Copy

CREW NEWS April/May 2021
 
In this issue 

General News
Welcome to Chris Noble l Tribute to Alan Davey | New Website  l Wharf Project l Wexp Summer BBQ l Restricted Access to the base
_________________________________________________________________
Opportunities 

Enable l Crewing l Volunteer support
_________________________________________________________________
Team Updates

 Training | Fundraising | Crewing | Maintenance l IT Team l Marketing l Health and Safety l Skipper & Crew 
_________________________________________________________
Other News 

Wexp Woffle l Amazon Smile l CRT dredger Adventures
_________________________________________________________________
Regulars

Volunteer Spotlight  | Caption Contest | Chuckle Corner
Hello <<First Name>>


Hi all and welcome to yet another bumper edition of Crew News!  As always this edition contains updates from all our teams as well as useful info and links, so grab a cuppa (other drinks available!) and read on!

We are making good progress with our plans to restart trips from June 21 even though we are still waiting for detailed government guidelines for the world post June 21. You will be the first to know what WExp will be doing to comply with the guidelines which protect both our volunteers and clients. At the time of going to press it does look like good progress is being made but as Paddy points out we all need to be vigilant and make sure we stay safe to protect ourselves and others. 

The training team have excelled once again with a comprehensive and fun day for the refresher training. We hope that most of you have either already completed your training or are looking forward to a day out on the water soon.  If not, there are still a few places left so book your place as soon as you can. Remember that you must complete the Refresher training before you can crew on client trips.  Speaking of which, poor Fred will be happy when the training is all over and we get back to client trips! 

Remember also you can click on the useful links button which will take you to all recent team meeting minutes and more.

Keep smiling and stay safe!

Lin & Maria
 

GENERAL NEWS

New Trustee - Welcome Chris Noble

At this year’s AGM, we elected a new Trustee, Chris Noble.  Chris is the first Trustee to have been recruited from outside Waterways Experiences.  Before joining us, Chris spent many years as Provincial Grand Charity Steward for the Hertfordshire Province of Craft Freemasons, having been a Freemason for 36 years.  In that role, he was instrumental in raising over £3.6 million for the Royal Trust for Girls and Boys (to relieve poverty and ensure education).  In this role, he headed up 192 Hertfordshire Lodges and 5500 Freemasons, raising about £750,000 per annum for charity. Several Hertfordshire Lodges have donated to Waterways Experiences, including Chris’s own Park Street Lodge, in St Albans, who have booked Sheldrake 3 for one of her first trips in June following the restart.

Chris has been married to Jayne for 49 years, has four children and one step daughter, as well as twelve grandchildren, the youngest being two years old. He jokes that they “keep us very busy, poor and young”.

He retired in October 2012 as National Accounts Manager with an Electrical Manufacturer after 35 years in the electrical / building industry.

His hobbies include football, playing and refereeing (Vauxhall Conference) and charity work. Since retirement, his charitable activities have grown enormously, culminating in being elected a Trustee to Waterways Experiences.

Alongside his work with us, Chris is involved with a Fishing Charity for special needs children and young adults, Forgetmenot Musicians, taking live music into homes with Dementia and Alzheimer's residents, and TLC who give a teddy bear to any child having to visit A&E.

Chris says he loves the simplicity of the Waterways Experiences philosophy and, following his election as Trustee, said "I very much look forward to working with you all for the betterment of Wexp and hope it does not take too long to meet you in person. If you feel I can help you please do not hesitate in making contact"

Welcome, Chris.  

Tributes to Alan Davey

It is with great sadness that we notify you.  Alan Davey, a keen member of WExp and the Maintenance team since October 2015 passed away on the morning of 15th April 2021 after suffering from cancer. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family at this time.

Graham and I have known Alan and Sue for over 50 years.  We met at the church in St.Albans where if a light bulb needed to be changed Alan was first up the scaffolding.  He was also first up a ladder to mend the roof. And give him a paintbrush . . . . . . There was another side that we have not seen at WExp, he loved playing the fool or dressing up as a Ugly Sister to entertain the "old folks" at the Age Concern Christmas party!

