What: Self-care is the action we take with mindset, activities, practices, and habits we bring to bear against stress, unhappiness, illness, depression, and many more negative emotions.
Self-care is about giving ourselves relief and balance when we feel overwhelmed. It is about addressing our problems holistically. Self-care activities are usually carried out, or at least initiated by, the person themselves. To care for yourself, you need to know your needs and seek them out. What makes you thrive? Not just survive…ask yourself these questions.
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What’s working?
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What’s not working? (are you settling for things?)
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What changes do I need to make? (brainstorm)
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What would the ideal outcome be? What would that look like?
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What are you willing to give up?
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What is non-negotiable?
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Who may I need for support?
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How may I need support?
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Where do I need to ask for support?
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How will I stay accountable?
Why Is Self-Care Important?
Of course, it’s been easier said than done. Us moms, for example, are notorious for putting our families' needs ahead of our own. But how can one truly take really good care of others if they don’t take care of themselves?
In fact, the first mention of self-care goes back as far as the Egyptians, where they discussed self-care ideas like using specific oils to improve moods and fight ailments (aka essential oils, and I have a lot of them for certain things!)
Finding Balance without the guilt.
The first thing to remember about self-care is that it is not indulgent. I see this in so many who have that “parent guilt.” They are at work most of the day, and then they want to crash on the couch with their families or “check out” on their screens. They forget how we are models for our children. Our children (no matter the age) are sponges! The importance of self-care needs to be instilled in ourselves and our children. We are living in a world that now is battling obesity and overweight rate of over 80% for men and 70% for women! And millions of children are obese! So where are we falling short here? In my opinion (and I’m sure some other healthcare professionals.)
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Fitness- We don’t make this a priority. We consider it a luxury, or an extra, or less important than paying for those online movies. No one needs to be an ultra runner here, but one does need to take the recommendations of 6 days a week of cardiovascular exercises for at least 30 minutes. As well as 3x a week a full body strengthening program. This combination is most ideal to remain, heart-healthy, as well as physically, mentally, and overall body wellness.
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Nutrition- WE ARE STARVING!!!! Yet obese?! Yes.. most American’s for example consume products that are full of chemicals and lack any nutrition content. Therefore, we keep eating, and eating, and eating. I strongly recommend looking into the Whole Foods Nutrition plan… its nutrient-dense structure starves off cancers, diseases, and diabetes.
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Mental Health- We are walking around burnt out, unbalanced, malnutritioned, and just downright miserable! We work and work at jobs we hate, we give up on dreams, and we find excuses in the process. And most of the time, the why...is because it’s easier. We’d rather stay miserable than wake up 20 minutes earlier to get a little meditation, fitness, and nutrition in. We make excuses for ourselves, our children, and we end up looking the other way. We sadly settled.
“If you don’t change something, nothing will change!”
I can say, I’m with you on some of this. I am not perfect, yet I am here to help and share my experiences. So I say, take the chance. Take the leap (and I do mean leap, yes little changes can reap big rewards but if you are inpatient like I am … I say leap don’t just hop). Make big changes if you are really far off. You will see benefits quicker and be more motivated to keep going. But again, little changes are great for success too. Especially if you have patience. So what does this look like?
Nutrition Examples:
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Drink a gallon of water daily
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Eat a large salad with light dressing daily
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Include a nutritious smoothie daily
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Or go all out. Get a nutritionist, get help, get yourself and your family on a healthy schedule. Only buy healthy things, if you have unhealthy options in the house, you will eat them!
Exercise Examples:
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Instead of crashing on the couch as a family to watch a movie, do a yoga session together.
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Consider forest bathing. A fancy word for walking in the woods. Getting outdoors daily no matter the weather has been proven to aid in all sorts of mind, body, and soul care.
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Play a game! Get off the screens and do something like a scavenger hunt around the house. Get up get moving!
Getting back to your own self-care...One could simplify the categories by the following:
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Emotional
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Mental
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Physical
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Pleasure
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Sensory
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Social
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Spiritual
Taking each of these categories, consider making 3 goals for each. Then working backward. 3 overall big yearly goals for these categories, 3 monthly goals, 3 weekly goals, and 3 daily goals. If you missed it, we have several goal-setting methods, how to best execute goals, and define them in our previous blog posts.
You can do this as a family as well. Sit down for a goal-setting session. Create your own then create some as a family. Post them on the fridge and more. Be sure to carve out that self-care time for each individual. For example, hot epsom salt baths are wonderful. They help relax you, detox you and offer a time for meditation to further prepare you for the next day. Give each family member a 20-minute session to do their bath on a given day!
Finally, we’ve said it before, creating healthy habits is key. You can find more tips on creating healthy habits here.
