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Make Friends with Time



"Beware the barrenness of a busy life." --Socrates
 
 “Without great solitude no serious work is possible." --Pablo Picasso
 
 

Making peace with Daylight Savings

This year I decided not to fight Daylight Savings Time. Instead of resenting that an hour has been stolen, I will pay more attention to how much energy I have.
 
 

Energy, not time


Paying attention to energy takes me to the idea of chronotypes….you know, the way we have natural times when we are more energetic, alert, and sleepy. Think early birds, humming birds and night owls. Which are you? I find that the older I get, the more of an early bird I become, even though earlier in my life I was quite a night owl. Apparently this is common.
 
For all of us there are peaks and dips and energy recovery periods during the day. When we match our activity with our energy we are both productive and happy. No surprise, analytic, focused work is best done during energy peaks. Administrative work, including reading and responding to emails can be done during energy dips. Creative work fits well with recovery periods, when we are coming back from a natural dip in energy…even a nap. (If you’re not sure which chronotype you are, look up chronotype quiz. There are many…free…some sorting people into different animals, dolphin, lion, bear and wolf. Ha!)
 

Pandemic Impact

In our culture there is a sense that doing more and more and more is admirable. Being busy is almost a badge. And being over-busy, to the point of overwhelm or burnout is common. We have somehow missed Socrates’ warning about the barrenness of an over-busy life.
 
However, the pandemic slammed us all, recalibrating all our relationships with time.
 
Many young parents are juggling MORE than ever, with less control over how they match their energy with the endless tasks at hand. Their energy has been overstretched.
 
Many older people, including me, have quietly enjoyed the slowed pace of life.  We’ve had more time to reflect, wonder, and let go of things we don’t want to do anymore. We are recognizing the importance of rest and deep relaxation that restores energy. We have discovered the gift of stillness.
 

Space for Kairos

As we creep toward a new normal, I’m hoping we can hold onto some of what is good in this strange pandemic life. Perhaps a new respect for spaces in our life, slowing down, less productivity will allow us to have more Kairos moments.
 
The Greeks have two words for time: chronos, which is quantitative and kairos, which is qualitative. Kairos is sometimes called “deep time.” It leans toward the spiritual. Kairos describes those memorable moments where the world seems to stop entirely. The occasion may be huge or tiny. We give birth, hold the hand of a dying loved one, share a spontaneous laugh with someone, watch a glorious sunrise, suddenly understand something that has eluded us until that moment. These moments cannot be measured, only experienced. The feelings can stay with and change us.
 
I’m hoping to stop fighting with time and make friends with it instead. Perhaps we can make room for more Kairos moments in our lives.. Less barrenness. More joy.
 

 

Coaching Questions

  1. How often do you wrestle with time?
  2. What’s your chronotype?
  3. What could you do differently to match your energy with your activities?
  4. How could you open more space in your life for Kairos moments to show up?


Visit me at www.sharoneakes.com and www.twowisewomen.org!
 

I am a coach. To find out how I might be helpful to you, please email me at sharon@sharoneakes.com to schedule a Discovery Session. 

 

I've written Fresh Views every month since 2000. The best have been collected into a book titled Fresh Views on Resilient Living. Purchase it here from Amazon.

My partner in Two Wise Women, Nancy Smyth, and I have published another book, Chocolate or Lunch, How Choices Impact Relationships. If you have any tense relationships that need help, this book is for you! Find it here: Chocolate or Lunch on Amazon.

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