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Q. Did you hear about the depressed surfer?  
A. He was feeling sub-DUDE!  
photo: telia nevile
 
I'm So Lonely - Single Version out Oct 7. PRE-SAVE LINK HERE...
 
LAST TIME YOU CRIED
💧 💧 💧 💧 💧 💧 💧
 
Since 2005 I have always included the form field 'Last Time You Cried' on my mailing list sign up page. Here, for the first time, I'd like to share some of the recent emotional data with you. Full respect and blessings to all concerned. 


Ruby
This morning when I read about people all over the world booking airbnbs in Ukraine to show support and give funds directly to Ukrainians     
 
Chris
I wasn't crying I tell you...There must have been something got in my eye! Okay!
 
Benjamin
The summer of 1642
 
Elise
When a friend opened up to me almost two weeks ago.
 
Tully
Driving home after dark and seeing the rainbow icicle fairy lights in the trees at the top of our driveway for the first time.
 
Amorina
Half an hour ago, belting out Wait For It from Hamilton, thinking about how 'death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and we keep living anyway'.

No name 
Yesterday, after watching a show on how to make pecan pie.
 
Jesse
When it dawned on me there will ge no more elliot smith songs:(((
 
Kate
Realising that being your #1 fan on myspace has nothing to do with postmodernism
  
M
Yesterday - listening to "Middle Aged Mum"
 
Erin
That’s a secret!
 
Ingrid
Probably in the last week listening to RN. But a deep cry ... I don’t know
 
Jessica
This afternoon when I was looking at pictures of Otters holding hands.
 
Lou
Today…lockdown
 
Juniper
November…at a funeral :(
 
Anthony
I wasn’t crying while watching “You Can’t Ask That” on ABC. just happened to be chopping onions, honestly!
 
Julia
A long time ago on the outside, but every moment inside
 
Evan
Watching the lion King
 
Kelly
Feeling sad about some guy who already has a woman
 
Stuart
When the Lions lost to GWS
 
Aston
I'm a full grown man and I'm not afraid to cryyyy
 
Sean
I’ll let you know when I’ve finished.
 
Ruby
Are you lost available web request for information?? We can put your website on 1st page of Google to drive relevant traffic to your site. Let us know if you would be interested in getting analysis with detailed proposal. We can also schedule a call & wi

 
Tears are a cleaning service for the greater good.
You're golden.
 

I have two pieces in the forthcoming poetry anthology Admissions.
(Under my own name and The Bedroom Philosopher). 
It's about mental health / illness. It's pretty wild, if that's your cup of tea. 
It includes some of my favourite writers such as Darby Hudson and Paula Keogh. 
It comes out Oct 7 and I'll be helping to launch it at the RMIT Storey Theatre in Melbourne at 4pm as part of the Big Anxiety Forum.

More info HERE. 
 ⚡ In 2017 I put in a performance as an only child whose parents have been nullified by a dark, abstract force. It came quite naturally. 


j's art nenews

brought to you by Brooksie's Recycling & Rubbish Removal
 
  • I think I might move to Hobart. Does anyone know anyone there I can crash with or a gingerbread house I can pay $500 a week for? 
     
  • Gangster's Paradise was a huge track. After school I'd get a frozen coke and hot chips and study the ARIA chart from Brashs. I remember Coolio had a little triangle with a number 4 next to it, which meant quadruple platinum sales!

    I bought the cassingle. It had an instrumental version on the b-side which I was able to use in the high school talent contest. I came up with a parody called Parklands Paradise:

    As I walk through the corridors of A-Block
    I take a look at my watch and realise it's nine o'clock.
    Well I better get to my next class
    or Mr Michalek will kick my ass.

    17 years later I parodied the song again for my BP shows - only this time it was Hipster's Paradise.....

    As I walk in my volleys down Brunswick st
    I take a look at my life and realise it’s pretty neat.
    Cause I've been artin and fartin so long
    That even my ex girlfriend thinks my career is gone.

    RIP Coolio - Rap In Peace.
     
  • I'm doing really well. I'm a success. I had surgery on my right arm and hand as I developed Ulnar Nerve Syndrome. I had a submuscular transposition of the Ulnar Nerve, which is exactly what it sounds like. 

    Okay, okay. So basically, a carpel tunnel "type thing" in my right hand (from too much resting my hand on the mouse and poor computer ergonomics in a kitchen rental, I suppose, along with being 42 and ridiculous. Hey medicos - the Ulnar Nerve is probably the one you bump when you hit your funny bone.

    Well, that discomfort, or tenderness at least, lasted 18 months (and we concluded that I'd lost strength in my little finger and my hand would cramp up when strumming guitar, for example. Despite a lot of physio with the good folks at Melbourne Hand Rehab, I decided to go under. 

    A neurosurgeon operated on my beloved right arm, which I had taken for granted until recently. And it ALL WENT WELL. So, they moved the aforementioned nerve behind a muscle near my elbow so it wouldn't get pinched as much. Wish I had never told you that? Me too.

