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We opened the phones and talked about aging, live on the radio. We heard from a lot of people with a range of experiences. Paul talked about how good it has felt to take a walk outside. Lin struggles with isolation and chronic pain and is tired of being told to focus on a positive mental attitude. John talked about wanting to connect with others after the radio special was over.
In our podcast feed this week, we’re sharing highlights from the national call-in we did over the radio with you. My co-host Jo Ann Allen and I also got to talk about our Death, Sex & Money episode collaboration with Noel King on Morning Edition on NPR last week. It was a really fun conversation.
It just felt so good to talk to people. To be honest, I had a little post-live show despair afterward. It reminded me how much I am fed by talking to people, and how worn down I am by not being able to gather together. And then, I randomly got a call over the weekend from an old friend, one who I haven’t talked to in a long time. Like me, he has little kids, so after I picked up the phone it wasn’t long before we had to stop and nail down a time when both of us could steal a little alone time to catch up. And then we did, and it felt amazing to feel connected. I asked him what prompted the call, and he said that starting a few weeks ago he made a rule for himself that whenever he thought of someone, he had to call them. He’s an extrovert and he’d realized this is something he needs to do. And, when he makes random calls to old friends, he told me, he was pleasantly surprised at how many people pick up.
So, I told him I was going to copy his idea. And you know what? It’s true. Calling people to just talk—it’s really nice! Try it! And if you need a little more inspiration, I hope the episode this week reminds you how sweet a phone conversation can be.
—Anna and the Death, Sex & Money team
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This Week on Death, Sex & Money
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Last week, we opened up the phones to talk with listeners over 60 about life today. We heard from people across the country about big changes and small ones; loneliness and the joys that solitude and independence can bring; and why there are as many ways to experience aging as there are people doing it. In your feeds today are some of the highlights from our national call-in special, co-hosted by Colorado Public Radio's Jo Ann Allen.
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Your Stories: More Reflections On Life Over 60
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After our call-in ended last week, we heard from even more listeners over 60 in our inbox. Here's just a bit of what you told us:
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"Jo Ann Allen's comments about possible future living arrangements struck me as particularly pertinent. I am still married to my husband of almost 48 years, but I wonder what life will be like if I find myself a widow. One of us will die at some point, and there will be a remaining spouse.
I've been discussing living arrangements with two good single women friends who are dealing with health issues. These are tough decisions. One is more willing to move into new digs than the other. The latter loves her view of NYC from her Jersey condo, even though her hallway barely accommodates her wheelchair.
I don't want to be marooned in my own apartment, being nervous about driving, and getting out and about. But I like my privacy and my cat. The cost of housing in an elder community can be pricey here in the NYC metro area. So I just wonder about it and figure things will unfold in some way that I'll have a roof over my head.
How did Simon & Garfunkel know when they were so young that it is certainly strange being 70? Because it is."
—Marie Ellen, 71, North Bergen, NJ
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"I am physically active, and my chief love is bicycling. Pre-pandemic, I would typically bike 4-5,000 miles per year. I usually bike around 100 miles on weekends and I commuted 14 miles round trip until retiring two years ago, at which time I started riding a few days during the week. I enjoy the camaraderie of event rides that are held for a cause. For the last 10-15 years, I have taken a few one or two week-long bike trips, domestic and international.
I find that as I get older, I need to be more mindful of my body. I've learned that it is essential to do some stretching and strengthening exercises and use some weights a couple times each week to keep from injuring myself through muscle strain. I also swim a few days each week. I really miss the social engagement of the Jewish Community Center where I’d see people daily, a lot of them around my age and involved in various fitness activities.
I have arthritis in both thumbs, have had knee issues, wear support hose for ankle swelling and have had pre-cancerous skin removed from my face. I have broken my arm, collarbone, and thumb in various bike accidents, but the doctor said that those are healable, and much preferable to chronic heart or diabetes issues from being sedentary.
Around age 50, I was able to cycle more and started growing stronger year by year. How long can I keep going? I expect I will start slowing down some time in the next decade, but I ride with a friend who is 71 who is not slowing down yet. So who knows?"
—Barb, Pittsburgh, PA
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Listen to This: Audio We Love
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The online business news outlet Marker recently published a long piece about Ample Hills—the beloved Brooklyn-based ice cream chain that filed for bankruptcy last March. The article also mentioned As The Ice Cream Churns, a podcast made by Brian Smith and Jackie Cuscuna, the couple behind the scoop shops, about having to sell their business and what comes next. “There’s a lot of baggage that comes from the experience of having gone through the business’s bankruptcy before we can get to the point of starting over,” says co-founder Brian Smith in episode 7, which is about the couple's personal finance woes. “It’s not as easy as saying ‘go.’”
Last week, the team at Reply All released the first episode of their 4-part series “The Test Kitchen,” which shares the experiences of people of color who worked at Bon Appétit over the last decade. Many of the microaggressions and forms of systemic racism in that workplace were reported on over the summer, but the first chapter of the series goes back to 2010, when Conde Nast began rebranding the magazine into what it’s now known for. Reporter Sruthi Pinnamaneni talks with chefs and food writers like Yewande Komolafe, Sue Li, and Rick Martinez about those early days and the subtly painful and overtly racist slights they faced. Their stories will resonate with any person of color who’s struggled in a workplace that didn’t support or foster them, and are a must-listen.
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"Death, Sex & Money has kept me going for some time now. COVID can be too much sometimes."
—Reyna, Texas
Join Reyna and support our work at Death, Sex & Money!
Give now at deathsexmoney.org/donate.
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Want more conversations about life over 60?
Check out all of our aging series at deathsexmoney.org/aging.
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