December 2023

This year Christmas is cancelled in Bethlehem, the birthplace of Jesus and where the nativity scene would have been. Palestinian Christian leaders from Bethlehem in the Occupied West Bank have said there will be no Christmas decorations or festivities out of solidarity with the people of Gaza. While their fellow Palestinian people in Gaza are being bombed, starved, dehydrated, disabled and displaced, they feel there is no time for Christmas cheer. 

We havent got our Christmas tree or decorations out this year either. We will be grateful to share a meal together as household and celebrate Grandpa Noel’s birthday but we havent felt festive this year. It isnt time to be cheerful when the nativity scene in Bethlehem is a pile of rubble with a baby Jesus wrapped up in a keffiyah. It isnt time to sing about peace in the world while Palestinians dont know peace day and night from bombings and IOF harassment. 

“Rev. Munther Isaac and his congregation at the Evangelical Lutheran Christmas Church chose this year to make a statement about the killing of so many children in Gaza. Using broken cement and paving stones, they placed the baby Jesus in the center of a pile of debris from a collapsed home, inspired by television images of children being pulled from the rubble, Issac says. "I always say we need to de-romanticize Christmas," he says. "In reality, it's a story of a baby who was born in the most difficult circumstances and the Roman Empire under occupation, who survived the massacre of children himself when he was born. So the connection was natural to us." - NPR article There's no Christmas in Bethlehem this year. With war in Gaza, festivities are off. 

For the third year in a row I have collated 9 of my 2023 Highlights as a way to practice gratitude and reflect on my personal and professional achievements. As a disabled artist who is currently unable to work, the professional achievements have dwindled year by year but I have always been someone to try to recognise the small victories not just the big ones. 

1. Sam and Vince’s Wedding. To experience a Guyanese/Trini wedding in New York was such a fun adventure. We bonded as a family, especially Sam’s parents, Naana, siblings and nieces. My heart was so full and we made memories I’ll never forget. Seeing Josh perform a song and have such love poured into him was something I will treasure as well, we get to see him all the time but to share his talents with others made me so proud. I cant wait to make even more memories in the future. 
2. Our First Time Visiting Guyana. This isnt just a highlight of 2023 its probably a highlight of my/our entire lives. It was our first time visiting but definitely not our last. Now Im homesick for Guyana and cant wait to go back and see so much more of its beauty. Boat rides in the Essequibo river, surrounded by the Amazon rainforest, to horseback riding in the South Rupununi Savannah, swimming in Nickolas’ lake and hanging out with Hydra the Capybara, all with my brother and cousins. Im just so so lucky we got to share those experiences.
3. Patch 10th Anniversary. In June/July 2013 I launched my handmade patches and the rest is history. They went viral on tumblr, were stolen by big corporations and small independent shops alike. I made thousands and sent them all over the world. Its because of my patches that I began to grow a platform online, and I’ll always be grateful for them as part of my journey. Embroidering those small words and images, using calico and colourful felt was the foundation of my artistic practice. 
4. Barbie Midnight Screening. Me and the girlies went to a midnight screening of the Barbie movie at the Rio Cinema, Hackney which was hosted by T Girls on Film where Trans Women went for free. It was a gorgeous night of fun, pink, laughs and joy. I felt so warm and fuzzy inside being surrounded by so many beautiful Queer people coming together just for a fun evening. 
5. Completed 3 years of monthly newsletters. I cant believe for 36 months I have written and drawn my life, showing art Ive made, political fuckery and exhibitions I’ve visited. Its more like a journal and diary for me but I appreciate that people want to read it and see what I have to say. 
6. Second Public Art Commission. This one I was really proud of, not even necessarily the final artwork but what it represents. Its in my local borough, in an area which has been disregarded and misjudged because its more working class. The project saw many shop fronts covered in artwork to create a 24/7 public art gallery. I was proud to be able to work with Kiani in creating a mural which represents his gadget repair business, as well as money transfer, key cutting and clothing alteration services.
7. Started to learn Hindi. This started because I designed an artwork with the Hindi alphabet on it, and I realised I have no idea how this is actually written, I was just tracing it. I dont know what possessed me to download duolingo as I was convinced Id never be able to learn a language (due to smoking weed and not thinking I have the brain power). Here I am 300+ day streak  later, with a decent understanding of the alphabet and some basic words. Im hoping to get back into in next year as I have become a bit slower and demotivated since having Covid and going to Guyana.
8. Met so much family. I have put an Italy flag because we were united with Dads cousin and her son who live in Italy. They visited us in July and its like we knew eachother our whole lives. We made so many fun memories at Legoland, the Science Museum and going to Hampstead. The American flag represents the wedding we went to where me met so many first and second cousins on Mums side of the family and finally the Guyanese flag where we met our Uncle Ramesh and Aunty Anita (Ramesh is Nan’s first cousin). Our heart was burst open with all the love and connections we made this year.
9. Submitted to my first community quilt. Personally something which has made me happy was contributing to a community quilt (yet to be made) but part of the ethos of quilting lends itself well to collaboration. Its important for me, who feels such isolation to connect to people, especially over an important cause like Queer or Trans Joy.

