Hi <<First Name>>,
I could say these introductions write themselves (see the third book recommendation, the Tao Te Ching), but they don’t—maybe I’m not there yet, or I’m just not aware of it.
It’s been a good month of reading—not in terms of sheer volume, but in revisiting some I’d read before, and in reading into the world and my own life. I’ve taken a fair share of notes, nearing 1,000 note cards total. The quantity sounds impressive, but it’s the ideas that I’m cultivating and letting develop that really excite me.
I hope you’re staying safe and healthy, and that maybe you’ll find some of these books as interesting as I did:
I Hear She’s a Real Bitch by Jen Agg
I’ve spent the majority of my life in Toronto and really enjoyed Jen Agg’s book, and how Toronto it is. There are many parts of Jen Agg’s story that I found really interesting—the settings in Scarborough and downtown Toronto, her detailed and honest journey as a chef and business owner, and very practical insights on the restaurant experience. But the most interesting thing was it didn’t feel like one of those heritage commercials; I actually wanted to read this one, and I enjoyed it.
What I loved about it is how it reminded me of Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential—not literally in its experiences or structure or geography, but in its emotional insight and honesty. I wasn’t familiar with Agg’s story prior to reading this, and I’d dined at Le Swan a couple of times without realizing it was one of her restaurants. I found some parts so relatable, while other parts completely eluded my understanding, and I really enjoyed both. Toronto stories like these will win on their own merit, and will let the world get to know this city better.
Quotes:
On framing: Always be positive about bar stools. Like, don't say in an apologetic way, "sorry, no tables, but I can put you at the bar," like it's somehow worse. It isn't. Make it sound like a win. Lucky you, I have these lovely bar stools available.
On gender roles: I am always trying to upend gender roles, even deeply ingrained ones, like the ludicrous idea that "having balls" means being tough. To paraphrase comedian Sheng Wang (who apparently came up with this despite the Internet insisting it was Betty White, much to her chagrin): “It makes no sense. Balls are delicate little sacks that can't take a hit. But vaginas? Vaginas can take a pounding.”
On personality: I honestly didn't think there was anyone else who'd put up with my shitty temperament, which was based mostly on my being extremely judgmental of Tyler rather than accepting of him. It never occurred to me that the relationship was bringing out the worst aspects of my personality, and that maybe if I were happier I'd show more of my good qualities, more often. This has led to a lifetime belief in the immutability of people; we don't change, not really, we are just low-lighted by poor relationships with lovers, family, and friends and highlighted by great ones.
On skin in the game: I don't think he necessarily believed me, but he believed in me. Roland showed so much faith in me—not some tangible idea of faith, but dollar-style faith, money-where-your-mouth-is faith.
On “Trinity Bellwoods”: It's what I hear the kids calling the stretch between Bathurst and Dovercourt along Dundas West, and I GET that, in an ironic twist, I'm a chief factor in the gentrification, but I still kind of hate it. I'd fallen in love with Dirty Dundas and was not looking forward to the mainstream restaurants that would follow in the Hoof's steps.
On early adopters: In an effort to attract restaurant workers I'd decided to make the unusual choice to close Tuesdays and Wednesdays and be open Sundays and Mondays, the days restaurant workers typically have off. Industry people are really who you want early-adopting your restaurant, because: a) they will spread the word quickly throughout the high-density restaurant world; b) they'll come after their shifts and give you that late-night rush; and c) perhaps most important, restaurant people, more than possibly any other group, love to drink, and they will drink a LOT. [Herbert’s note: This is simple, important, business advice—see a similar perspective in Eat a Peach, “The reason we were still alive was that cooks liked us.”]
The Sum of Small Things by Elizabeth Currid-Halkett
Our values, communication, and technology have changed in faster and faster ways. Elizabeth Currid-Halkett explores these macroscopic changes in this book, with a view of the changing cultural elite, which she dubs the aspirational class—one obsessed with becoming their version of a better person in all aspects of their lives. It’s all about inconspicuous consumption. And while income isn’t the only determining factor, it’s still a major one—check out this blog post on being poor in tech for a more microscopic example. If you read this book, you may find that some of its general observations fit too specifically on you—I know I did. Still, it was fascinating understanding the motivations and possible causes of why I think or make decisions the way I do.
Quotes:
On manufacturing and the old middle class: In 1970, a quarter of the American workforce was employed by the manufacturing sector. By 2005, that figure had dropped to 10%. The numbers are not just statistically surprising; embedded in the reduction of manufacturing is the social and economic contract made with the middle class. These jobs were well-paid but relatively unskilled, thus many members of America's middle class achieved prosperity, material comfort, and economic and social security without birthright, and, antithetical to the current formula for upward mobility, without a college degree.
On creativity and the new middle class: Another account of this economic restructuring offers a similar but simpler explanation: The global economy had moved from producing widgets to producing ideas—those who were responsible for generating those ideas, what Robert Reich has called "symbolic analysts" or Richard Florida has termed the "creative class"— are the winners in the new economy.
On social mobility: Mobility into the top echelon of the new world order is reliant on acquisition of knowledge, not birthright, not property held for generations, and not, sadly for many, loyalty to one's work institution.
On knowledge: For this new class of people, knowledge is prized independently of its economic function.
On conveying status: This new group is thus defined, more than anything else, through its shared cultural capital—they speak the same language, acquire similar bodies of knowledge, and share the same values, all of which embody their collective consciousness.
On conveying status 2: This new, dominant cultural elite can be called, quite simply, the aspirational class. While their symbolic position sometimes manifests itself through material goods, mostly they reveal their class position through cultural signifiers that convey their acquisition of knowledge and value system—dinner party conversation around opinion pieces, bumper stickers that express political views and support for Greenpeace, and showing up at farmer's markets.
