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As a curate in Tucson, Arizona, the new collar was a constant discomfort, touching my neck in the glaring sun of a Saturday afternoon. People from the parish were setting up for some event to raise money for missions, but across the street, one of our neighbors was having a very small yard sale of religious paraphernalia. The little brick patio homes are now gone, but even then, they were that particular desert old that seemed both eroding and permanent at the same time.
One of the members told me that the woman’s daughter holding the sale used to be a member but had moved away, only coming home to see her mother’s last few years turn to days and now to hours. It was more of a suggestion than information, so I walked across the street to peruse the odd collection of religious artifacts and see if my inexperience was wanted.
It was not my first visit, but the previous one was gruff, frustrated by illness, and a desert tact that rests between wary and mean. This time I was met by my neighbor’s daughter holding a statue of a saint, black-robed, tonsured or balding, with a raven at his feet holding something in its beak. She told me that this was from her mother and to come back later for last rites.
When she let me in later, it was her mother’s last hour, and she let me spend it with her in prayer. She offered me her life to hold up to God and a little book I carried until it fell apart.
While not my first introduction to the Rule of Saint Benedict, it was the one that started my study of him. I still have that statue, and I am still living by a simplified version of that rule.
A few weekends ago, I walked through a short exercise in writing a very simple rule of life with the clergy of the diocese. While the Rule of St. Benedict was written as a common pattern for a monastery, detailing ways of being, worship, roles, and order for a community, it became a standard introduction to a Gospel-shaped life for centuries. Benedict is the patron saint of Europe because his rule created little schools of living that became the foundation for rebuilding the West after Rome’s collapse, giving life shape and order to life for millions.
What we aim to write in our own rule of life is far more modest, of course, but with the same eye toward a compassionate order to our life with God, our families, and our communities.
I have lived by some form of my own rule of life for decades now, and while I tweak it a little once or twice a year, it has settled into a distinct form that guides me daily. And yes, I do get away from it and return to it regularly, just like we promise to do in our baptismal covenant, from which the commitments of any rule of life should rise.
So here is my short form for writing your own little rule—four sections of a series of statements. These statements are both descriptive and prescriptive. They describe what I do and are meant to push me toward spiritual growth and health. Some of them are permanent; these are usually the ones that deal with eternal things. Some of them get adjusted over time; these usually deal with more temporal things.
As with all things, this should only be undertaken in prayer, with a Bible in one hand and a pen in the other.
Section 1. The “I am” statements: relationships and roles
This section is almost permanent, and any change here is going to reflect a significant change in my life. I sometimes tweak the order or some particular descriptor, but everything here should be a major part of your life and long-term, if not permanent.
This section is comparable to Benedict’s introduction or prologue. It sets the purpose of our lives. These statements begin at the center of who I am and move outward. All of this is vocational in some sense, concerning my life’s call (Latin vocare).
I am a man of God.
I am a follower of Jesus.
I am alive in the Spirit.
I am Amy’s husband.
. . .
I am a shepherd in God’s pastures, a bishop of the Episcopal church.
I am the bishop of Upper South Carolina.
. . .
I am a writer.
I am a teacher of the faith.
. . .
Your number of statements here may vary, and this selection from my rule is incomplete. But your list should fall between being all-encompassing of roles and few enough to give focus to your life. For example, your job might not affect your identity in Christ, whereas certain friendships may be so central as to make your list. Some things may require examination. For years, I saw myself as a poet; it was vital during my teens and young adulthood, but as a parent, that was far from central to my life or self-understanding. These statements should give a real sense of who you are in relation to others.
Section 2. The “I am” statements: intentions and ambitions
This section looks at what I think of as the guidelines of life. If you have ever tied down a boat in a storm or a tent in the wind, you know you have to set the anchors deep and tie them tight. These are basic intentions or affirmations on one level, but when you start to remove them, you see how important they are; things might come loose in the storm.
The first section focuses on your relationships, roles, and your life’s purpose, but this one focuses on the deep choices that shape the kind of person you are.
In the last section, I named my role as a husband, but in the one I am naming my intentions about how I believe I am to be in that role. These statements can grow to be everything about every part of you. The trick here is to cut this down to as few as possible. And then order them.
I am strong.
I am humble.
I am healthy.
I am compassionate.
I am kind.
. . .