After seeing Josh do his first paid gig in July, seeing him perform a set in an iconic venue which has seen Jimi Hendrix, Paul Simon, Joni Mitchel, Adele, Ed Sheeran and Paolo Nutini grace the stage made me so so proud. We headed to the Troubadour not far from Earls Court station. Zoe Maia (Joshes wonderful and talented girlfriend) hosted and curated three events at this venue and this was the third, which featured Josh and another guy Tommy Blu on the line up with Zoe headlining. It was so amazing to see Josh performing with their talented friend Mem playing bass. Joshes stage presence was unreal and he looked so comfortable and free up on the stage.

Josh said about this performance: The second half of this year has been eye opening for me. I have shifted a lot of the mental dead weight, cast away many lurking evil thoughts and started to feel more comfortable in my own skin. If my gig, a couple of months ago, at Morocco Bound was me 'coming out' then this performance Troubadour London was certainly me 'becoming'. My current journey has been a lifetime in the making but it's only really been the last 3 years where I've actively worked hard to build up the strength, confidence and self belief to actually feel comfortable with bright purple light shining on me. I'm using this post as a small celebration of my victories and to candidly say that I'm proud of myself for stepping into this version of me.”

Zoe was incredible headlining the night, she had Mem on Bass and Lauric on Drums while she played guitar. I have never heard them play with other musicians before and it added such a different energy to their music. Zoe even got an encore at the end. So proud of them. Here are some beautiful photographs taken by their friend Ryan Smith.

In October me and Mollie excitedly went to the Wallace Collection to see the Portraits of Dogs: From Gainsborough to Hockney exhibition. 

“Dog portraiture developed as an artistic genre contemporaneously with its human counterpart – dogs are represented in the earliest cave paintings alongside humans – and it flourished, particularly in Britain, from the 17th century onwards. More than any other nationality perhaps, the British have both commissioned and collected portraits of dogs.”

I couldn’t pass up on the opportunity to see some historical dog paintings, as I love historical portraits and paintings in general. The exhibition showcased how over hundreds (and thousands of years) humans have been bonded with dogs not only for friendship and companions but also with jobs and duties. Over the years, dogs have been used in paintings as metaphors and allegories. I loved reading the backstories for each dog, who owned and loved them and wanted them immortalised in painting or sculpture. You can see the majority of artworks from the exhibition in my video but here are some highlights. The room full of David Hockney sausage dogs made me so happy. They made me think of when me and Grandma went to see his exhibition at Tate years ago. I wish I still had my fav gallery partner to go to exhibitions with.

1. Low Life/ A Jack in Office by Edwin Landseer (1802-1873)

Mid-19th century, Oil on canvas.

With a puff of a clay pipe and a haughty wink, this 'jack in office' leaves us with a striking impression of his human counterpart - an officious minor bureaucrat. With the natural self-assured qualities of the Jack Russell terrier reflecting those of the official, and those of the official reflecting those of the terrier, this painting exemplifies the powerful metaphorical abilities of dog portraiture.

2. Dog Painting by David Hockney 1995

3. Queen Victoria's Spaniel "Tilco' by Edwin Landseer (1802-1873)

1838, Oil on board

As if having just dashed through the royal apartments and made off with a quill and letter, Tilco has been caught in a moment of mischievousness in this painting by Landseer. Playfully, he holds the pen in his mouth and the paper between his paws, as if mimicking Queen Victoria writing her correspondence, A Sussex spaniel, Tilco was given to the queen by the 4th Earl of Albemarle in 1838.

4. Tristram and Fox By Thomas Gainsborough (1727-1788)

About: 1775-85, Oil an canvas

Gainsborough, famed for his portraits of society sitters, has here portrayed his spaniel and collie, Tristram and Fax, as if they are posing for a family portrait. The low viewpoint, along with details like the twinkling eyes, emphasises their intelligence. Gainsborough thought so dearly of the dogs that, after quarrelling with his wife, he would sometimes write apologetically to her as Fox. He would then address the letter to Tristram and Fox would deliver the letter in his mouth.

