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Making time without urgency
Time in the beginning of the global pandemic felt mercilessly unending and static. What used to be full Saturdays filled with exercise, farmers markets, friends and weekend trips, turned into hours of watching the clock (Netflix), desperately trying new “hobbies”, and attempting to maintain a semblance of routine.
I don’t know when things shifted, but something about the lack of urgency for...anything changed my coping response from “keep things as routine as possible” to “what’s the rush?” Laundry can be done whenever. The groceries can be bought on Saturday or Tuesday or not at all. The gym no longer has to be traveled to and worked into my schedule - I can roll out of bed and into the weight room. If something doesn’t get done one day, there is no domino effect - the task simply remains undone.
If you’ve been following the newsletter for awhile, or know me at all, you know that I could probably benefit from a healthy dose of “what’s the rush?” It’s true that reducing the urgency in my life has done wonders for my anxiety levels. The stress of scheduling my day around when I had to be somewhere - working around the domino effect of a schedule - has pretty much completely dissipated (at least when it comes to my free time).
I recognize the immense privilege I have to be able to feel this way. My ability to work from home and have errands be simply an inconvenience vs a life or death experience is something I will never again take for granted. The fact that my biggest challenge is that too much time has made me less productive is laughable considering the state of the world - but I also know that acknowledging a shift in your own wellness is essential when considering the energy you have to make a positive change in the world.
So here we are.
This shift is perception around time and urgency has unfortunately meant that many of my creative and community pursuits have gone to the wayside. Writing this newsletter seemed a herculean effort I could simply not undertake. Facetime felt like an investment in terms of energy without any of the in person reward I usually get from catching up with a friend. Taking photos, drawing, cooking - everything I love felt less urgent, and with my new found mantra "what's the rush?" many of these mental health related activities went undone.
I’m in a place now where I am recommitting to making the time for myself and my creative pursuits - again exploring what it feels like to intentionally carve out time in an otherwise unscheduled day to focus on my favorite activities feels like an indulgence in a world where you could use every waking moment of your free time calling or donating or educating yourself, but I know that in order to show up the way I desire to show up, I gotta take care of me first.
Q: How are you intentionally using time these days?
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