
As the festive season fast approaches, I thought I would share some thoughts and learnings that I have personally experienced as I have got older and I think might give you pause for thought.
It was only recently that we held our ‘grand finale’ of a fundraising dinner that I had organised every year since 2012 - except for a five-year break following Covid. It was always a fabulous event and we raised loads of money for Steps Conductive Education Centre, a charity of which I have been Patron for 30 years. (www.stepscentre.org.uk)
I have always loved organising events. Even when I was 12-years-old I organised a Pet Show with a friend in aid of the RSPCA and as I grew older, that translated to setting up a business, organising overseas group trips and charity events such as the one mentioned above. But there comes a time when we wake up to the fact that we are older now and things that we found super-easy before turn out to be more challenging – and that’s OK.
On this latest occasion we all arrived to set up the day before the event at the magnificent country residence that is often used as a wedding venue, with its stunning lakes, lawns and woodland. It really was a beautiful setting. We had transported the 300 tombola gifts, raffle prizes and auction lots, as well as the covers and ties for the dining chairs to bring a black and red theme to the Ballroom where we would all be dining. Aided and abetted by my daughter Dawn and son-in-law Laurie, (who had been involved in preparing all previous events), our brilliant team of volunteers stepped into action to set everything up. The problem was I found myself like a rabbit in the headlights with a dozen tasks staring at me but I couldn’t decide what to do first! Conscious of my arthritic feet, I was unproductively going round in circles and achieving nothing whilst everyone else was just getting on with it. I then realised that this was exactly why I had decided that this was the last time we would run this event.
We arrived the following afternoon and everything was ready and looked spectacular. The chef was busy in his kitchen with his team. The sound-man arrived and our beautiful singers, Belle Voci - an operatic duo who sing contemporary songs and who were going to entertain us later, had their sound check. They sounded magnificent. We were all dressed in our finery and I was excited. I wasn’t nervous or stressed because everything was in place. Our compere was ready to run the evening, Lars Tharp from BBC’s Antiques Road Show was in place to do the auction, and my PA Peter was all set to ensure that anyone who bid in the auction, paid! All I had to do was say a few words about Steps at the beginning and host the event. I loved every minute.
The event went like a dream and everyone had a great time, and we raised £25,000 for the charity which was wonderful. An added bonus was that the owners of the stately home in which we were holding the event, joined me on my table as my guests. At the very end of the evening, they said ‘That was the best event we have ever had here at the Hall’. Happy days.
Of course, I hardly slept that night and the following morning I felt as though I had been run over by a dozen trucks – not through drink as I drank water all evening – but despite loving it I had no regrets that this really was the Grand Finale.
I believe that acknowledging that we are getting older and that we can’t do everything we used to do, is a strength, not a weakness. It is inevitable. It may be a bitter pill to take but we should swallow our pride and accept that we are not super-human. We need to be realistic.
This leads me on to talking about Christmas and family gatherings. Every year for as long as I can remember, we have loved having a family get-together before Christmas with my brother and his wife, Robert and Jane, and their two daughters - and then, with their extended families too. We would meet at our alternate homes, ours in Leicestershire and theirs in Cheshire. This wonderful reunion is always special and up until two years ago, we parents hosted it. But last year my daughter Dawn, after discussion with her two cousins, announced that she and her hubby were going to host it at theirs and we ‘mums’ from now on could sit back and relax. And it was wonderful – and a new era had arrived. The daughters were taking over our family Christmas event and that was fabulous!
I know that Mary’s daughters have also taken over hosting their family Christmas. It just makes sense to let go of some of the responsibilities we used to take on ourselves. It gives us more time to have fun with the grandchildren and relax.
Of course, every family is different and there are no hard and fast rules. I just felt that by sharing my experience of coming to terms with my advancing years, it might encourage you to acknowledge that there’s nothing wrong in doing a bit less at Christmas. What is the point in stressing ourselves unnecessarily? Let’s just enjoy it!
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Christmas Cake
Makes approx. 20 slices
Per slice: 228 calories, 2.8g fat (excluding any icing or marzipan)
Prep time 30 mins
Cook time 2 – 2½ hours
225g (8oz) no pre-soak prunes, pitted
115g (4oz) cooking apple, peeled & grated
175g (6oz) dark muscovado sugar
4 eggs, beaten
1 lemon and 1 orange, zested
175g (6oz) self-raising flour, sifted
1 tbsp mixed spice
50g (2oz) sunflower seeds
225g (8oz) currants
225g (8oz) sultanas
225g (8oz) raisins
115g (4oz) glacé cherries
120ml (4fl oz) brandy
2 tbsps apricot jam, sieved, to glaze
- Preheat the oven to 170°C, 325°F, Gas Mark 3. Lightly grease and line a round cake tin (20cm/8in diameter, 7.5cm/3in deep) with greaseproof paper.
- In a large mixing bowl mix together the prunes and apple. Add the sugar, then beat in the eggs a little at a time.
- Press down the mixture to squash the prunes.
- Mix in the lemon and orange zest, then carefully fold in the flour, spice, sunflower seeds and fruit.
- Gradually stir in the brandy.
- Pour into the prepared cake tin.
- Using the back of a metal spoon, make a slight dip in the centre to allow for an even top once baked. Bake in the oven for 2 – 2½ hours or until a metal skewer inserted into the cake comes out clean.
- Allow to cool on a wire rack, then remove the greaseproof paper. Glaze by brushing with warmed apricot jam and arrange some cherries or dried fruits on top. Store in an airtight container.
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Don't forget, you can download and print a copy of all our recipes if you click on the image to go to the recipe's page on the website.
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Fun, Facts & Fitness from Mary Morris MSc.

