Wee Hours of March 22, 2021
Dear Tibetan Mastiffs,

As you well know, I have become rather enamored with you recently. Not only are you adorable AF, the idea that a reincarnated Buddhist monk or nun in there is extremely comforting for me to imagine. I hope that's okay for all those involved.

As you also well know because I whisper it to your corner of the universe several times a day, I'm having a real hard time with some of the killers among us. And I'm having a hard time that I sometimes have very despicable impulses, and I'm having a hard time that I actually love and adore some who literally took human life at one time. As you know, I'm having a hard time that I take lives every day, exploiting this human body's place in the food chain. I do kill bugs as well. The only bugs in the house that I do not kill are ones that it would be too gross to squash them. Otherwise, I am a cold-blooded murderer.

Sometimes I can rest knowing that systems are flawed, and humans are insane with pain sometimes, and we are all doing our best. But this Atlanta shooting, after all the attention that has been raised on the slaughter of people with black and brown skin, colors other than white, unfortunate focus on other, after the attention that has been raised by all of humanity being challenged for quite a long time with a new and sometimes deadly illness....I just.....

unrest
unjust
unfair
brutal
hateful
pathetic
ridiculous
shameful

See, Tibetan Mastiffs, that's where I always get hung up in this flow of process. It doesn't help to heal anything to increase shame. As far as I can tell. I don't know if that is right or wrong or situational. It seems true in my life but I also know I can be more gracious with those I already love. I do not love the young white ginger Georgia resident. Jesus, were Jesus alive, likely would have loved that young man, yes? Can any of your knowledgeable been-around-the-block souls answer that question for sure? Does a reincarnated monk or nun in the body of a fabulous furry cuddly family-protecting creature love the scraggly murderer who took so many lives in one day and then got coddled like a VIP by so-called law enforcement afterwards? I do believe sex addiction is real and impactful and difficult to heal from. I do not believe that murder is an unstoppable side effect of sex addiction.

I bow to how hard it is to human sometimes.

I bow to those who have learned how to face adversity and not harm self or others in the process of navigating all the challenges.

I bow to those who effort to be positive influences, reminders of options that allow the overall game to continue.

I bow to those who are willing to deeply explore Love. I started to write more but it literally hurt too bad and I had to stop.

I bow to those whose vulnerability is on display every day. That includes a lot of people for many reasons.

I bow to those who are engaged with facing and healing their/our demons.

If you would like to share with me either your writing or voice memos or artwork or just some silence around violent injustices, please do reach out here.

If you are a white person who would like to join an antiracism group full of thoughtful, wonderful people, please also reach out to me here, there is a place for you if you want it.


Thank you, Tibetan Mastiffs, and all other Holders Of Wonder.