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Dear instructors,
We are truly grateful and touched by the care you are extending to students. All the gestures of kindness and concern affirm our community and create the holding space for the healing work before us.
We hope the strategies listed below will support you as you prepare to engage with students in the days ahead.
- Carolyn Schuyler, LCSW, Visiting Scholar
While it is necessary to acknowledge the tragic gun violence and the devastating loss of classmates and to create space for connecting with the emotions and needs of students, we recognize not everyone feels equipped for this work or is inclined to go there for a variety of reasons. We hope this information provides enough suggestions to help you arrive at an approach that works for you.
To guide your decisions, consider asking for quick feedback from your students. This brief Google Form is one way to get a read on your students’ needs before class. Being prepared to meet students where they are is worth the time and thought. Points to consider:
- In times of turmoil, predictability and structure are vitally important. Students will benefit from the structure and predictability you provide.
- Sharing feelings and discussing the tragic events may be too overwhelming for some students, so it is important to make clear students have choice in how they participate. Opting out is perfectly acceptable. Welcome and invite direct feedback.
- It may be wise to send an email to your students to let them know what to expect when they return to class. A Google Form, such as this example, may be adequate to assess the needs of the class before sending a proposed class agenda. You may make clear that the plan is subject to change based on the evolving input and needs of the class.
- You may be concerned students will be overwhelmed if every class includes similar processing and discussion, but it is better to err on the side of providing support than to overlook student needs. This is such a significant event. Having multiple spaces to process the experience is likely to be more beneficial than not.
Below you will find a suggestion for the first class back and a list of alternative approaches for acknowledging the tragic event. All suggestions may be adapted for office hour meetings or for classes.
First Class Back: Normalize Feelings
It is natural to experience a wide range of fluctuating emotions in response to the events of the last few days. Some students may present as highly emotional and distressed, while others may appear shut down and numb. Many will question why they are not feeling strong emotion at all. Normalizing all reactions paves the way for open sharing and the healing power of community.
In greeting students when they come back to class, you might begin by naming and honoring those students we lost on Sunday by stating their names slowly with reverence.
"In honor of the beloved students we lost on Sunday, I would like to take a moment to say their names. Please join me in honoring them and their loved ones. Devin Chandler. Lavel Davis Jr. D'Sean Perry." (Read the names slowly or invite a student to do so.)
After allowing for a moment of silence, briefly share how you have been processing the news. This gives permission for the students to reflect on their own experiences and shows that you have their needs in mind.
"I have been holding all of you in my thoughts in the last few days. I notice that I have deep concern about the rise of gun violence and its cost for your generation, and I find myself reflecting on how it may be impacting your worldview."
Secondly, take a moment to validate and normalize feelings. Make explicit your understanding of the wide range of reactions students may be experiencing.
"Whatever you are feeling, you can be sure you are not alone in that experience. There are others who are traveling this path right along with you. We can expect a range of reactions from outrage to anxiety to numbness. You may feel a wide range of feelings at different points and in different contexts. To process this experience, it is vital to connect with others and seek support as needed."
After this introduction, you may give the students the option for a 1) quiet moment of reflection or 2) time to journal for five minutes. Suggest a clear prompt such as: "I am _____." This sentence stem gives permission to go in any direction while centering the writing on the self.
Following the reflection time or journal writing, ask a few volunteers to read excerpts of their work or to share their thoughts. In large classes, you may invite students to share with a partner. Ask that comments not be made after reading or listening to each other, but rather suggest that gratitude be expressed for the opportunity to connect.
"Thank you for the gift of your words."
To wrap up the experience, speak to the power of sharing our stories to build strong networks of social support. Mention your hope that students will continue to share deeply with each other.
"Our ability to speak to our experience connects us in meaningful ways. Knowing and caring for each other is what makes healing possible."
Our job is simple but profound. It is to be present with what students are experiencing with genuine openness, concern, and curiosity. To do this, we may take a moment to ground ourselves and set an intention to be relaxed and open in our demeanor. There is deep cultural conditioning to try to move away from distress, but it is the ability to stay with feelings without judgment or agenda that offers the strongest emotional support.
