Reflections from Donna Gray, Paul Paquette, Jac Conaway, Suzi Foizer and Beth Hedquist
By Donna Gray
As I was preparing this tribute to the late IPF Board President Catherine Karas, I thought of The Dash, a poem that I’ve heard read at funerals.
THE DASH by Linda Ellis
I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.
To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile… remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.
So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?
Catherine’s dates were June 17, 1944 – January 26, 2021, and she did a lot of living in her dash. She was born Catherine “Cathy” Cianci in Newark, NJ, and then raised in Mountain Lakes, NJ. A top student, she attended Columbia University, where she earned a BA in Physical Therapy, an MA in Psychology, and an MEd in Counseling, all of which she put to good use in service to others.
She met Dimitri Karas, the love of her life, in 1977 and married him in 1979. Their daughter Christina was born in 1982. They lived in New York and the suburb of Montclair, NJ before falling in love with California during a stay in Tiberon. Catherine and Dimitri retired to Laguna Woods, California, where they enjoyed the relaxed lifestyle with a close-knit circle of cherished friends.
Catherine Karas touched so many lives during her more than 40 years in the Pathwork. What follows will be personal recollections and photos from the current Foundation trustees Paul Paquette, Jac Conaway, Suzi Foizer, and myself. Also included here is a reflection from Beth Hedquist, who has been attending our monthly Zoom meetings. For next month’s newsletter, I would like to extend an invitation to anyone else that would to share a memory of Catherine.
Alan Saly is a member of the Board of Directors in the New York Pathwork, USA and is the Pathwork Press Committee Chair. Aimee Falchuk MPH, M. ED, CCEP is in private practice and is the founder of The Falchuk Group and Core Boston.
Poetry Corner
Making Life Less Lifeless By Lorne Oullet
Pathwork Helper from Montreal,Canada
Life infuses everything where it can find an opening...
Can you be that opening right now...
It’s not all about what we do….. but what we open up to….
Its not all about the out there then…. But the in here now…
Every moment there’s a now that needs attending to…
Peace and release lie on the other side
of what we’re going through….
Attending to… whatever’s true…
inside me and you…
That's what we’ve come here to do.
Even if the present is unpleasant….
Can we feel it anyway…
Even when the pangs of pain are pinging….
Can we remain the inner opening…
Even in the face of absence and lack…
Can we keep our vigor toward life intact…
Can we break the habit of breaking away…
turning away… steeling away….
When life doesn’t go our way….
Can we do away with all the aways
that take us away from ourselves….
Now is for the taking
Not for the forsaking...
Can we take what has to be taken
Without taking leave…
The most important thing;
Maintain the inner opening…
Whatever now may bring….
We are the opening……
No matter the outer conditions….
No matter your inner afflictions…
Something inside refuses to die…
When we choose to stay open wide…
Assimilation of our now thins the wall
between self and wherewithal…
The great alchemy takes place when we no longer flinch from what exists….
for the nature of now changes once we say yes to it….
The willingness to yield… is a vital inner movement….
out of which…. all good flows….
For a life less lifeless…. is priceless…
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in her dash. She was born Catherine “Cathy” Cianci in Newark, NJ, and then raised in Mountain Lakes, NJ. A top student, she attended Columbia University, where she earned a BA in Physical Therapy, an MA in Psychology, and an MEd in Counseling, all of which she put to good use in service to others.
