Wild Tales from the 1983 Boardwalk

Russ Strittmatter, Board of Directors

Sit back and prepare to laugh. The following stories are incidents from the Wildwood Boardwalk of 1983 as recorded by people who witnessed or reported them. 

An owner of an arcade reported that a drunk male threw a skeeball at a machine and broke it!

Complaint about two naked people found at 3 A.M. Officer provided squad car blankets. Naked people said thanks!

Rowdy drunk warned – you get out of town and back to Philadelphia on the next bus.

Two large males were about to kill each other inside of the Boardwalk Mall with knives. Police Officer sang to then, “why can’t we be friends” and they stopped fighting. Music soothes the savage beast. 

Youth received a 150 volt electrical shock after touching a Boardwalk electrical box. The youth refused treatment. 

12 pot smokers under the pier. A real pot party! Called each parent and said, “come get your pride and joy.”

Complaint…Boardwalk rail sitter everywhere!

Complaint…an unruly crowd at 10:25 A.M. Telephone operators on strike!

Complaint from 9:45 A.M…. A horse is loose on the Boardwalk at Schellenger Ave!

Complaint 2 A.M.… 37 persons asked to vacate a noisy home. 

Complaint… Youth on a 3rd floor Boardwalk balcony is throwing things at Boardwalk walkers below night after night!

Complaint 10:15 A.M. Twiggy and her dirt-ball boyfriends were observed by boardwalk walkers in a heated embrace on the beach marble square!

T-shirt riot on the Boardwalk! Customer said he was overcharged. Merchant refunded $1.00. T-shirt riot was resolved. 

Food vendor charged $1.00 for a cup of water. Vendor said the sign says, “No free water!”

Bed found under pier with linens…and lovers! Second offense. 

Man stole a beach towel and blanket found sleeping under the boardwalk. He said he was going to return the stolen items after a good night's rest! 

Group of pickpockets apprehended. Check your pockets!

Another good day. Not even a lost kid!