Again, these statements are descriptive of you and can also be prescriptive. Some of them should just be true, but a couple of them should be strong enough to make you squirm a little bit. The goal is not guilt but growth, though guilt is a definite possibility when you challenge yourself in the right places.
In writing your own rule of life, I would suggest that these should be as few as possible. If the person closest to you sees this list, would they recognize you in these few lines? Would they realize where you see yourself needing to grow?
Section 3. The Practices
This section delineates what was in the first section with a list of practices that go with each statement. Again, it is important to consider how much and how often you can commit to each, knowing that you will fail some of the time but now want to overreach so that you can succeed the vast majority of the time.
It is best to start with a list that includes practices for every area of your life. Sometimes that is a weekly call to parents or an annual retreat, but then you should review and trim each commitment carefully.
I worship daily, weekly, annually.
I do the Daily Office twice a day, at least once with Amy.
I go to Eucharist at least once a week.
I go on retreat annually, where I am not in charge.
. . .
I workout every day.
I run three times per week.
I lift at least twice per week.
. . .
I write daily. 1000 words.
I read daily, at least one chapter of the Bible daily and at least one chapter of another work.
. . .
This list should be visible when you plan your day or week. A friend used to post his list over the sink where he brushed his teeth. He would pick what he would do daily while brushing and write it down afterward. This is the practical part. It relates to Benedict’s prescriptions for which Psalms would be sung each hour. You will fail, but it is better to fail at writing 1000 words a day than to fail at kindness. Even Benedict put exceptions and flexibility into the Rule.
Section 4. Random bits
This has included everything from two poems to a series of stream-of-consciousness collections of ideas in the last ten years. This is where I get a little creative and hold onto things I have collected that I think are part of who I want to be. This section changes pretty much every year.
Final Thoughts
This little exercise in writing the rule can take me a couple of days, and I have often done it while on vacation with my family during the Twelve Days of Christmas. The last couple of years has demanded mid-year revisions, as you might imagine, but only in the particulars. Writing it gets easier each year, but living it is always humbling.
The raven with Benedict has to do with a story about a raven saving him from poisoned bread, but it reminds me instead of Elijah fleeing into the wilderness. While Elijah was journeying, God sent the raven to feed him in the wilderness.
When we begin to follow God into the wilderness of our daily lives, we discover that God tends to us where we are. God calls us in our lives, roles, hopes, and dreams to live faithfully as followers of Jesus. The Rule of Benedict guided people for centuries, and I commend it to you. This little exercise is how we can begin to make our faith a daily reality in our lives now.
In the desert years ago, I began a journey with the Rule of Benedict as an unexpected gift, like bread from the raven for the prophet. God will provide for you along the Way in unforeseen ways.
I will see you out there.
In the last two weeks, the Bishop gathered with the clergy of the diocese to renew their vocation. The priests went through a version of this exercise in light of their ordination vows, and the deacons looked at formation and call as they prepared to train new deacons for the Diocese.
This past week the bishop has been in Sewanee at the University of the South for the annual trustees meeting. The Diocese of Upper South Carolina has been a constituent member of the school since its founding. As a trustee, it was an important time to experience how the University examines its past and looks to the future. It was inspirational as we look forward to our 100th Anniversary Celebration and Convention this year.
The past two Sundays, the Rt. Rev. Daniel Richards was at St. John’s in Congaree and Gravatt for the Cursillo closing service on October 2nd. Congratulations to those making their first Cursillo at 143! Then he was at Good Shepherd in Greer.
Sunday, he will be at St. Micheal and All Angels, Columbia.
We are with the Rev. Dr. Harrison McLeod and his family as we remember his mother the Rt. Rev. Mary Adelia McLeod, Ninth Bishop of Vermont, who died this week at her home in Charleston, West Virginia, after a long illness.
You can read more about Bishop Mary Adelia’s life in the obituary below. Please join me in praying for the repose of her soul, for her husband, the Rev. Mac McLeod and their family, and for all who mourn.
O God of grace and glory, we remember before you this day our sister Mary Adelia. We thank you for giving her to us, her family and friends, to know and to love as a companion on our earthly pilgrimage. In your boundless compassion, console us who mourn. Give us faith to see in death the gate of eternal life, so that in quiet confidence we may continue our course on earth, until, by your call, we are reunited with those who have gone before; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
https://diovermont.org/2022/10/12/in-memorial-the-rt-rev-mary-adelia-rosamond-mcleod/Bishop McLeod’s obituary can be found here:
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