On dream hoarding: There are not many billionaires and oil titans in the world, but the aspirational class is a big and powerful cultural formation. Most importantly, through their subtle and increasingly inconspicuous choices in how to spend, how to behave, and what to value, they shore up their and their children's distinct sociocultural (and often economic) position of privilege, leaving everyone else out. [Herbert’s note: See Richard Reeves’s Dream Hoarders, in which he explores the widening gap between the upper middle class and everyone else.]
Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu, translated by Stephen Mitchell
“The tao that can be told/is not the eternal Tao./The name that can be named/is not the eternal Name.” So begins Stephen Mitchell’s translation of Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching, which is a very different book from the ones I usually read. This book conveys the fundamental principles of Taoist philosophy. It sounds completely nonsensical when I look intellectually at it, and yet it instinctively makes perfect sense. Mitchell clearly conveys Lao Tzu’s timeless, abstract, concepts through concrete examples and imagery. I felt an incredible sense of calm after reading this one. The selected paintings by Dr. Stephen Little match the poetry as well. If you want something more concrete as an initiation, it might be worth checking out Edward Slingerland’s Trying Not to Try.
Quotes:
On success and failure:
13
Success is as dangerous as failure.
Hope is as hollow as fear.
What does it mean that success is as dangerous as failure?
Whether you go up the ladder or down it,
your position is shaky.
When you stand with your two feet on the ground,
you will always keep your balance.
What does it mean that hope is as hollow as fear?
Hope and fear are both phantoms
that arise from thinking of the self.
When we don't see the self as self,
what do we have to fear?
See the world as your self.
Have faith in the way things are.
Love the world as your self;
then you can care for all things.
On letting go of control:
19
Throw away holiness and wisdom,
and people will be a hundred times happier.
Throw away morality and justice,
and people will do the right thing.
Throw away industry and profit,
and there won't be any thieves.
If these three aren't enough,
just stay at the centre of the circle
and let all things take their course.
On embodying the Tao:
41
When a superior man hears of the Tao,
he immediately begins to embody it.
When an average man hears of the Tao,
he half believes it, half doubts it.
When a foolish man hears of the Tao,
he laughs out loud.
If he didn't laugh,
it wouldn't be the Tao.
Thus it is said:
The path into the light seems dark,
the path forward seems to go back,
the direct path seems long,
true power seems weak,
true purity seems tarnished,
true steadfastness seems changeable,
true clarity seems obscure,
the greatest art seems unsophisticated,
the greatest love seems indifferent,
the greatest wisdom seems childish.
The Tao is nowhere to be found.
Yet it nourishes and completes all things.
On yielding:
50
The Master gives himself up
to whatever the moment brings.
He knows that he is going to die,
and he has nothing left to hold on to:
no illusions in his mind,
no resistances in his body.
He doesn't think about his actions;
they flow from the core of his being.
He holds nothing back from life;
therefore he is ready for death,
as a man is ready for sleep
after a good day’s work.
On nonsense:
67
Some say that my teaching is nonsense.
Others call it lofty but impractical.
But to those who have looked inside themselves,
this nonsense makes perfect sense.
And to those who put it into practice,
this loftiness has roots that go deep.
I have just three things to teach:
simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and in thoughts,
you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.
—
This month, I’ve been occasionally looking into the crypto craze and WallStreetBets. I read this piece on the YOLO economy, which covers some tech workers who have stored up savings and are burned out from their full-time jobs preparing to leave their work. What fascinates me is the flip side to this, which we could call the FOMO economy, in which people buy in order to avoid the regret of missing out. Case in point: Meek Mill buying Dogecoin. There’s definitely a subtle, but important, difference between panic buying, and buying small to learn something new, and I’m hoping Meek is doing more of the latter—unlike the very highly-leveraged Dogecoin millionaire.
After reading all of this and Michelle Kuo’s great piece on moving countries (I highly recommend her book Reading with Patrick), I found consolation in Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton, which explains the causes of the very understandable anxiety we feel when we miss out on good things happening to other people. (Namely, we fear our need to be loved will be unmet, that we’ll be left neglected because we’re no longer important.)
Asides from that, I made an appearance at the Crazy Bird podcast, and Become a Writer Today. I had a lot of fun talking about the first version of my book, There Is No Right Way to Do This. I’m currently working on the next version of it, which I’m so excited to ship. It gets way closer to what I wanted it to be—a book as a body of work that can constantly evolve. If you haven’t already, you can sign up for updates here.
I also wrote about the idea of controlled sloppiness for Lifehacker. I used to be a staff writer for several months, between 2015–2016, so it was good to make an appearance again.
And lastly, it’s been a little over 8 years since I very carelessly published my first post at Medium. Even though I mostly write and publish at my blog now, I’m glad that Medium’s still around, and I’m honestly not sure that I’d still be writing without it. I have a lot of thoughts on what’s been happening there, but I just haven’t prioritized writing about the platform itself. It’s tough—sometimes I feel like my brain is a reservoir of water, but my hands, eyes, and even mouth have such limited capabilities in expressing all of it. It can be very frustrating, which is usually when I pick up the Tao Te Ching.
—
I hope that some of these passages unlock the hidden doors of your mind. Maybe some will serve as catalysts for change. And remember, they’re signposts. It’s up to you whether you want to apply them or not. Reply to this and let me know which quotes or books resonate with you, what you think of the newsletter, and if there’s anything I can support you with.
Herbert
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