How Perfectionism is

Blocking Your Weight Loss

Hello my friend,

Have you ever said to yourself, “unless I can do this perfectly, it’s not worth my effort?

This is one of the most common obstacles I see with women who are struggling to lose their weight for good,

This is known as “All or Nothing Thinking”, which is essentially powered by PERFECTIONISM.

How many of you identify as a “perfectionist” 🙋

Why it matters is because this could be a big reason why you aren’t taking ACTION.

When was the last time you said to yourself…..

“I know what to do, but I’m just not doing it!”

“I already “blew it today”, so I may as well just forget about it and start again tomorrow…. or Monday, …or next month -or in the New Year….. then I’ll be better… “

“I’ll start when I have more time, more bandwidth, or have less going on in my life.”

What if the answer is as simple as just getting started with your next best decision?

Our brain makes associations that aren't actually accurate. We THINK, “when the time is right, I’ll never overeat, or never have an urge for sugar or never miss a workout. …If I can’t do it perfectly, then, It doesn't “count”, and I need to start all over”

Why do we indulge in all or nothing thinking?

What’s the payoff?

When you choose to stop yourself from taking action towards your weight loss goals, it’s usually because in the back of your mind you’re thinking of several phrases you were told as you were growing up.

Things like:

“the only things worth doing is doing it 100 percent, or not at all
“If I can’t workout for more than 10 minutes, then it won’t be worth it”
“I consider myself an all or nothing person, if I can’t do it well, I may as well not do it at all”
“I already messed up, so the day is ruined”

…but what if it’s just NOT true?

These statements seem so rational, but they’re actually completely false.

But instead, we use them as evidence that it won’t be worth the EFFORT to get into action.

Of course the result we create is complete INACTION, with a load of negative self judgement to go along with it! 😝

My friend, the reason you think this way is because you identify as a person who is striving for excellence. You’re a remarkable woman with very high standards.

However, this belief system comes at a cost.

The payoff is you get to see yourself as having high standards, identify as a High Achiever, and therefore you want to avoid the feeling of discomfort that comes with being a beginner, or less than perfect.

BUT the COST is then you never get started.

So you build even more evidence that weight loss isn't in the cards for you, because you’re believing the lie that being “disciplined” is just for others, for people who really are “perfect”, not for you. 🙁

You never learn to feel the discomfort of taking messy, partial, imperfect ACTION.

What if I told you that messy, imperfect action is exactly what’s needed for weight loss?

Taking messy, imperfect action is the currency required to develop the reps necessary in order to create a sustainable habit.

Here’s the GREAT news!

The answer is so simple.

Just start questioning those debilitating thoughts.

You’ll recognize them now. When you notice yourself thinking, “I blew it, and now it’s too late”, here are my favorite solutions for this thought.

Ask yourself “can I just?” -

Can I just make the next best decision for what remains for my day?
I’ve made a decision never to shame myself for eating off of my plan. I simply notice when I do it, and track it for the data. I made a deal with myself NOT to make it mean any moral failing on my part.
Can I just be proud of myself for creating a plan in the first place?
Can I just be curious about why I decided not to eat on plan, and then learn from this to create a more doable plan?

Decide on a minimum baseline that you can celebrate as a win. Tell yourself this is enough. I am enough.

For example:

“I got my exercise clothes on today”
“I ate one less Oreo than I would have in the past”
“I have 15 minutes to exercise, and it’s enough, I moved my body today—yay!”
“I paused for 10 seconds before I chose to binge”

Create a protocol ahead of time -

Here are some of my examples:

I get migraines, so I’ve created a protocol of actions that I do when I’m not feeling my best. I go for a SLOW walk outside, drink lots of water, and lay on the couch in the dark with a cold compress.
I also have a stomach issue, so I created a food protocol specifically for those days.

Plan Ahead - Take a look at your week ahead. Consider how you’re feeling physically. Ask yourself what else is going on in your life? Anticipate obstacles ahead of time.

For example:

Maybe you have a big project you’re working on, so consider getting prepared foods that week. Getting take-out, or come up with simple doable solutions to help you eat as healthy as possible. Try not get caught up in the perfect quality of the food, but decide to focus on only eating when you’re physically hungry and stopping once you’ve had enough. Then promise yourself that tomorrow, or when the project is over, you’re going to make the next best decision.

Make a promise to yourself not to shame or berate yourself for what has passed. Remind yourself that you’re doing your best.

Notice the urge to slip back into all or nothing thinking

For example: Today I was doing a yoga workout, and was unable to do some of the poses, so I modified them to suit me. My intention is to see if I can do a little bit better each time I do that same workout, and then celebrate my improvement.
I also celebrated the fact that I was willing to attempt this yoga class. I FOR SURE was not doing it perfectly but my body felt great, and I got such amazing benefits of taking time to focus on myself for a bit.
Notice how you’re talking to yourself if you’re not doing the thing perfectly
One phrase that has been so powerful for me is: “this is how I get stronger”

Ask yourself what’s the easiest, quickest way to get done what I need to get done. Is there any way to make it easier, or quicker? Is there something I can omit in order to make this task a little bit smaller?

I value my identity as a person who keeps promises to herself.

If I want to develop a habit of writing down what I eat each day, and miss something, I don’t make it mean anything. Or if I don’t do my daily plan first thing in the morning, in the past I would just “throw in the towel” for the rest of the day.

NOW I remind myself that there’s still time left in the day.. I get to make the next best decision for me. This feels amazing and powerful, and helps me have agency over what decisions I WANT to make moving forward.

Letting go of what I think I SHOULD be doing and allowing my life to look a little messy, and remind myself that the key is consistency.

Ask yourself the question, “am I willing to do this when I’m 80?’.if the answer is NO, then perhaps take a look at your process.

If on any day I slipped back into old habits, I remind myself this is NORMAL. It’s not a moral judgment on myself.

It takes courage to be willing to show up imperfectly. To be willing to be a beginner and feel awkward, and like it’s not good enough.

But the truth is.. You’re already ENOUGH.

When you’re thinking, but “it’s not good enough”, you’ll know you’re on the right track! 😉

Be patient. This work takes practice, courage, and compassion.

You’ve got this!

Amy