Also, WExp wasn't his first experience of the canal - he was one of those who took the barrels of lime juice from Roses LIme Wharf (B&Q) to St.Albans to be processed at their factory, having stood and sprayed them with water for ages to keep them cool. He will be missed.    Sue and Graham Danbury

Alan was a tremendous asset to the maintenance team. He did the work of at least 3 men. He painted our fences, constantly filled the potholes in the drive, fitted drains and painted freehand car parking spaces!  If you asked him to paint something, you just had to remember to tell him when to stop! 
He will be sadly missed by all of his colleagues. Danny Powlesland 

I did several trips with Alan as crew during the years after I became a volunteer in 2016. It was always a pleasure and a great help to have Alan around with his quiet good humour and confidence on the boats. 

I will remember him fondly for the difference he made whilst I was gaining experience at WExp. 
Dave Hayward, Boatmaster


We have been advised that Alan's funeral service will be on the 10th May. If you want to know more or attend online then please use the following link https://www.dignityfunerals.co.uk/funeral-notices/15-04-2021-alan-leslie-davey/

New website
Sally writes...

After what seems like a mammoth journey, the new web site is now live!  Take a look and see what you think  A huge thank you to Keith Pollard for his fantastic his support throughout the project - the new site wouldn't have happened without him.  Keith has been on the waiting list for basic crew training for over a year, so please give him a big welcome when your paths eventually cross. 

Wharf Project - A quick update
Andrew Thompson writes...

Many of us are aware of the “Wharf Project” and have heard a lot about it over the years. Well, it is hoped that we are now able to make some progress and a quick update would seem in order.

You will remember that our wish was to provide new Service Posts to both the existing Wharf area and to the former Belfast Wharf area that the Charity Inherited a few years ago. These would provide supplies of electricity, water as well as deal with the waste from “Pump Outs” as well. We are also influenced by the health and safety aspects that we currently face when dealing with cables, pipes and other equipment on the Wharf.

What may not be so clear are the challenges that have been experienced in obtaining the approval of our Dacorum Borough Council (“DBC”) to the changes we are seeking. Our first application for permission to make alterations to the wharf area were rejected by DBC, with particular reference to their wish to protect some trees along the Belfast wharf and their concerns over the environmental impact. We did not have the opportunity to present the case on site at the time of the first application and so we have had to work hard and encourage them to arrange a new visit from the “Parks and Open Spaces Officer” of DBC. I should add that our proposals do include the planting of Trees at a higher level up the banking, to replace any that are lost and to improve their proximity to the Boats.

The good news is that we are expecting them to join us on 12 May 2021, when Frank Stimpson (Project Lead) and I will be on hand to explain more about the charity’s work and carefully explain the very high significance of the wharf changes to the work of the Charity, and not least the critical issue of access for our disabled and wheel chair using clients.

Some of you will have seen the red and white ribbon marking-out the area concerned and the identification of the trees concerned. We hope we can report positive news in a future Crew News and enable this project to become revitalised and back on schedule. DBC have been very supportive in the past as both Landlords and Grant givers to the Charity, so we can hope for some balanced outcome to emerge.

It may be necessary to progress with the work on the Wharf in two phases, to allow for the existing facilities to be improved first, before extending these to the new Belfast area, at the other side of the slipway. This has not been decided yet, and updated costings are still required, as well as some updates to the design engineering aspects. It is quite possible for us to have some progress with Wharf developments in the quiet time of January 2022, if all goes well. We also must ensure that the Important Fundraising plans are able to support the timing of the project.

We look forward to seeing progress. Our thanks should go to Frank Stimpson for picking up on progressing this project, and to Ian Wilson for his significant work in developing the “Wharf Project” in earlier years.

WExp Summer BBQ

What?              SUMMER PARTY
When?             SATURDAY AUGUST 14th 5pm to 9pm
Where?            The Red Lion pub, London Road, opposite the base
 
We know it has been a tough year for everyone so we wanted to say thank you for your continuing support, to recognise that without our wonderful volunteers we would not exist and to celebrate getting back on the water.  The BBQ will take place at The Red Lion from 5 to 9pm and all our volunteers and their partners are invited.  More details to follow in the next Crew News along with an RSVP to help us with numbers and welcome drink preference!  We know your diaries are filling up as lock down eases so make sure you Save the Date!

Chris Hartley

Restricted Access to WExp Site 

Whilst government restrictions remain, visits to our site are still being restricted. You may only visit the WExp site if you are taking part in an organised training exercise or, if you have a valid reason for going to the site and have registered your visit on the base access calendar. John Bowman administers this in order to control the numbers on site on any particular day. Please contact John, giving plenty of notice if you need to come to the base and seek his approval before you come.

