November 2023

Its the beginning of December, and Im at a loss for words. Mainly because I have been sick for the past few weeks and cant think straight. Turns out this is my first official covid infection. I haven’t been ill since before the beginning of the pandemic because by the end of 2019 I was already at home due to chronic pain. I was so scared of getting sick not just of covid but any cold. I still am because the pain and agony I was in was too much to handle. Due to me having an autoimmune disease, when your body is fighting off an illness, it makes the disease immensely worse. I don’t usually cry because of my arthritis pain (I cry more with grief of what my chronic conditions take from me not so much the pain itself). I used to cry every period I had because the Endometriosis pain was unbearable and thats what this reminded me of, excruciating stabbing pain in my pelvis/back. Thankfully my body feels a lot better and its more my head which is congested. I have been feeling so sorry for myself while in the comfort of my own home, while also heartbroken and angered about all the innocent people suffering in Palestine from surgeries and amputations with no pain management, the burns all over their bodies, all the diseases and infections due to no clean water and dirt and sewage, the mothers who have just given birth and are walking for hours. Its just not fair for humans to face this depravity. 

I was hoping to include some exhibitions I have been to since being back from Guyana but I just don’t have the energy or brain power to put it together. Instead I included visiting my friend A’s allotment, got a handmade present from Elif, saw a beautiful tribute to Khadija Saye, saw Munch Club TV (Nyasha), got a new tattoo and Im fundraising for my Art School. Josh’s Girlfriend Zoe’s cat had kittens which I havent met yet but you can see some pictures of right at the end of this newsletter.

Sorry my head and heart isn’t in it this month, everything is so hard being disabled, getting Covid on top of that and seeing the lack of empathy and excess violence day after day, while people justify it. It doesn’t make sense to me and I want to fight for a better world. There has to be more to this world than greed, violence, colonialism and imperialism. 

I just came across these artworks from Daisy Bow which really resonated with me. She made them in 2021 after loads of trees were cut down in the middle of the night in her local community. You can read more about that HERE and why she felt the need to make these artworks memorialising them. Similarly, this month I made a drawing about a Palestinian woman by the name of Mahfoutha Shtayyeh who was photographed crying and hugging an Olive tree, that had been destroyed by Israeli military in the background of the picture. Nature and how we connect to it is of the upmost importance, especially in the face of a climate crisis. Indigenous people across the globe have cared, loved, protected and appreciated the nature we share this globe with. Imperial, colonial people seek to destroy nature, destroy the planet, destroy peoples lives and futures. 

Daisy makes art using a type of photography from the 1840s called Cyanotype. She explains the process regularly on her social media so have a look at her insta or tiktok. 

In early October while it was still warm, I went to see my friend Munch Club TV (Nyasha) who I had the pleasure of being on his food youtube channel back in the day (you can watch it below). We cooked up one of my favourite dishes which is a seafood linguine, he said everytime he makes it he thinks of me which is an honour. The last time I saw him was 2019 New Years!!! He has been making moves in the F1 Podcast world, even having multiple live events in America! I got to meet his dog Teddy!

It was really heart warming to see him again with Viss and Antonia, Mahad (Viss’s bestie) and some other people who were really lovely and welcoming too. I just rarely socialise these days and even though I felt social awkward and introverted I felt like I was in a safe place with no judgement. I think that is just the kind of environment that Nyasha creates. Warm, homely, inviting and fun energy. Being the picky eater that I am I get a bit stressed in these sorts of situations, but everything he made went down a treat. He BBQed some chicken and some delicious ribs, potato salad, pesto pasta, a chicken stew and mac and cheese (i cant remember the type of pasta but he would not be happy with my incorrect use of macaroni in this case😂). At one point everyone finished eating and went outside, the whole back wall is glass so I was stood in th kitchen and Nyasha looked at me in the eyes as I was ravaging my second portion of ribs. What a moment. Before I left Nyasha provided me with some rice and chicken stew to go. I felt so happy seeing everyone and having a night of delicious food. 

In my June 2023 newsletter I posted Gender is Vast 1, which I made inspired by the Norfolk Trans Joy Community Quilt. When I saw that Euphoria Quilt was created and a global open call for submissions I decided to redesign a new version which fit the size specifications. 

I came across this infographic titled Callings & Roles for Collective Liberation by Slow Factory and wanted to share it. “Slow Factory is an award-winning platform radically imagining and creating solutions to the intersecting crises of climate justice & human rights through cultural change, science and design. The scope of our work is both broad and deep.”

Deep in my bones I believe art makes the world a better place, I believe art is revolutionary and political, but even I can sometimes let the capitalist, individualist rhetoric bring me down and convince me (momentarily) that I have no power as an artist (or person). This infographic shows that we need so many different skills in the pursuit of a more just world which is fair and benefits the many rather than the few. 

