Caroline writes about quarterly meetings and a new book called Radical Respect.
Hello Friends,
How are you? Recently, I was driving home after visiting my boy in college (Yes, one child has been launched out of the house, and I have been having ALL the feelings!), and I felt so moved by autumn’s beauty—the October sky was a beautiful baby blue, and a firey fall foliage filled the landscape with energy and abundance. At the same time, I could not help but think about the despair so many of us have been feeling about the many tragic events of this past year, including the unfathomable number of innocent people taken hostage, displaced, or killed with such vengeance in the Middle East. Not knowing how to stop what’s happening is making me feel helpless too. In conversations with clients and friends, I know that I’m not alone in feeling this way.
“History has failed us. But no matter.”
This is an opening sentence from Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko, a story about three generations of a Korean family persevering with dignity and quiet strength, in spite of the deep injustices they experience. It’s a kind and spirited sentence that acknowledges the damage that has been done but also reminds us of our agency and strength to get up and keep going. With this spirit, I hope to keep doing what I do best, help others, and live my life with purpose and gratitude, not guilt. What has been helping you during this time?
One bird launched!
Photo credit: Chong Oh
Quarterly Stepback
2024 has been quite a year for my little life too, filled with big highs and lows. It’s hard to believe we’re already in the final quarter of the year!
Earlier this month, I sat down with Malina Coulter, my trusted colleague and executive assistant of four years, for our quarterly stepback meeting. This 2-3 hour session, our mini version of a “quarterly offsite” in the Death by Meeting model, is a favorite of ours, offering a chance to reflect, realign, and strategize beyond the day-to-day tasks. Outside of this meeting, we stay in close contact with weekly check-ins to address immediate priorities and tasks. We also touch base at the beginning of the day by text to share our schedules and any important updates, and of course, I sometimes find myself calling her in a panic for last-minute support. (Sorry Malina!)
A sampling of questions we ask ourselves every quarter include:
What have we accomplished since last quarter?
How did the changes we put in impact our work? Do we want to keep, discard or tweak those changes?
What’s currently working well in the way we are working together?
What’s not working well, or just a little off? What are your pain points?
What can we try or do differently in the next quarter to work better together?
Which engagements brought in the most income? Most joy? Most future opportunities? (Or which 20% of engagements or clients brought in 80% of positive impact?)
What do you want to get to do next quarter? Next year?
What are you most excited about in the next quarter?
What are you most worried/scared about coming up? How can I help you?
During this meeting, we also review the goals we set for ourselves at the start of the year to check our progress. Malina comes prepared with all the spreadsheets we need to make informed decisions, helping us stay aligned and focused. I’m incredibly grateful to have Malina as my kind, supportive cheerleader and accountability partner. If I could ever get my husband and myself organized to meet quarterly like this, we’d be a real power couple!
Please see my April 2021 notes for more information on the book Death by Meeting by Patrick Lencioni and the framework that we adapted to set up our own meeting system. Glad We Met by Steven G. Rogelberg is also a good resource for improving your one-on-one meetings. As part of my ongoing celebration of ten years of coaching, I would like to offer the first two readers who reply one 90-minute session each which they can use for their own quarterly stepback or year-end review. Four things to keep in mind:
You can be a current client!
You can use this session anytime within a year.
This gift cannot be offered to those who have received gifted sessions in 2024 already.
No re-gifting this round, please.
Radical Respect
In my last notes from June 2024, I wrote about how I had been integrating concepts from Kim Scott’s book Radical Candorfor offsites and leadership workshops. Professor Debbie Streeter, one of my mentors, replied and recommended Kim Scott’s follow-up Radical Respect. It turns out that I had actually written about the book in my March 2022 notes with its original title, Just Work.
When I read the previous version, Just Work, I thought it offered thoughtful strategies for handling people who are behaving poorly (stonewalling, or even bullying) or those who are being biased or racist in the workplace. It made sense to me that when there is no good intention for communication or collaboration, what's needed is a clear code of conduct, policies, and tools to shut down negative behavior and foster a respectful working environment. Radical Candor, defined as “caring personally” and “challenging directly,” only works as a feedback tool if there is willingness and openness to work together. I plan on reading the new version soon. I would also love to gift a copy to the first two readers who ask. You will have to tell me what you thought of it though!
There are just about 9 weeks left in the year. May we all spend that time well.
Caroline
P.S.
Wait! I have to share a joyous recent encounter with an incredible woman. I was facilitating a meeting (quarterly offsite!) for the Girls Who Code executive team that day. During a break, we casually walked out of our rented conference room and found ourselves face-to-face with none other than Malala Yousafzai and her team! Yes, that Malala—the Pakistani Nobel Peace Prize winner who was targeted by a terrorist when she was only 15 years old for her activism. We were all in shock to see her there! My kids grew up reading the children’s version ofI am Malala Yousafzai.
It was a joy to see her speak with the also inspiring Girls Who Code team. Trying to play it cool as a New Yorker and a good facilitator, I stepped aside to take a group picture when Malala graciously agreed to do so. But Malala insisted that I join the photo, asking her colleague to capture the moment. Afterward, she then walked several paces over, specifically to me, to hug me. I essentially melted in her arms. It was a scene. Haha. Let’s just say I felt chosen. Here’s a group photo right before that now famous (in my family) hug. 🩵