This restriction applies to all WExp volunteers, contractors, local authority employees, CRT staff, clients and other members of the general public.

We are carefully recording visits of all people to the site either on the Booking calendar or on the base access calendar. This includes both the date and time that people spend on site. This information remains an important record and is our part in supporting the Test and Trace aspects of Virus control. If you have booked a visit through the base access calendar, then please, after attending the base, inform John Bowman or Rick Hogger, preferably by email, of the actual start and end time you were at the base. 

John.bowman@wexp.org.uk or 07852 310 152

Rick.hogger@wexp.org.uk or 07976 889 024

Whilst on site, all the current social distancing rules must be obeyed. Face coverings must be worn when in proximity to other people and regular hand washing or sanitising are expected. You must also take responsibility for cleaning common surfaces that you have touched in places like toilets. 

On days when there are several people on site, the site access calendar will show one person appointed as “Site Supervisor”.  It is their responsibility to ensure that all persons at the base (including contractors or visitors) adhere to our procedures. 

To discourage casual visitors please keep the wooden gates closed when no one is entering or leaving. Only to be open when people are arriving or leaving.

Thank you.

John & Rick

Take me to WExp Useful Links

OPPORTUNITIES!

Enable
Sue Dickins writes...

All the Enable trips are now fully crewed and places allocated for the participants.

As usual we were oversubscribed again this year - it’s good to know that our trips are still popular.  However, many of the applications came from young people who have been on several trips before and the average age is now over 18.  For next year we would like the word to get out to a wider audience of young people (from our minimum age of 14) so if you have any contacts in this area, please get in touch with enable@wexp.org.uk

Crewing
Chris Saxton writes...

Is there anyone out there who would like to join the crewing logistics team?  We are a very small group who have to ensure that our trips all have a suitable crew on board.  We make use of spreadsheets, but the work is quite straightforward.  We are now urgently hoping to find someone new to join us to keep this essential work running smoothly.  Please email me if you are interested. I can always be contacted at chris.saxton@wexp.org.uk .

 

Volunteer support 
Sue Dickins writes...

Volunteer Support hasn’t got back into the swing of things yet, there are still several interested parties waiting to come to the base to sign up to volunteer with us but we won’t be able to do this until after 21 June if the current roadmap stays on track.  There are vacancies for experienced WExp volunteers in several teams. So please do volunteer for some non-crewing roles if you have the time - without these positions being filled, there could be less trips!

TEAM UPDATES

Training
Phil Moody writes....

Refreshers Update

Training offers a resounding "Thank you" to all WExp crewing volunteers for showing such enthusiasm for the Refreshers.

By early June we will have provided 54 trips on Close Shave and 25 trips on Sheldrake 3 (due to start May 1st ) and over 100 volunteers will have had the benefit of these Refreshers. Feedback from the volunteers re these trips has been very positive. 

The Training team  hopes that with the refresher training we will all adopting a consistent approach to all the crewing processes. We can not only provide our clients with as professional a service as possible but also, by each of us knowing what other crew members are doing during a trip and how, this will make the overall crewing experience more enjoyable for us all.

As previously advised Basic Crew Training and Skipper Training will restart in June provided there are no unexpected changes to the easing of lockdown and Training will be in touch with you individually, in late May to make necessary arrangements.  

Let's all hope for a happy restart to client trips as and when it is safe.

Fundraising
Lynn & Sally write ...

It’s been a difficult year for many including charities who rely on the generosity of donors to help support their activities. Whilst facing these challenges, we are delighted to have received over 40 donations during this past year, the majority coming via our online giving options, Virgin Money Giving and Paypal.

We would  like to say a huge thank you to Graeme North from Gadebourne Freemasons Lodge of St Albans who came along to the base on 1st May to present a cheque for £500. Malcolm Tebbutt and Andrew Thomson were at the base for the presentation.

In addition we had a flurry of donations following last years’ visit from Foxes Afloat, our social media coverage continues to spread the word, as well as our volunteers who are telling friends and contacts about the work we do. Thank you – this communication is a great way to gain support from individuals and organisations.

Crewing

As most of you will have seen, we have now sent out our first email request for crew for when our trips are scheduled to restart at the end of June.  This is an exciting time and there are lots of opportunities for everyone.  If any crew members have not seen the email, please let me know so we can correct our distribution list.

