Judy Lipson's Newsletter for Transformation
Finding Your Light to Remember and Become Who You Really Are
APRIL IS AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH
Read the Q&A and Tips and Resources sections
to learn more about autism.
TRANSFORMATION - COMING OUT OF SANCTUARY
I talk to a lot of people - friends, colleagues, and clients - and I watch the patterns of conversation. Over the last few months we have talked a lot about the shift away from social isolation (but maintaining masks, hygiene, and proper distancing as recommended by the CDC) and finding ease in returning to a more active way of life. Initially, these conversations were to provide preparation for when that time would come.
Recently, more adults have received their COVID-19 vaccines and students and staff have returned to school. These conversations have now taken on more of a timely need and an urgency.
Not surprisingly, a number of people are delighted to return to activities and events that are more reminiscent of times pre-pandemic. But others are finding that they are not sure how to make the shift from this new routine, and have even expressed that they have felt quite comfortable with some or many aspects of the life that they have experienced over this last year.
The accompanying article, Coming Out of Sanctuary, is written for this latter group. If you are one of these people who looks back at this last year with a partial or complete thought of please don't mess with me now! then this article is for you. If you have always (or are now) struggling with anxiety and social anxiety, this is for you. If you don't resonate with this concept personally, I still encourage you to read it so you can better understand your students, your colleagues, and your family members. I've also included some tips to help them to venture out.
Before or after reading this month's article have a chuckle as you better understand the reluctant participants in your life, as cleverly demonstrated in this cute video by The Holderness Family.
Read:
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QUESTIONS & COMMENTS
Q: My child is very sound sensitive. Shouldn’t I teach them to live in the real world?
A: If an autistic person (or any neuro-sensitive individual) tells you that sounds are stressing them, don’t tell them that they are being too sensitive. And please don’t try to de-sensitize them to the sound, thinking they will get used to it. They won’t. Rather, it will hurt their body and make them feel ashamed of how they are wired.
Instead, give them accommodations – If not being exposed to the sound is not possible, then consider ear defenders (many autistic people recommend Vibes brand), noise cancelling headphones, or access to volume control.
Doing this will not “spoil” the autistic person or “enable” them. It will “empower” them to learn how to exist in the world without so much unpleasant stimuli. It gives them access to tools, just like when we provide eye glasses, hearing aids, or crutches.
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Q: My daughter has a lot of the characteristics of autism spectrum, but has not received an ASD diagnosis. I don't understand.
Q: It has been suggested that my daughter has autism, but she doesn't look or act like the boys that I know with autism. What is really true?
A: Professionals are beginning to recognize that girls (cisgender females) and boys (cisgender males) on the spectrum don't present the same. In fact, it's not uncommon for girls to be missed because of certain characteristics that are not the same as the boys'. Some think that it is important to have an assessment by a professional who has specific training for assessing females. Here are some of the differences that I have read about:
Girls tend to make and maintain better eye contact. They may hide their symptoms or put more time and energy into learning social norms. Girls may have more self-awareness, a better ability to mimic what they see, and be more conscious of “fitting in” socially. This can mean that they are able to hide the symptoms of autism in childhood. Autistic girls are also more likely to be able to form friendships than autistic boys. This can mask autism, because many people see difficulty socializing as one of the key symptoms. As girls get older and social norms and friendships become more complex, they may find it harder to relate to others. This can mean that they may not receive a diagnosis of autism until their teenage or adult years.
For more on this topic, I recommend reading Why Do Many Autistic Girls Go Undiagnosed?
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QUOTES
You don’t have to be wrong for me to be right.
Rabbi Brad Hirschfield
Remember: it is our differences that make all the difference.
Source unknown
Silence actually teaches us to listen... to listen to the voice within us...to listen to ourselves...to listen to one another.
Chris Heuertz
Through judging we separate, through understanding we grow.
Doe Zantamata
May you be surrounded by family and friends all your life. But if this is not your lot, may the blessing find you in your solitude.
Leonard Cohen
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COMMUNITY EVENTS
Pathway to Hope 2021 Resource Guide offered by Healing Complex Kids. The first 4000 copies ordered with an Oakland County zip code are free due to a generous grant! If you are not in Oakland County, or are after the 4000, then they are $9.97 + $5 for shipping and handling.
Apr 15, 6-7pm: Insights From a Late Autism Diagnosis, presented by Tracey Cohen, a woman diagnosed with autism at the age of 39. She shares what she has learned and how she uses her new insight to improve her life and to try to help others on the spectrum as well as their families, friends, and the community at large. Oakland University Center for Autism. (And three other virtual seminars 4/2, 4/8, 4/22; free)
May 11, 2021, 7:00pm: Film - The Influencer Opening the Doors' 25th anniversary celebration; virtual
May 14, 2021: MCA (Michigan Counseling Association) virtual conference
Nov 10, 11, 12, 2021: MASSW 2021 Conference, at Grand Traverse Resort and Spa
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TIPS AND RESOURCES
UNDERSTAND AUTISM
Why Autistic Kids and Adults Develop Intense Fears and Phobias. Great article including descriptive photos and scenarios. I encourage you to click on the additional links in this article, especially the video on Emotional Blindness (Alexithymia). It's explanatory, in a really engaging way!
Here's another great article on Alexithymia by Yo Samdy Sam (the person who developed the Emotional Blindness video in the above resource). Check out her video, then consider viewing more of her videos. They are quite informative in a very accessible way.
Check out information about local author and motivational speaker Tracey Cohen, who was not diagnosed with autism until age 39. (See the second Q&A about the differences for ASD in guys and gals.) Scroll down to the bottom of her GrowingUpAutistic.com site to view an interview about her book.
It's sometimes hard to find social resources for adults with ASD. Check out OUCares (child and adolescent programming too), Full Spectrum Agency for Autistic Adults (just learned about this resource from the aforementioned Tracey Cohen who will facilitate a social skills program in the future), Living and Learning Center in Northville. I am always interested in learning about more programs, so please share them with me so that I can include them in a future newsletter.
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Judy Lipson, M.A.
Licensed Professional Counselor
Judy is a Licensed Professional Counselor who supports Sensitives of all ages - including ADHD, Anxiety, and Autism - in life, work and school. She can also help you Remember and Become Who You Really Are. Judy offers Transformational Counseling, Educational Consultations, and Academic Strategies. Presentations and Workshops also available.
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Parenting on the Go - Sensitives
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"Thank you for such a beautiful message here in the new year."
- S.S.
"Just wanted you to know how much I enjoy your newsy-letters and this one in particular. Such upbeat, gracious, sweet advice. Hoping you are well, happy, and staying safe. With appreciation for all you have done, all you continue to do, and all that you share with all of us."
- Terri S
"It worked!!! I have had numerous moments to test the outcome of the work that we did. It’s amazing. You are amazing. I hear everything. I care about it. I don’t have an emotional attachment to it. Before I saw you last week, I did not know that this was an option. Thank you so much."
– Elli A
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Thank you so much. Best meeting we've had all year! The message was perfect and timely.
- Cindy H and Debbie B
I purchased your CD at an ADHD conference several (many?) years ago when my kids were in school. I had never tried using a relaxation CD before I purchased it and I absolutely loved listening to it. The device I had been using to listen to it died and I could not find my original CD. I am so glad that I could get another one! Thank you for making that CD. It has helped me get through some really tough times in my life.
- T.B.
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