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幸せは 自分が 決めること
𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘢 𝘫𝘪𝘣𝘶𝘯 𝘨𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘶 𝘬𝘰𝘵𝘰
“Happiness is something you decide for yourself”
𝘐𝘭𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺: 𝘡𝘦𝘯𝘬𝘺𝘶
𝘙𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘺: 𝘑𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘎𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪-𝘉𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴𝘳𝘶𝘥
The other day I had the wonderful opportunity to chat with Dr. Tam Wei at Clark-Lindsey in Urbana. Dr. Wei spent her professional career investing in the well-being of others. She tirelessly worked as a mental health specialist and a school psychologist for Ford-Iroquois counties where she traveled from town to town and visited numerous schools helping children in need of support and guidance.
Dr. Wei, who is now in her nineties, shared with me a list of people that she wanted to write letters to and simply share her gratitude for their existence. She stated that she felt compelled to tell people that she was thinking about them and that she wanted them to know that she appreciated them for all that they have done – some of these individuals she had lost contact with and wanted to reconnect. She hoped that a simple card or letter would bring a smile to their faces. She stated that she felt it was important to share with people that you are thinking about them by letting them know – through a letter, a phone call, or any form of communication. It is a missed opportunity to connect with someone if you only think about them and do not do anything to reach out.
She also shared with me that in the winter months, many times she feared she might slip going across the street or walking to a store from her car. She would seek out an individual in the vicinity and directly ask if they would be willing escort her to the store or in the crosswalk. Though she initially felt that she was imposing on the person, the overall response from the person was that they were pleased to be able to help her. She said to me that she felt that offering a person a chance to help another person is a means of sharing joy and happiness. Being helped is wonderful but feeling helpful to another person is even better.
In Buddhism, it is believed that if a person is self-centered or thinks only about themselves, they end up being confused, dissatisfied, and unhappy. The true ideal is to let go of self and instead, to think about others. Zen master Eihei Dogen (1200-1253) said, "𝘛𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘩𝘢 𝘞𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧; 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧; 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴." The attainment of happiness and satisfaction in life can only come from serving others. We can achieve a deeper sense of purpose when we let go of self-interest and focus on altruism. We need to value others first and act to benefit them, before ourselves.
That afternoon, I left Dr. Wei thinking that happiness is something that you decide for yourself and that if you seek it from within, you will likely not find it. But if you put others first and share with them your gratitude and caring – then true satisfaction and happiness can be abundant.
For the past few months, I have been carrying around so much personal stress and frustration – things that truly only concern myself and these thoughts began to cloud how I was functioning and communicating with others… I kept thinking if I took a vacation or if I took a day off work, maybe I would feel differently… but then I realized I need to stop thinking about self and what makes me happy and do something. I believe we all should take a moment to think more about others and do something. We must devote time to think about our community and do something.
The Dalai Lama once stated, "𝘏𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺-𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴."
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