On my mind this week:
My son was climbing on a really difficult climbing frame at the park. It was high up for him with ropes and wooden planks. He looked at me in fear wobbling a bit as each foot tried to wheedle it's way into position. "Ah, ah you need to help!" he said as I stood next to him. "You don't need me, trust yourself." I found myself saying back to him. The words like puzzle pieces clicking into place, lodging themselves inside my head. Trust yourself. While I watched he squared his shoulders almost imperceptibly and crossed over to the next rung. Watching him I was left with this residual feeling of recognition. Often I don't trust myself, especially in physically challenging situations. I'm terrified of heights. Scared of tumbling or falling. My limbs are gangly and often I really just don't know what to do with them. I've found myself getting injured in strange ways and wondering why. Breaking my arm doing a karate kick at a sleep over, crashing my bike into the neighbours yard, falling on my face while running and ending up with some serious dental surgery to combat or freezing high up on a rock at a swimming hole while a crowd gathered to laugh at the grown woman too scared to jump in. As adults I think we rarely put ourselves in physically challenging situations like we ask our kids to do all the time. So I made a decision. Last weekend I went surfing.
Just in case you are having visions of me as some kind of surf board aficionado I’m terrible. So terrible that I often end up dragged along the ocean floor, hair in my face, salt water up my nose. But the joy I felt was tremendous. Humans are designed I think to be constantly stretching our brains and trying new things. We hired boards for the day from the local surf shop. Giant, foam beginner boards that we quickly discovered were far too big to fit into our car so my very wonderful pal Kate and I lugged them the 20 minute walk to the beach while wearing thick wetsuits and snort laughing as the boards banged into our legs. We got to the gate of the caravan park and flailed about helplessly trying to get our boards through the gate. Just as we finally managed to cram ourselves and our ridiculous boards through a bloke pulled up in a golf buggy and promptly told us we weren’t allowed in the caravan park and could we kindly leave and walk the long way round. My expression must have been so exasperated that all of a sudden Bruce walked straight over, tied our boards to his buggy roof and drove us through the park waving at all his mates sinking beers outside their campsites. " Alright there Brucy?" one chap said with a rye smile. I could not stop laughing the entire way. Thanks to Bruce we arrived on the sand and promptly Youtubed a video about surfing, had a go on the sand and then launched ourselves into the water.
What followed was a lot of guffawing, drinking of ocean water, waiting for waves and attempted board lunging. In the end we collapsed on our towels, exhausted, sandy and down right proud of ourselves.
As I’ve said to my 5 year old while he is learning to read, nothing is gained from not trying or worrying about looking silly. The only way we learn is to fall flat on our face, get up and have another go. And possibly find a good aussie bloke called Bruce who owns a caravan park. Just in case your questioning my feminism we carried them all the way back ourselves which I reckon is arguably harder to manage. It was uphill. As is adulthood. Every god damn day.
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Something to listen to:
A wonderful pal recommended this episode of Dax Shephard’s Armchair Expert with Adam Grant to me and I loved it. I don’t always love his show and tend to pop in and out but when he nails an interview with someone I learn so much. Adam is an organizational psychologist, professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and TED speaker. Adam discusses how to open people’s minds, the psychology of maximizing and satisficing, and the advantages of imposter syndrome. Adam weighs in on a disagreement between Dax & Monica, explains the dangers of desirability bias, and the different modes of thinking: preacher, prosecutor, and politician. My biggest take away from Adam was to stay humble and curious rather than close minded and defensive. His new book Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know is now on my reading list.
This week on Suggestible podcast James (husband man) and I have a chat about this episode and a deep dive into maximising versus satisficing. James gave me some insights into what he thinks I am (!!) and we talk through what happens when you apply this way of thinking to relationships.
Something to watch:
This is a piece of nostalgic YouTube gold that I think cements my love for the Australian singer Tina Arena. She sings a rendition of her old school classic ‘Chains’ with Jessica Malboy and the Veronicas and boy is it something. Say what you will about Tina Arena this is my favourite performance. Yes please and thank you. It makes me want to sing into the mirror with my hairbrush. I mean the power move of a seasoned performer when she strides out. Goosebumps! The power shoulder pads, the black jumpsuit, the strut. Perfection. Mate if you ever need to pump yourself up before a hard thing (and isn’t life mostly hard?). This is the performance to watch. This was in a way a comeback performance for a kick arse woman at the top of her game at 48 and I am here for it.
Something to cook:
This week the weather has turned so I thought I'd share one of the easiest desserts for when you have people over that is invariably a winner, especially when it's a little cooler outside.
Orange Madeira Cake
Ingredients:
One store bought madeira cake log cut into 2cm slices (for some reason it works better with store bought not to mention less time! What a thrill.)
Olive Oil
Fruit (works best with 2 segmented oranges, a punnet of strawberries and a cup of grapes)
Whipped cream (sweetened with a little caster sugar) or you can use greek yogurt
Method:
Make fruit salad and squeeze over orange juice. Let it sit in the fridge.
Now for the fun bit. Brush each slice of cake with olive oil using a pastry brush on both sides. Heat a fry pan or pop under a grill and toast on both sides until golden and crispy.
Serve with a good dollop of cream, a generous spoonful of fruit and a drizzle of juice.
Eat immediately.
Until next week friend. What a joy to write to you and I'm wishing you a really great week. If you do try something new this week or have suggestions for things you would like me to add in to the newsletter I'd love to hear from you! You can drop me a line at tontspod@gmail.com
Lots of love,
Tonts x
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I would like to acknowledge the Traditional Owners of the land on which I write today, the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation, and pay my respect to their Elders past, present and emerging.
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