At the end of October I got a new tattoo to commemorate my life changing visit to Guyana. The tattoo is by Iman Sara, a Pakistani artist who studied Miniatures, the ancient South Asian art form which gave her the skills and eye to create fine line tattoos. I was so impressed by how steady and controlled she was, as my tattoo is a stamp it has many fine straight lines. I requested the mountains to remind me of the Rupununi/Kanuku Mountains and water lily to represent our national flower. I wasnt able to see the Victoria Amazonica (second largest water lily in the world) but this tattoo is me manifesting seeing them next time Im there. Having the figure of a woman connects me through my maternal line to visiting where her, Aunt Shil and Nans were born. It was really great to meet Iman and have a chat getting to know about her practice and story. 

While at Tate Britain we walked around for a bit before my back started to hurt too much. We walked up the stairs and saw this incredible artwork by Chris Ofili called Requiem, a new 2023 commission which is inspired and commemorates Khadija Saye and her Mum who were two of the 72 people who were killed in the Grenfell Tower fire. Every life lost is the tragedy, every life cut short in an avoidable situation. Below Ofili talks about a shared sadness and it really does resonate with anyone who saw the horrors unfold. Her best friend, Trans icon Charlie Craggs I shared a panel with many years ago and have been a fan of ever since has shared her own memories and grief for Khadija and her mum. The people who allowed for this time happen should be held accountable and punished for their greed and lack of humanity.

I was blown away by the beauty and scale of this work. There is a delicacy in the softness of the pencil or crayon marks which have been increased to fit the space. The below is copied from the information at the gallery about the further context of this artwork.

“REMEMBERING KHADIJA SAYE

Andichurai is from Saye's series of self-portraits Dwelling: in this space we breathe. Using herself as the subject, she drew on her Gambian British heritage to perform rituals using sacred objects. The series was created from a personal need for spiritual grounding after experiencing frauma. The work on display here is a screenprint created from scans of the original tintype series. In it, Saye holds an andichurai la Gambian incense pot) to her ear. This object was precious to Saye, as it belonged to her mother. Incense burners are commonplace in Gambian households, used for protection and believed to drive away evil spirits. Saye used a labour-intensive tintype process in which an emulsion is applied to a metal plate. The wet plate is then placed in a camera and exposed to light. The process is easily affected by elements outside the artist's control. This was significant to Saye, who said, the process of image making became a ritual in itself... you surrender yourself to the unknown, similar to what is required by all spiritual higher powers: surrendering and sacrifice. Each tintype has its own unique story to tell, a metaphor for our individual human spiritual journey! Saye was an advocate for greater diversity in the arts. She said, 'If you don't see yourself represented then you don't think you can do it. It's the idea of opening the door for the next generation'. Khadija Saye and her mother, Mary Mendy, died in the Grenfell Tower fire in June 2017.”

“CHRIS OFILI REQUIEM.

Requiem pays tribute to Khadija Saye and remembers the tragedy of the Grenfell Tower fire. Tate commissioned British artist Chris Ofili to create an artwork for the staircase beyond this threshold. Ofili considered the significance of painting directly onto the walls of a public building and wanted to choose a subject that affected us as a nation. Requiem is a dream-like mural, resulting from his poetic reflections. Ofili met fellow artist Khadija Saye in May 2017 when they were both exhibiting in Venice. One month later, Saye died in the Grenfell Tower fire. Memories of their meeting had a profound impact on Ofili. It helped him find a path to create this work, which holds at its centre an image of Saye as a powerful creative force of transformation: When making this artwork, Ofili recalled the feelings he had when he made No Woman, No Cry in 1998. No Woman, No Cry is a tribute to Stephen Lawrence and his mother, Doreen. Stephen was murdered in a racially motivated attack in 1993. For Ofili, 'a statement of sadness was manifested in No Woman, No Cry. That feeling of injustice has returned! '1 wanted to make a work in tribute to Khadija Saye. Remembering the Grenfell Tower fire, I hope that the mural will continue to speak across time to our collective sadness.'”

“THE GRENFELL TOWER FIRE

On 14 June 2017, a devastating fire broke out at Grenfell Tower in west London, killing 72 people, including 18 children. It was the greatest loss of life in a residential fire since the Second World War. A Public Inquiry was set up in the wake of the fire. It found that the tower's exterior cladding failed to meet safety standards, making the fire spread more quickly and leading to many avoidable deaths. This prompted wider concerns about building safety in high-rise blocks across the country and highlighted significant social inequality in one of the wealthiest parts of London. Systemic failures were found across the organisations responsible for building standards and safety: from the construction industry to regulators, the fire service, the local authority, and the government, which has formally apologised. The deadly effects of the blaze, the toxic smoke and the obstacles to escape have been a consistent feature of survivors' testimony. The bravery of those who endured the fire that night and the avoidable nature of the tragedy have been widely recognised. The Public Inquiry concluded in November 2022 but a criminal investigation into the cause of the fire is ongoing. Survivors and bereaved families from the Grenfell Tower fire continue their campaign for justice.”