5. Portrait of Fanny, a favourite Dog By James Ward (1769-1859)

1822, Oil on panel

Fanny, a Manchester terrier, was the beloved dog of Eliza Soane, the wife of architect John Soane. Following Eliza's death, Fanny and the grieving Soane developed a close friendship. After the dog died, Soane made two highly personal commemorations that resonated with his profession and interests. He built her an elaborate tomb from architectural fragments and commissioned this painting from Ward, which places Fanny at the centre of a fantasy archaeological landscape.

6. Turk, a Dog belonging to the Duke of Rutland By George Stubbs (1724-1806)

1778, Oil on panel

Stubbs worked for the 4th Duke of Rutland, too, and was chosen to portray one his favourite dogs, Turk, who was possibly a keeshond or spitz-type breed.

Here, Stubbs has used his observational skills to create an impression of the size and power of the dog, alongside details that give a sense of depth, like the thick fur. The dog's rugged appearance has been complemented by the bleak moorland backdrop.

7. Laying down the Law or Trial by Jury By Edwin Landseer (1802-1873)

About 1840, Oil on canvas

One of Landseer's most successful works, this painting satirises the legal profession and its long and costly procedures. The composition uses various dog breeds to characterise court officials and their interactions. Presiding is a poodle impersonating a wig-wearing judge. Exhibited at the Royal Academy in 1840, the painting was later bought by the 6th Duke of Devonshire, who asked Landseer to add his Blenheim spaniel, Bony, to the scene behind the greyhound on the left.

Britain lost one of our greatest poets, an Anarchist, Rastafarian, Dyslexic Poet of Jamaican and Bajan origin. Benjamin Zephaniah was born in Birmingham and struggled with school due to his Dyslexia and racism. He grew up around Jamaican music and politics related to anti-empire which inspired him and his poetry from a young age. He was an anti-racism activist, vocally supporting a Free South Africa and Free Palestine. I was lucky enough to see him and his band performing at the famous Jazz Cafe twice over the years. His love, passion and talent was loud and clear. It was political, powerful, yet fun and lively as is so common in much of my favourite reggae music. Music which comes from struggle and fighting against oppressive systems. Most people have a stereotypical view of the Caribbean being all sunshine and palm trees and the ocean, but people from the region know that our societies were built of oppression, the labour of Enslaved African people and murder of Indigenous peoples. My favourite quote from him is so simple and succinct, he said it on The Big Narstie Show about Empire: “The OBE means Order of the British Empire, MBE is Member of the British Empire.  I’ve been fighting against empire all my life. I’ve been fighting against slavery and colonialism all my life. I’ve been writing to connect to people not to impress governments and monarchy. So how could I then go and accept an honour that puts the word empire on to my name? That would be hypocritical.” You can watch more of the clip HERE and read a beautiful and personal tribute HERE

I have included some of his poems below. Poetry isnt some pompous medium of creativity, it is part of human expression and he never whitewashed himself. He wrote his poems how he spoke and that makes it so relatable and important for the people across the world to know it is possible. 

Over the past 2 months, 90 (i believe that number is now over 100) Palestinian journalists and press workers were killed in Gaza.  This doesnt include 3 Lebanese journalist also targeted by Israel. Over 20 years in the Vietnam War 63 journalists were killed. During 6 years of World War II 69 journalist were killed. It’s completely indefensible the scale at which Israel is targeting not only civilians but also vital press, medical and humanitarian worker. These journalists are showcasing the depraved violence their people are facing, day in day out. Israel has barely allowed Western journalists into Gaza despite them wanting to report from the ground.  What kind of so called democracy assassinates journalists and their families? Probably not a democracy at all. More like an Apartheid State that wants to keep the truth of the violence they are inflicting on the people they are occupying a secret from the world. Destroying the people documenting the genocide of their families, friends, neighbours and community as a whole. Without these people we would not see the true violence being inflicted on innocent people, and thats exactly why Israel has targeted them. The West lack any moral standing when they support a society who targets journalists. Meanwhile the West engages in McCarthyism towards those who show support for and solidarity with Palestinians and their fight for liberation from Apartheid Rule. Truth will prevail. 