    Them's my adventures in vulnerability. I haven't played guitar for 18 months which is the longest break since grade 8 when I got bored with it for a while. I look forward to reknackering myself again somewhere soon in an emasculating fashion like tripping on a shoelace or falling off a swing. 
     
  • I got a lot of friends doing a lot of powerful creative work. Richard Cartwright from Richard In Your Mind has a new solo album called Daisy Lion. It smells like flowers. This song BLUE LOTUS is like, the best. 🌼 🦁
     
  • Meanwhile Conrad Greenleaf (also from Richard In Your Mind) has dropped his Dreamtape. It includes this sublimely gorgeous song and video directed by SPOD. 
     
  • Finally (it's happened to me right in front of my face and I just cannot hide it), my good pal Anthony Calvert (who was designer on UC's magazine Curio with me) is an excellent technical illustrator. He's just freelanced his socks off making images for a Washington Post article on the different types of travellers at airports. 
     
Catapulted from cassette - this 2002 interview finds a weedy, clever, madcap kid from Tassie camping out in Canberra mid-swing on an acoustic comedy songwriting blitz on Triple J's Morning Show with Francis Leach. 

JUSTIN'S SUPER FUN MOVIE AND TV RECOMMENDATIONS:

BROUGHT TO YOU BY MICRO MACHINES
 
0. I really enjoyed....come on Justin, remember.....

Better Than Us - the Russian robot drama on Netflix. Wait, what...Russian!? CANCEL THAT.

Then there is a bit of light to moderate The Old Man which is a great CIA action drama (but you'll need the subtitles on for Jeff Bridges. I'm not sure he can fully open his mouth). And then I thought - let's stay on the whole CIA action drama genre, so I ended up watching Slow Horses as well as the Ryan Gosling movie Gray Man which is also about, you guessed it - CIA agents (but a lot sort of simpler, but personally I found the action sequences really cool). 

See, to be honest I don't go in for a lot of emotional character sob stories and gritty haunting true crime harrowfests these days. I just like it when spies are trying to do things while cracking witty dialogue and having fast-paced action sequences. Call me flaky, or a psychological draft dodger - but that's how I like to spend my leisure hours. If they made a Top Gun or Days Of Thunder prequel, I'd probably watch that as well. 

1. If you're truly out of ideas maybe just watch Stand By Me again. (No, not a Netflix reboot - just the actual film from 1986). It's dated rather well. So have other 80s movies such as Electric Dreams or Starman, (the very little known Jeff Bridges vehicle about an alien landing on earth). See, there's a new TV Show called The Man Who Fell To Earth and I quite enjoyed the first three episodes but now it has annoyed me somehow. I do love a good sci-fi as long as it's not horror, so send in those tips. 

2. Having said all of that - I enjoyed the Sex Pistols docudrama AND the Rolling Stones doco - because when I'm not watching CIA action shows I'll likely wander over to the music documentary category and learn a lot about Sheryl Crow (see: Sheryl). 

3. Read a book. Ha ha yeah right. I tried to borrow the new Dave Eggers but because my arm was in a sling I couldn't even pick it up. I did enjoy the alternate title to this dystopian tech-parody satire The Every of 'Limitless Choice Is Killing The World' - yeah boi - that's my kinda Gen-X railing against smartphones that floats my boat on this sinking ship. 

 
ADS FROM TASMANIA FROM THE 1990s

happy cow
(By Claire Hollingsworth)
 
Buy me a Cornershop door hangar as a going away present

         (Where am I going?)

EMAIL SEGMENT  

🤖

From Brendan, 

"Just a shout out for congrats on 20 years of Bedroom Philosopher!!

Have been enjoying ur mailing list since I saw you MCing one of the tentapaloosa comedy shows at MICF mid 2000s.

Stand out gig would still have to be when you nailed Generation ABC supporting Peter Coombe at the Corner,  it was a gig I'll never forget and will always hold a special place in my heart.

I look forward to them whenever your emails come out and always love reading them, it always always brightens up even the sh$$tiest of days."

🤖

From Glenn. 

"20 years ago?! Time flies, and your email made me reminisce of your shows. The one I recall most vividly would have been circa 2006 in Sydney, at some place (I think near Central) that had some lit-up multi-colored floor. 

I still have your CDs, albeit tucked away in storage with all other CDs before and since; since, well, I don’t have a CD player in the house anymore. But I do have them. When I dig them out I’ll send a pic as proof of life, so to speak.

I’m glad you’re still at it, Justin. And thanks for the trip down memory lane! 20 years… :)"

🤖
 
"All By My Shelf" - my latest article about listening to music on ones own.
I'm So Lonely - Single Version out Oct 7. PRE-SAVE LINK HERE...
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Justin Heazlewood // The Bedroom Philosopher · 11 Knock Knock Drive · Cassingle, Northern Territory 0820 · Australia

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