I remember many years ago a couple of elderly relatives visited us for Christmas every year and spent most of the visit telling the rest of the family when their next hospital appointment was and what it was for! Now that we have reached a similar time of our lives the members of my walking groups find themselves doing exactly the same and many a cafe gathering, when we pause half-way for a coffee, is spent discussing hearing aids, eye tests and future doctor’s appointments!
If we were to dwell on all the things that can go wrong with the human body, particularly as we get older, we could become pretty depressed, but the feed back we have had from our readers has told us that you appreciate learning more about what happens to our body as we age.
For instance, a few weeks’ ago one of our readers asked us to discuss the subject of prolapse, and I was surprised to learn how many had at some point suffered from this, so I was interested to find out more. The word 'prolapse' literally means to slip forward or down, or out of place. In physical terms this refers to the ‘falling down’ or ‘slipping’ of a body part from its usual position and can occur in various organs or tissues in the body:
Pelvic Organ Prolapse
In women this occurs when the muscles and tissues supporting the pelvic organs (such as the bladder, uterus or rectum) weaken, causing one or more of these organs to drop into the vaginal area. This is often related to childbirth, getting older or increased pressure on the abdomen.
Rectal Prolapse
This happens when part of the rectum slips through the anus. This is associated with constipation and a weak pelvic floor.
Vaginal Vault Prolapse
After a hysterectomy the top of the vagina can sometimes drop towards the vaginal opening.
Uterine Prolapse
This is when the uterus drops down into or out of the vagina due to weak pelvic floor muscles.
Symptoms of any Pelvic Organ Prolapse:
- A heavy dragging feeling in the vagina or lower back
- A lump in the vagina or outside
- Urinary problems such as a slow stream or incomplete emptying
- Bowel problems
The causes are often associated with pregnancy but also going through the menopause may be a factor. Being very overweight or having a persistent cough, lifting heavy items or chronic constipation may also lead to a prolapse. So, let's look at how it may be managed and it will not surprise you to know that making some good lifestyle choices maybe all the steps you need to take. A prolapse is rarely life threatening and simply being aware of the risks and looking after yourself well is all that is needed.
- Strengthen your pelvic floor!
This ideally needs to be our first priority and is our best non-surgical approach to avoiding it happening in the first place and treating mild cases. As I sit here writing about it, I automatically start doing my Kegel Exercises but for those of you who have suffered a prolapse in the past I would hope you practise them daily. They are explained on our website and the beauty of doing them is that they are very discreet and no-one would know we are doing them.
- Be a Healthy Weight
Excess weight puts pressure on the pelvic floor and therefore increases the likelihood of having a prolapse. Having a good reason to lose weight may be all you need to find the motivation to actually make it happen. Eat well and eat less - so stick to healthy meals and watch the size of your portions.
- Avoid Heavy Lifting
Leave the heavy lifting to others, but if we have no choice then make sure you use the best technique – bend the knees, keep your back straight, and keep the object close to you as you lift.
- Select Low-Impact Exercises
If you have symptoms, you need to avoid running and jumping which can increase pressure on the pelvic floor. Swimming, walking and cycling are good non-impact aerobic options. With strength training, using weights may not be a good option, so choose exercises that use your own body weight such as press ups and squats. Abdominal curls are not advised, but we can do the plank as a way of keeping our 'core' strong.
- Maintain Hormonal Balance
Oestrogen levels drop after the menopause and can play a part in weakening the pelvic floor. Doing the Kegel Exercises are a must at this time of a woman's life but it may be that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) could be a good choice.
- Manage Chronic Cough and Constipation
A persistent cough creates a lot of pressure, as does being regularly constipated. Knowing the cause of the cough and getting the appropriate treatment is key, and adding lots more fibre to our diet will solve the problem with our bowels.
Spinal Disc Prolapse
Also known as a ‘herniated disc’ or ‘slipped disc’. This occurs when a spinal disc slips out of place, compressing nearby nerves and resulting in considerable back pain.
Having suffered this myself over the years, I know that it is imperative that we make a real effort to keep our spine both strong and mobile. Our Back Workout on the website will give you the basics of good exercises for this key area.
A Final Word
Severe cases of any kind of prolapse need the help and support of a medical practitioner as there are surgical procedures that can help. Once you have been successfully treated then all the advice above is so useful in maintaining the best of health.
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Pelvic Floor (Kegel) Exercises
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The Back Workout.
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This Week's Fitness Challenge
- Do plenty of exercise 'snacks' this week and include the Kegel Exercises for your pelvic floor.
- On your daily 30+minute walks try doing a 'pull in' of your abdominals and hold for a few seconds. It is a real posture corrector.
- Do the Back Workout 3 times this week
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Did you know...
Kegel exercises, designed to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor, were first published by American gynaecologist Arnold Kegel in 1948.
The word gynaecology comes from the Greek word γυνή (gyne) meaning 'woman', and -logia meaning 'study'. While that is a word in fairly common usage, did you know that its counterpart is andrology, which deals with medical issues specific to the male reproductive system?
In searching for a suitable image we might use to illustrate this week's Did You Know? it occurred to us how easy it is to look up pretty much any subject we can think of, now that we have the internet at our fingertips.
Not like the days when we had to visit a library and thumb through a copy of Encyclopedia Britannica in the vague hope of finding something relevant...
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And finally...
We have certainly discussed a variety of subjects this week and I hope you have found it interesting. I found Mary’s piece on the various forms of prolapse fascinating.
I hope you have a great week and can enjoy your exercise. I so love the fact that I can now walk without lugging around a surgical boot and that my foot continues to recover and become stronger.
With love and best wishes,

Rosemary Conley CBE DL
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LIVE LONGER | LIVE HEALTHIER | LIVE HAPPIER
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