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You can even use my opening line on a train. I was heading back to Chiang Mai one day and thought these women looked friendly. So, I busted out with the equivalent of what would be, “Are you Chiang Mai people?” They told me they were from Bangkok going on holiday to CM. I enjoyed speaking with them for a good portion of the trip and I learned a lot about Bangkok.
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Back in 2013, I wrote a Language & Culture Learning Tip #16 called “Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood? How to Strike up a Conversation with Anyone." If you missed tip #16, it is worth reading, but 8 years later, I want to share with you my favorite “line” that has never failed me.
To strike up a conversation with a total stranger, anywhere in the world just ask one simple question:
Are you from here?*
It ALWAYS works! Here’s why:
- Everyone is from somewhere.
- Asking the question this way is generally uncontroversial (because you’re not trying to guess somewhere else they could be from).
- No matter what they answer, you have a great follow up question:
- If they say yes, you can ask what they love about their town/city and any number follow up questions to learn more about where you are.
- If they say they are not from there then you can ask how long they have been away from home and if they miss their family. Undoubtedly they’ll say yes and when they do I say, “Me too.” And suddenly, two people who were total strangers only minutes before suddenly have something very meaningful in common and the conversation rolls from there. It is a beautiful way to begin a new friendship.
Please write back to me with your favorite opening “line” OR let me know how it goes for you when you use “my” line.
May this be the beginning of many beautiful friendships!
Lauren
*or some other natural phrase in the local language. In other languages it may end up sounding something more like:
“Are you from [name of the town you’re currently in]?”
or
“Are you a [city name] person?”
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