing!"
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After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"
"Yes," the golfer responded.
"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"
"Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked.
"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down.
So, what are you going to do about it?"
The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
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During our holidays, we trained a duck to lie down on command.
Instead of just serving up your dog’s meals, try feeding him in treat puzzles or Kongs that he gets when you’re not home or when you have a particularly important work meeting to attend from home. This way, your dog will spend half his day retrieving his food and the other half sleeping off the mental effort. The result? A calmer, more content dog and a less chaotic household.
