Hey friends,
Last week, I published my latest long-form post, The Staircase of the Self. Building a coherent model of the self was a challenge, but I’m glad I took the time to delve into it deeply. After all, the sense of self is at the center of everything we do, so understanding its presence goes a long way in knowing who we are.
While creating the post, I often found myself thinking about another important topic:
The nature of conflict.
Simply put, conflict and identity are inseparable. Any attachment to identity results in the fear of losing it, and this makes us hostile to anyone that doesn’t think like we do. This hostility hardens our beliefs, enshrines them as truths, and turns dissenters into enemies.
In today’s connected world, we often fight fire with kerosene. The instantaneous nature of feedback loops aren’t conducive to thoughtful responses, so we are quick to respond to anger with more anger. The flames of outrage are further fueled by the words of mockery, and the cycle continues.
The only way to quell this blaze is by introducing an entirely different force, and today’s short post reminds us of why we need to cultivate it:
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A Book I've Been Enjoying
How to Love by Thich Nhat Hanh — This book is the source of today's post, and is a short yet poignant look into the nature of love. The Zen Buddhist teacher reminds us that love is often fueled by the ego, but by observing it closely, we can learn what it means to love without expectation.
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Compassion is the ability to recognize that one person's suffering is connected to everyone else's.
Kindness is the ability to act upon that insight.
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A Thought I've Been Pondering
Being kind to those you disagree with is often interpreted as a sign of weakness. That it’s a sign of “giving in” to the enemy, and that you didn’t stand up for yourself properly.
But in reality, kindness is an emblem of courage. It’s the ability to open yourself up to “the other,” to hear their words with clarity, and to have the intention of engaging in dialogue. This requires much more resilience than an impulsive, angry outburst.
Courage is about doing difficult things in the face of difficult situations. If kindness toward an adversary doesn’t fit that description, then what does?
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A Brief Parting Question
How do you think we can cultivate compassion in the face of opposition? Do you think this would be possible at a large scale, or are we doomed to fall into the age-old cycle of anger for the long haul?
I wonder if the lessons of history are our only guides here, or if there’s some way we could transcend our primitive impulses en masse. Curious to know what you think.
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As always, hit reply to share any thoughts, to respond to the parting question, or to simply say hello. I love hearing from you.
Thanks for reading, and enjoy the rest of your week!
-Lawrence
P.S. Thanks to Aisha and ZR for adding your support on Patreon! I recorded an AMA for supporters last week, and had a lot of fun doing so (here are the 12 questions I answered). Become a part of the patron community to take a listen, and to get access to a bunch of other exclusive reflections as well.
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