Also, you can always view the latest trip availability online at http://trip-calendar.wexp.org.uk/ , and request trips by sending an email to crewing.logistics@wexp.org.uk .

Please remember that it is now a requirement for all crew members to have undertaken a Training refresher course before crewing on a trip with clients.  At this time, we will allocate crew to trips on the assumption that they have taken their refresher training, but unfortunately we will have to cancel the allocations if the refresher training is not completed.

Chris Saxton

Maintenance
Danny Powlesland reports....

Sheldrake III Refurbishments
The maintenance team have done a sterling job with the internal refurbishments to Sheldrake III 

Bench Seating

New cushions for the front bench seats have been made and delivered. They are much firmer and thicker than before and are in a paler shade of blue. To accompany the seat cushions, padded backrests have also been made which will be attached to the wall. Previously, passengers lent back against the wooden wall itself which was rather uncomfortable. The cushions and backrests have yet to be fitted in place, awaiting the completion of other work in the area.
 

Passenger Chairs
We decided that the best option was to have the individual blue chairs reupholstered. The seats and backs were previously covered in a vinyl type material which, on many of the chairs, had started to crack and break up, snagging passenger's clothing. We removed the seats and backs from 32 of the chairs and our upholsterer took them away and recovered them in a hard wearing, wipe-able fabric similar to the material used for the front bench seat cushions. He inserted additional padding in the seats and a waterproof under layer.

The picture shows the newly covered light blue chairs having been reassembled waiting to be loaded back onto the boat. We believe the chairs will now not only be more comfortable but will be more sustainable.

Cabin Walls and Woodwork

After initially having some difficulty in finding a contractor during lock-down, we decided that our own volunteers would be capable of tackling this work in a professional way. Our aim was to refresh much of the interior woodwork by lightly rubbing it down and then reapplying three coats of hard wearing, clear varnish. Work has now begun and some areas are already being re-varnished. The narrow strip of wood below the windows (green taped area in picture) has suffered water damage which would show through if we simply varnished over it, so we will paint this strip in a complimentary blue finish. There are some other areas which we may also have to treat differently, but any alternative finish will be sympathetic with the original cabin decor.


 

Cabin Floor
After removing the old vinyl floor covering we found that the wooden floor itself had rotted near the door of the skipper's (high dependency) cabin. We believe that this was due to rainwater pooling on the floor at that spot when the main hatch is open. Our volunteers replaced the rotted flooring before our contractor recovered the entire with vinyl. This now looks very fresh and smart.

 

Deck Locker Tops
There are lockers around the rear deck, the tops of which double as seats for passengers. These wooden tops had started to de-laminate from being constantly exposed to rain and weather. They needed to be remade. We were very lucky to find a contractor who could not only remake the tops but also apply a decorative covering similar to what was there before. The new tops have been finished with hardwood edging to provide better protection and now have a soft feel surface. They look very good.
 

Heaters on Close Shave and Sheldrake II

Many Skippers and Crew will have been aware of the ongoing problems with the Alde gas heaters on CS and SH2. They are often hard to ignite and there have been many comments about the adequacy of their heat output when the weather gets really cold. 

So during the lockdown period, the maintenance team looked at possible remedies for this and decided that we really needed to replace the Alde heaters on both boats with something different. In order to maximise the efficiency of the heating, it was possible that radiators, the hot water tank and even some of the pipework might have to be replaced. So this could be a large exercise. After some research, we thought that we might be able to install new systems for £5K per boat and this budget was nominally agreed. But when a more detailed inspection was carried out by an engineer, it became clear that the cost was more likely to be around £8K per boat. 

At the same time that the boat heating was being investigated, there was also some discussion about the upgrade/replacement strategy for our widebeam boats in the future. We realised that it was probably unwise to spend as much as £16K on new heating systems until we were clear about what the future was for both of our wide beams in the medium term. 

So we have therefore taken the decision to not press forward yet with upgrading the heating systems, pending the outcome of this debate. With the warmer months approaching, we hope this won’t be too much of a problem for the time being. Apart from anything else, it will benefit cash flow if this is delayed until once again we have some regular income. A full service has been arranged for both systems which we hope will help address some of the issues in the meantime.

IT Team
Brian Larkin Reports.....

Having taken over this role from Luca only recently, it has taken a bit of time to get used to the systems in place to keep WExp working. 