I made these drawings about a Palestinian woman by the name of Mahfoutha Shtayyeh who in 2004 was photographed crying and hugging an Olive tree, that had been destroyed by Israeli military standing in the background of the picture. Nature and how we connect to it is of the upmost importance, especially in the face of a climate crisis. Indigenous people across the globe have cared, loved, protected and appreciated the nature we share this globe with for millennia. Imperial, colonial people seek to destroy nature, destroy the planet, destroy peoples lives and futures. 

After going to the Portrait of Dogs exhibition me and Mol headed to East London to go see an exhibition in a usually closed to the public house in the Spitalfields area. The area was fields and gardens until around the mid 1600s when the arrival of French Huguenot refugees made a home there,  creating a thriving silk industry with their skills. I have French Huguenot refugee ancestors but unfortunately they went to colonise to USA. After the late 1800s, with the decline of the silk industry, the houses and area became a slum and Jewish refugees moved in. They found the houses with large windows to be suitable for their won trade - tailoring. By the late 1900s after Jewish people had moved to other parts of London, Bangladeshi immigrants moved in also working in the textile industry.

The exhibition was early works of Christo where his signature style of wrapping objects in plastic was scattered throughout the many floors of 4 Princelet Street. 

My Great Grandma Elizabeth was an intersectional feminist, teacher and anti-war peace activist. She wrote a two page biography for her grandchildren and descendants to read to know what she was like and what she achieved and cared about in her life. My Great Grandpa Fred was a lawyer and actually went to Japan after WWII when Japanese war criminals were on trial, my Great Grandma, and their two youngest children (including my Grandma) lived there for less than a year. From her biography: “When we were in Japan I contacted Tano Jōdai, who was a former president of the Japanese Section (of the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom). A meeting was arranged at the Nippon Toshi Dai Gakko (I believe this is now Tokyo City University). Tano later visited us in the United States and she became president of the Japan’s Women’s University in Tokyo.”

I believe Great Grandma mentioned her in this biography as she must have been an important comrade and inspiration. Great Grandma joined the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom in 1945 when she was 39 years old, and would eventually become a board member for over 20 years. She also was editor of the monthly publication and went to the first anti-Vietnam War protest in Washington DC in 1965. 

Tano Jōdai was born in Shimane, Japan in 1886. She studied English Literature at the Japan’s Women’s University. After not being allowed to continue her studies at Tokyo Imperial University due to her gender, she was able to get onto a course at Wells College in New York. She returned to Japan after her studies and became a professor at Japan’s Women’s University, the first person to teach American Literature and History in Japan. She soon founded the Japanese Women’s Peace Association which later became the Japanese Section of the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom. Between 1956 and 1965 she was the president of Japan’s Women’s University, encouraging people to access the library freely. She died in 1982 after a lifetime of pioneering education and peace activism. 

I wanted to highlight my Great Grandma, and also Tano Jōdai because of my personal connection to someone who was a such a vocal opponent of war and nuclear weapons. We often talk about connecting to our ancestors and having them guide us. I am proud to know that my Great Grandma was a peace activist, and valued voices of women from across the world. Her favourite part of teaching was working with people who didnt have English as their first language. She was an endlessly compassionate, caring and empathetic person and I wish I got to meet her and know her. I know she would be proud of me for using my voice and skills to stand up for people being bombed and murdered by an oppressive military state. 

The quote from Tano is especially poignant at this time where a war is being waged against the people of Gaza, and widely across Palestine by the Israeli Regime which has the financial and military backing of America and other Western Imperialist/Colonial governments. “We know the Vietnam Was cannot be solved by force, but through negotiations… in order to check the hopeless and useless continuation of the war, I believe we must no longer depend solely on the will of belligerent nations alone, but all the nations and peoples of the world should cooperate in one way or another in common service at this time of supreme crisis in Vietnam.” 1965. This makes me think of how most people in the world want a ceasefire and an end to the bombing on innocent people and Apartheid state but those in power are not listening and instead are selling weapons and giving their full support. The only way to achieve peace or an end to this war are negotiations and treaties. War and weapons and death and destruction will never be the answer. 

Henry Kissinger recently died at the big age of 100 after being instrumental in the death of so many innocent people in the Global South, including during the Vietnam War where he said bomb anything that moves. We know bombing innocent people is wrong, we know killing and dismembering and disabling innocent people is wrong, but warmongers get to live to old age and are praised by all across the political system. Palestinian people are the Vietnam Guerrilla fighters in this situation, fighting against a system which oppresses them and takes away their right to basic human dignities. They have the right to self defence under international humanitarian law.