My kids make some of the most creative, cute, functional crafts I’ve ever seen. I’m talking about a mini-backpack made of paper and gift ribbon (like the kind we wore in the 90s that’s apparently making a comeback), teeny tiny doll cardboard-and-toothpick ottomans, and itty bitty plates of doll food made out of clay.
These cute objects’ inanimate lifespans all follow the same trajectory: First, they are created with whimsy and enthusiasm. Second, they are played with for anywhere from one hour to one week, tops. Third, they fill me with white-hot rage and I throw them away.
You might be asking how my own children’s creations could ignite this level of anger in me. It’s because I always find them strewn on the floor no matter how many times I request (read: nag) that my kids clean up, then I end up cleaning them up myself while silently (and sometimes not so silently) wondering how I became the de facto maid. It’s also because I clearly have more work to do in therapy.
Sometimes while rage-cleaning, I think, “They don’t even USE these things! They just make them and leave them on the floor to collect dust!!!” I also think some other things I can’t write in this email, lest your spam filter send it directly to your junk folder.)
Yesterday it occurred to me that my kids’ messes are actually kind of beautiful. My girls are still at the ages where they lose themselves in the joy of creating for its own sake. They’re not riddled with anxiety, waiting for the next good idea to come, worrying whether they’ll ever have another good idea, or freaking out because their creation didn’t “work.” At eight and 10, with no phones or social media accounts, they’re not trying to sell anything or impress anyone. They’re just playing.
Play doesn’t have to be making miniature doll accouterments. For me, play is sitting down to write something that’s purely for fun (with juicy prompts courtesy of Abby Rasminsky’s Substack newsletter). It’s baby talking to the dog while petting her under her jaw the way she likes. It’s playing 20 questions with one of my kids. It’s volunteering to take them rollerskating (partly) so I can lace up my skates and feel like I’m back at my friends’ United Skates of America middle school birthday parties.
Yes, I’ll probably continue to purge my kids’ crafts whenever I step on them and notice no one has played with them for a while. But I’m hoping I can dial back the rage and remember what these little inventions represent.
Play serves as a sacred reminder that pleasure matters. It’s a way to reconnect with yourself, your curiosity, and your heart’s desires. In a world that is telling us to constantly be productive, we need time for play. And if it helps, please consider this email a permission slip to take that time.
I’d love to know - what kind of play are you engaging in these days? (All you have to do is hit reply, it’s just me, on the other side of this email.)
xo,
P.S. Do you feel like you're not "allowed" to eat the foods that bring you joy, or that you can only have them if you've met certain conditions? I've got permission slips for that, too. Click here to learn more.
4 Things Worth Checking Out
If you have a minute:My TikTok video on the life-changing magic of going on vacation as an intuitive eater (and if you liked it, give it a like and follow me on TikTok, pretty please?)
If you have 4 minutes: Babette Dungelgrün's beautiful personal essay on healing her body image with some help from Mother Nature.
If you have an hour: Lori King literally swam with a Great White shark all the way from Block Island, RI to Montauk, NY and she is one of the most renowned open-water swimmers around. We discussed eating disorder recovery, navigating Guillain Barre syndrome, and endurance swim training on a recent episode of Real Fit.
If you have 6 minutes: The New York Times reported on something larger-bodied people have long known: anorexia affects people of all sizes.
The Real Fit podcast features real conversations with women athletes on topics like body image and confidence, my goal is to share stories that will let you know you're not alone and that you're already enough.
Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to juicy podcasts. New episodes every other Tuesday.
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