Caroline writes about her mini-sabbatical and the book Atomic Habits
Hello friends,
It’s already October, and I didn’t have a chance to check in with you at all about summer. On a personal note, I celebrated my 50th birthday this summer! Honestly, that (this year and also the first 50 years of my life…) went by so fast!
Mini- Sabbatical
Inspired by a client whose well-deserved sabbatical I got to help plan earlier this year, I decided to forgo planning a big 50th birthday celebration, and instead, to take five weeks off this summer for my own mini-sabbatical. The last and only time I took a sabbatical, I got to pick up my then tiny kids from school every day, reflected a whole lot on how I wanted to change my work and life, and managed to relaunch my career as an executive coach. You can read about it in my LinkedIn article titled “The Year I Bought Time: My Sabbatical,” which was originally published in now defunct The Clyde Fitch Report, an online arts publication.
The number one priority of my mini-sabbatical of 2023 was a family trip of a lifetime to South Korea, my childhood home. It had been 19 years since my husband and I were there, and it was our kids' first time visiting. With my eldest heading to college next year, our window of opportunity for such a trip seemed to be closing, and it felt like a “now or never” situation.
During this 20-day trip across three different cities, we doubled down on our efforts to help our children connect with their Korean roots. We even visited the 38th parallel line that divides the already tiny Korean Peninsula into North and South, and met with more relatives than they ever imagined having. Our highlight was visits with my husband's 104-year-old grandmother. When we held her deeply lined hands and told her, “We came all the way from New York to see you,” she laughed and said: “You said you came to see me?” Then she looked straight into our eyes, pointed at her tiny face, and said: “Okay. Look at me. This is what I look like.” Seeing my nearly 80-year-old father-in-law running around to take care of his own mother was also deeply moving for all of us. It was time well spent away from work.
My kids and their 104-year-old great grandmother.
Photo credit: Chong Oh
If you are planning, or dreaming about a sabbatical yourself, please consider these resources and inspirations.
“How Sabbaticals Can Help Recruit & Retain Talent” on Bloomberg Quicktake with Scarlet Fu - In this 2022 interview, Scarlet and I discussed how we can ask for and get the most out of a sabbatical. We also talk about ways in which we can draw healthy boundaries, prioritize what’s really important to us, and use our weekends and vacation days fully, even if our employer cannot offer a paid extended break.
“How to Reboot Yourself and Feel Unrushed in the New Year,” a Tim Ferriss Show podcast interview featuring Jerry Colonna – Jerry is a coach who inspired me to become a coach more than ten years ago. The advice that resonated with me most was that the first and most important purpose of a sabbatical is to truly rest. Taking a sabbatical with too many, or too big of a goal is to set yourself up for a big letdown and self-criticism.
A TED Talks video called “The Power of Time Off” by Stefan Sagmeister - This short video by a NYC-based designer who closes his design shop every seven years for a year-long break made me SO jealous! He talks about how illogical it is for us to wait till retirement and old age to do the things that make us feel alive and happy. He instead makes a case for building in extended breaks into your working years to be happy, healthy, and to stay creatively inspired
I know that sabbaticals, or even a long family vacation like the one I took, are not possible for most of us, including my husband who returned to work after ten days in Korea.
When it wasn’t possible for me to take a sabbatical, I followed a piece of advice from Tim Ferriss’s book The 4-Hour Workweek(I have mixed feelings about this book. However, his long form podcast is very good.) and made a list of all the things I wanted to do if I ever took a sabbatical. Once I had the list, I was able to prioritize just a couple of things I knew I could accomplish each year if I made active plans to knock them out. I got my driver’s license in my mid-thirties using this list. Ha.
Once you’ve made your “sabbatical list” of special projects or experiences, find small and big chunks of time throughout the year to act on even one or two items. That might look like building in little breaks each day to read a book or take an online class. Or you might even end up launching a business or completing a writing project you always dreamed about!
One practical way you can start working on making positive changes, with or without a sabbatical, is building and implementing a good system of habits that are aligned with the changes that you want to make and removing the habits that get in the way of those changes. During my mini-sabbatical, I finally had the chance to read Atomic Habits, a practical, simple, and excellent guide by James Clear on this very topic.
This book is also insanely quotable! Few of my favorites...
“If you have good habits, time is your ally. And if you have bad habits, time is your enemy.”
“Good habits are dependable solutions to recurring life challenges.”
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
“Can my current habits lead to my desired future?”
“Am I creating an environment that allows for desired habits?”
“Every action is a vote for a person that you want to become.”
I can easily write a paragraph about each of these quotes and how they apply to what I want for my life. To start with the first quote, I know whenever I find myself in a long line to buy something or stuck on the train, it feels delightful to take out my phone and get in a couple of Duolingo lessons in Spanish. When I’m seated somewhere with nothing to do, I eagerly take out my notebook and start writing. Journaling, I realize, is what Clear calls a “keystone habit” for me. Originally defined by Charles Duhigg who wrote another excellent book on habits called The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, a keystone habit is a habit you have that leads to a cascade of other actions, either positive or negative.
To read my thoughts on The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, see my notes from February 2018. If I keep up with my notebook time, which includes some combination of reflection, planning and list making, and even doodling, it sets me up for a good day, a good month, and a good year. It makes me more likely to exercise, or prioritize what’s most important to get done for the day, and generally puts me in a positive mood. I know that this is something I should always make time for, even if it’s just to jot down a few bullets to start or end the day.
If you too want to read Atomic Habits, I’m happy to send copies to the first two who ask! Here’s a summary of the book on James Clear’s own website. Alternatively, you can listen to this 38-minute Re:Thinking podcast episode, “Building Atomic Habits with James Clear," hosted by Adam Grant.
Let me know what you think!
Thanks for reading to the end. Please send me updates on how your summer was and what your fall looks like!
Caroline
P.S.
In my May 2023 notes, I incorrectly stated that Daro Sulakauri ”lives and works in a mountainous remote enclave in the Pankisi region of Georgia, right next to Russia.” She does not live there! She travels to the border town to document the inhabitants’ stories. I’m so sorry Daro! Please use this apology as an excuse to check out her website and her powerful work.
Also check out The CatchLight Global Fellowship, which is the program that connected me to Daro and her colleague Rafael Vilela. Rafael is a Sao Paulo based photojournalist currently working on a project called Forest Ruins which examines the impacts of urbanization on the climate crisis from the perspective of the Guaraní Mbyá people.
P.P.S.
My Executive Assistant and colleague Malina Coulter and I just celebrated our third year of working together! If you have worked with me, you know how important Malina is to my coaching practice and life in general. To celebrate, we are planning on issuing just a few gift certificates (6 sessions over three months) that you can use for yourself, or gift to friends. Please let us know if you are interested!
