Dearest <<Preferred Name>>
It's been a minute! I've missed writing to you.
Si we just imagine this is the first week of March (which will make this February letter on time, yeah?😂). And then let's get comfy and go in, a cup in hand of course but only if you like. I travelled to Nairobi so I am writing to you from my favourite place with a bottle of water in hand.
Is how? How is?
Is good on this side! February was beautiful. My baby bro finally walked and I got to see the first steps on video call - highlight of my month! It was full of romancing too! From other people and places but I'm most happy about the self-romancing. Eyy🔥 even did a whole self portrait sesh in a moment when I felt absolutely in love with all that I am and becoming!
On therapy, we've been doing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. At first I was sceptical, "why don't we just dive into trauma healing or something because what does it matter that I am not as good a slave to capitalism as I should be?" 🙃, but with the improvement of my productivity has come less panic attacks, better boundary-making & keeping and more fulfilment. It has been so helpful that lessons 3-6 are straight from my sessions. Enjoy!
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One from the self-portrait sesh, featuring February's favourite read.
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1. The body remembers
The body is like the south, it remembers! (Not me making GOT parallels in 2021😂) I first noticed this through how taut my shoulders got when I was stressed or how tight my stomach when I was anxious. I'm getting better at knowing where past feelings such as shame, trauma, responsibility are stored in my body. This realisation is helping me listen and heal my body better. Which leads me to the next point move your body!
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2. Movement will heal you
I moved the most I have this year in February. It started with this Nike Run Club 100km in February challenge; even though I ended up doing 50kmish, the walks in the park healed me, mind, body and soul, (also the way London parks smell in spring is just 🥰). I also had more personal dance parties than I can count. I even joined an Afrocontigbo dance class with Uncle Ginga - highly recommend! Definitely keeping this as a healing practice and when we finally can, I really wanna enrol for Kizomba.
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3. You'll be wrong
About everything and anything: people, ideas, plans... So maybe don't be too sure 🙃 but also adjust when your stance changes. I used to think that going back on something I used to believe, think or say strongly was a bad thing because inconsistency and all but, I am learning to embrace this as evolution. And nowadays I give things time. I was wrong about London for example, here's my four-month review, if you are curious.
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4. Find your routine
As a free creative spirit I used to think of routines as too restrictive but I was wrong. My therapist helped me find and stick to a suitable bed time and it has been empowering. I also realised that it wasn't creativity or workflow keeping me up at 3am but my procrastination anxiety and midnight-scrolling. Anyway, I am a routine convert now and I encourage you to find YOUR own (not Robin Sharma's 😂) and see if it works!
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5. Pace yourself
Another thing my therapist helped me do! Funny enough one of you responded to my emails telling me not to bite more than I can chew, which I think is the first step of pacing yourself. The next step is breaking things down and chewing one at a time. Doing this with my schoolwork is really tough because procrastination on fleek😂 but it saves me so much stress and anxiety therefore, I am committing to it and doing better.
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6. Treat yourself through it not after
When planning my workday I used to only write down my work tasks, but my therapist encouraged me to include the treats too. So now my to-do-list has: watch an episode of 'Parks & Recs', online shop, walk in the park etc. This has helped me take the treats as seriously as I do my work or vice versa 🤪.
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7. Go for beytter!
I'm exclaiming again, haha! So last month I went on and on about how we have options and deserve better. Now, God gave me opportunities to actually implement and yeah easier said than done. But I am learning to make the difficult conscious decision to actually go for what's good for me. Especially because there are a lot of things masquerading as better but only in the short term so here's to going for the real beytter!
P.S: Spelling it like that because of my favourite reel by a South African which I can't find😪.
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And that's it for February.
I've got a birthmonth ask! Would you please share a valuable life lesson with me? I plan to share lessons from you for March's newsletter. I think it will be great plus it's still my birthday (it's a whole month ting😜) and I am asking nicely. Sawa.
Looking forward to reading from you!
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A human recommended this and I couldn't stop vibing to it so henjoy!
Afroswing, grime etc are still growing on me but I'm enjoying the exploration journey.
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As another birthday gift 🙃 you may send me a song rec with your lesson.
Thanks in advance😊
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Sending Light & Goodness,
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