We have now been busy adapting the booking and Crewing systems to be more user friendly system and automatically validate the data being entered, thus hopefully avoiding errors. 

We are now looking into automating the process for applying for Crewing slots on trips, to ensure the correct crew get allocated on trips. 

All these processes help to reduce the time taken by our Crewing Team volunteers to achieve their goals in hand. 

Currently there are only two members of the IT Team, I would like to ask if anyone was interested in joining us, to contact me at brian.larkin@wexp.org.uk. We use mainly Google Workspace, so a good  knowledge of spreadsheets would be an advantage. 

Skippers & Crew
Sue Dickins Writes.....

Rick has done a sterling job in the Skippers & Crew calendar - Liaising with the Fish & Chip shop and agreeing the menu and prices for when our trips start again.  Skippers should have already seen the price list.

Health and Safety
Paddy Flavin Reports.....

H & S can sometimes be seen as a pain in the butt which puts a downer on good news stories - and you will be pleased to know that my few words in this edition of CN  will not change this view! 

Covid - it's good news that the vaccination programme is working so well. Adults over 42 are now being offered the jab and combined statistics show that the effectiveness of both the Pfizer and Astra Zeneca shots are circling 85% effectiveness in preventing hospitalisation and nearly 40-50% efficacy in preventing transmission between vaccinated and non vaccinated people. 

All in all, it's great news as we approach the last mile or so to the finishing line of the marathon this country has had to endure over the last 14 months. So what's the ‘downer’?

A dear colleague this morning mentioned their concern about ‘COMPLACENCY’ - we think it's all over before we've got to the finish line and this could be our downfall. I totally agree. 

Whilst the stats are moving in the right direction and very positive, please remember that there are still millions who have not yet been vaccinated some of whom may never be vaccinated for medical reasons. Also, the vaccine is not 100% effective and the best guesstimate at present is that around 15 people in every 100 who have been vaccinated could still contract the disease. 

So dear friends and wonderful volunteers, please continue to run the last mile or so to the finish line. Don't be overcome by complacency ; rather let vigilance be your watchword and continue to follow the covid guidance that is in place for people wanting to visit the base(2021 Re opening of the base) and the training teams covid procedures that are highlighted in our current refresher trips. 

Please do not be tempted to relax your guard - think that you could be coming into contact with colleagues or passengers in the near future who are still susceptible to this awful disease. There will be a time when it's prudent and sensible to move away from many of the current covid restrictions - but that time is not now! 

Other news

Shop AmazonSmile to support Waterways Experiences

Shop AmazonSmile at smile.amazon.co.uk using our unique charity link:  https://smile.amazon.co.uk/ch/1156576-0 and Amazon donates to Waterways Experiences, at no cost to you.

AmazonSmile is also available in the Amazon Shopping App to all AmazonSmile customers using an iPhone or Android phone. When AmazonSmile is activated in the app, every eligible purchase will automatically generate a donation for Waterways Experiences. Go to "Programmes and Features" in your app's menu to activate AmazonSmile.

WExp Woffle
Paul Bennett Writes .....
 
Paul Bennett invites all the volunteers to come and join in our WExp waffle chat session. We usually get about six people, but the more the merrier.  The meetings will probably continue until lockdown is completely over.  It's a social thing and we may well talk about WExp matters but we often end up talking about things quite removed from the canal like the weather or what we've been doing this week. If you're at a loose end on a Saturday morning then come and join us at 10.30 on Zoom.  Just click on the link   https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5579723453.

CRT dredger Adventures
Roy Cook writes...

Some of you may have heard, Ian Wilson had succeeded in persuading CRT to clear the build--up of gravel where we turn our boats near the base, i.e. where the mill stream rejoins the canal.

CRT needed our help to move a dredger from Grove Lock 28 (just south of Leighton Buzzard) to our base on 12, 13, 14 April. They provided a skipper who is familiar with the boat and asked us to provide a crew of 3 each day. 

The Monday team suffered some delays but Tuesday's team made up some of the lost time and the dredger was left near Waitrose in Berko.

Dave Lee and I then assisted the CRT skipper Jamie on Wednesday with the hope of making it to the base.  Today the dredger was used to lift a wheely bin from the canal, and the engine stopped soon after setting off.  These incidents meant long waits for another operative and then a mechanic.  The skipper then decided not to continue with the journey to the base until Friday.  Dave Lee and I had an entertaining morning however, the dredger was still near Waitrose in Berko..  

