|
Our feelings are normal.
“I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.” - Anne Frank
As many of you know it was Holocaust Remembrance Day on Wednesday, January 27, 2021. Now that our news reports are showing more of us getting vaccinated and beginning to feel more hopeful, I thought this quote from Anne Frank was very appropriate. Reading Anne Frank’s story and visiting the home where she was trapped in Amsterdam many years ago, made strong impressions on me. As they have on many. Anne wrote of her thoughts and feelings from age 13 to 15 in her diary, that has been published in 65 languages. Many of us read Anne’s diary in school, as children still do today. Her ability to find hope in such a difficult time is inspirational. She wrote about one of the most horrific periods in history, but she was able to tell her personal story in a timeless way. She makes an important point, that hope is essential to coping despite adversity - like our current pandemic.
Remaining hopeful is important with the difficulties that we continue to face. The pandemic has gone on for a long time and we have a right to feel exhausted. However, it may be helpful to focus on the beauty that still occurs in our lives. As I have been walking our two dogs each morning for the past few weeks, I have noticed new buds on the trees. I am not sure if I paid much attention to tree buds before, but it somehow makes me hopeful about Spring which is just around the corner. These morning walks used to be a chore for me but re-focusing on the beauty of nature they have become something I really look forward to these days.
I think the arrival of vaccines is helping people to feel more hopeful about the future. Certainly I am.
We all look forward to the day that there are enough for everyone to become vaccinated. At UC Davis Health we have a very high level of vaccination and are achieving herd immunity in our own workplace bubble. After almost a year dealing with Covid-19 it is good to be hopeful, despite the extra uncertainty, fear, inconvenience and loss of control that has entered our lives through the pandemic.
Also, it may help to re-visit the normal emotional responses that occur following any disaster, to remind us of why we feel as we do at this time. Many of you will have seen a variation of the chart below:
The chart (above) describes the typical pattern of the emotional responses seen in most people following major disasters like the pandemic, from lows to highs, over the first eighteen months or so. It describes six phases - Pre-disaster, Impact, Heroic, Honeymoon, Disillusionment and Reconstruction. As you can see, we are now at the disillusionment phase, trying to hope for a new beginning with vaccinations and continuing public health measures, but not yet there.
What are the normal emotional reactions that most of us have during this disillusionment phase, when we are just starting to become hopeful? That I have, and that many of you have. These are normal responses that we must learn to manage and will occur, even in this setting of greater hope.
Cynicism, frustration, fatigue, a sense of loss, exhaustion.
These may be accompanied by feelings of disappointment, anger, resentment and bitterness.
Our emotional responses are driven by our understanding of the reality of our losses and the limits of available assistance. And they may be associated with a loss of “shared community” as we tend to concentrate on protecting our individual lives, rather than pulling together. This is where our psychological projection onto others – blaming others – comes in.
Let us focus on solutions for the normal emotional responses mentioned above, as we move through this disillusionment phase and manage them as effectively as possible. Remember, it is important to take care of yourself with healthy nutrition, enough sleep and regular exercise. There are a large number of resources available on the Clinician Health and Wellbeing website and many past issues of Good Stuff newsletter have included tips and strategies.
Here are some of my core coping suggestions for now:
- Remember that your current mixed emotional responses of hope and irritation are likely normal and shared by many others – they will pass.
- We are resilient. Use the coping strategies that you know from experience help you most – exercise, hobbies, chocolates or socializing at a distance.
- Do not project distress or anger onto others. If you find yourself getting angry or frustrated with someone, take a short time out. Do not send the angry email. Do not “reply to all” in haste.
If you are feeling hostile in a group setting, keep quiet and discuss your concerns privately later. Try to collaborate. Others may feel the same as you.
- Constantly put yourselves in the shoes of others and practice gratitude – remember the equation “Empathy plus action = compassion”
“I’ve found that there is always some beauty left ,,,in nature, sunshine, freedom, in yourself” - Anne Frank 1940
|
