Scaling Databases in 2021

This advice is about Postgres, but the same stuff holds true for SQL Server, too. Don't go wild and crazy with the scale-out initially.

Updating Ola's Scripts

How to update 'em. And you should, because there were a lot of fixes last year.

Guessing Row Estimates

How SQL Server does it when you don't have statistics.

SELECT wat

This demo is about Postgres, but someone should do something similar with SQL Server, because it's hilarious.

Washing Helicopters

Why anti-submarine warfare helicopters need frequent washing.

Teambuilding Over Zoom

No, seriously, hear me out: TeamClass.com offers kits for wine tasting, cupcake-making, pizza-baking, and more. Related: XKCD is planning a trash compactor party.

The Deal with Gamestop

If you've been hearing about the stock going crazy, here's what happened.