Dave was then joined by Jim Burgoyne on Friday morning and managed to get the dredger to  CRT's Apsley depot. 

Jamie and his colleague Paul planned to do the dredging job then return the boat to their depot. 

Thank you to all that assisted.

REGULARS

Volunteer Spotlight -  Dave Hayward  👍

What prompted you to join Waterways Experiences?

A1. It was either community service or prison. (Score 1 point)
A2. I went on a social trip on Sheldrake 3 with fellow swimmers from Hemel Sportspace, loved the thought of operating the boats, and became a volunteer. (Score 2 points)

What role(s) do you have in WExp?

A1. Deputy Team Leader left over client food. (Score 1 point)
A2. Boatmaster, Trustee, Video production when required. (Score 2 points)

What do you enjoy most about being with Waterways Experiences?

A1. Having somewhere to dump my used batteries. (Score 1 point)

A2. The chance to play with boats along with satisfaction of helping to create enjoyable trips for all our many and varied clients. (Score 2 points).

What do you like least about Waterways Experiences?

A1. Trips that start before noon. (Score 1 point)

A2. Finding out that there have been needless petty squabbles and acrimony between some volunteers, which have been counterproductive in achieving our objectives. (Score 2 points)

What do you say to your friends about working for Waterways Experiences?

A1. I try and hide it from my friends. (Score 1 point)

A2. My friends tend to be admiring and envious of my volunteering at Wexp, so I'm afraid I play it down, but at the same time I never miss a chance to promote our work. (Score 2 points)

What do you do outside of WExp?

A1. As little as possible. (Score 1 point)

A2. Freelance musician, music and video producer. Support my wife who is an extremely keen gardener, and of course attend to my thankfully fairly local family branches. (Score 2 points)

Anything else you'd like to add?

Readers are free to select which answers they prefer. Add up your scores; between 7 and 11 is ok. 6 points means we're not as serious as we should be about Wexp. A maximum of 12 points indicates that our sense of humour needs some work.

Whether you're an old-hand or newbie, please consider helping us by contributing your story -  just click here  to see how easy it is and remember to provide a photo. It's always wonderful to know more about our colleagues. Don't be bashful ...

CAPTION CONTEST  👍





This Month's Photo 








Last Month's Photo 

“Whoops, I trod on a crack!”
Courtesy of Dave Hayward

"I'm hoping the Sainsbury's queue isn't too long my babies r hungry!"
Or
"I know there's a canal around here somewhere!"
Courtesy of Maureen Kinnear




Keep your captions rolling in guys..Ping your suggestions for this and/or send any WExp images suitable for a caption to comms@wexp.org.uk. We know you all have a great sense of humour so please remember to share!

CHUCKLE CORNER  👍

HELLO, OPERATOR - ANOTHER CHAPTER OF "THEY WALK AMONG US AND REPRODUCE!!

Actual call centre conversations!
Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: 'Does the policy name give you a clue?'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in Europe)
If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes.. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland ...'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK..'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realised that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitored by the customer care department.............. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organisation for 'Termination without Cause.'

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect .'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't show accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall..
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer..'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No...'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office lights are off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn the office lights on then.'
Caller: 'I can't..'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'
Courtesy of Peter Hedges
 

Tricky Maths problem 

Note: This sum must be done QUICKLY, IN YOUR HEAD ONLY and NOT using paper and a pen.
Try it…..and remember, be quick! 
Take 1000 and add 40 to it.   Now add another 1000.
Now add 30.   Add another 1000.  Now add 20.
Now add another 1000.  Now add 10.
What is the total?

 

Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don' t believe it? Check with your calculator!
The decimal sequence confuses our brain, as we nearly always jump to the highest decimals (1000s instead of 100s). Courtesy of Malcolm Tebbutt

 
Let's replace the virus with smiles - and please keep the jokes coming

Copyright © 2020 Waterways Experiences, All rights reserved. 
You are receiving this newsletter because you signed up as a member of Waterways Experiences 
Our mailing address is: 
Waterways Experiences
Nash Mills Recreation Centre
Red Lion Lane
Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire HP3 9TE
Add us to your address book

Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list 
Email
Facebook
Website






This email was sent to <<Email Address>>
why did I get this?    unsubscribe from this list    update subscription preferences
Waterways Experiences · Nash Mills Recreation Centre · Red Lion Lane · Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire HP3 9TE · USA

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp