How to raise your influencing skills to the next level
The question of how to influence "difficult" managers or team members often comes up in our coaching and training. The illustration above sums up some of the approaches that might work. But what if they don't?
I had the pleasure of attending this year's The Rising Festival, celebrating International Women's Day and hearing from Julia Hoggett, soon to be CEO of the London Stock Exchange, amongst others. One of her comments that stayed with me was the importance, as a leader, of surrounding yourself with people who think differently to you, and who will, as a consequence, stretch your comfort zone in the opinions and questions that they ask you to consider.
A manager or leader is unlikely to hesitate about the value of persevering with a direct report who is not receptive to alternative points of view. But it might be harder to do this with a manager or leader who apparently won't listen to you.
An article by Adam Grant in the latest issue of Harvard Business Review suggested that the following approaches might work:
- Ask the 'intransigent' person to describe how they would do something, in detail. Knowing you are interested might make them more receptive to your ideas if they find they don't have all the answers.
- Let a 'stubborn' person have control. They are less likely to get defensive, and again, might respond better to you if you ask questions such as "What if..?"
- Consider starting with praise - everyone likes a bit of affirmation. They might then be more open to some constructive criticism on some other aspect of their performance
- Be prepared to get involved in an energetic discussion. They might value you for your boldness - especially if you back it up with facts.
You can read more about this in Taking your influencing skills to the next level - in seemingly impossible situations.
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