To do this work, it is vital to have had the space and time to honor and attend to your own needs. Have you had the time to have your own voice heard? Have you given yourself the rest, nourishment, and space for the internal reflection you need in order to be present for others?
Additional Ways to Support Students
The shared purpose of all the strategies below is to honor the students’ emotional experience, provide a holding space for connecting on a deep level, and invite hope for moving forward. Gestures of connection and care restore a sense of safety and allow for a renewed sense of community to emerge.
Offer nurturance. Often the first step in assisting people in crisis is to offer a blanket, some water, and food to eat. While this is not the response called for in our circumstance, the ability to offer gestures of support and care for one another is essential. You might bring tea or coffee to class, flowers to share with each student, or an invitation for a meal at your home. Once the basic need for nurturance is met, healing truly begins. If none of these concrete suggestions fit, consider taking a moment to directly express you care for the students.
"I want to take a moment to say to you directly that I care deeply about what you have experienced since Sunday evening. I have found myself imagining what your days have been like with a hope that you are finding the kindness, gentleness, and care we all need right now. I am hoping that you can feel this from me even though we don’t have adequate space and time to do all that is truly called for in this circumstance."
Practice deep listening. Invite students to form groups of three to five. Ask them to share with each other for three minutes each (without interruptions or discussion):
- what they felt when they first heard the news.
- how they are feeling now.
- what they anticipate feeling in the days ahead or what actions they hope to take in the future.
At the end, the listening partners simply thank each other for the honor of sharing their stories.
Name the feelings. Ask students to call out the feeling words and phrases that match their experience of the last few days.
“I want to honor each one of you and the experiences you have had in the last few days. To do that, I am going to ask you to share words or short phrases (popcorn style) that capture your feelings. Likely, you have had a wide range of emotional reactions, and I invite you to name them in all their complexity. I will be recording the words without comment on the white board. I ask that we speak and listen to the words with a spirit of reverence for our shared humanity, recognizing the broad range of histories and experiences that inform our reactions. Once the words and phrases are up, we will take a moment of silence to acknowledge our variety of experience.”
When the brainstorm is complete, validate the full range of human emotions that arise in times of tragedy. If the words and phrases shared do not capture a full range of emotion, you may mention to students some of the internal experiences that are expected in times of distress.
"I’d like to share with you some of the additional experiences you may notice in yourself and your friends. It is expected that you may have difficulty concentrating. You may experience waves of anger, sadness, fear, and anxiety. Some of you may notice a strong sense of compassion and tenderness and a desire to connect with others to honor the deceased or make your voice heard by lawmakers. At times, you may also notice a sense of disorientation and unease given the violent disruption of life on our campus. You may also notice painful associations from earlier in your life. Some of you may feel a need to 'move on' or a sense of unease with the feeling that violence has become expected and, in some ways, normalized."
To transition the conversation, take a moment to acknowledge their willingness to share.
"I want to thank you for your willingness to share the truth of your experience. I am now inviting all of us to take two minutes in silence to honor one another, the larger community, and those most impacted by the tragic loss on Sunday. If you would like to reflect in writing, drawing, or movement, please feel free to do that."
If it feels right, you may move towards brainstorming ways of coping that promote mental wellness.
"There is wisdom in this room. This is not the first hardship you have faced, although it may feel very different. Many of you have found ways of coping and even thriving through challenging times. I want to invite a period of sharing concrete mindsets and strategies that are in your toolboxes or that you feel the need to create now. I will record the ideas on the white board. You’ll be invited to take a picture of the white board for further reflection. Sometimes we need a chance to reflect on unhelpful approaches that we want to discontinue and space to consider new strategies. I hope this time will give you that opportunity."
Again, thank the students.
Affirm community. Ask students how they want to affirm community at UVA in the days ahead.
"At some point in our processing of the events of the last few days, we may start to wonder what we can actually do that will be meaningful and genuinely helpful. Without a doubt, cultivating a strong sense of community is powerfully important. We are social beings and healing happens together, never alone. I want to invite you to reflect on what you believe builds community in your own life and on campus. Please find two other classmates to spend five minutes discussing what builds connectedness in this time and beyond. For example, you might point to the importance of slowing down to greet people when walking or having longer, leisurely meals with friends to intentionally check in with each other. You may have larger ideas having to do, for example, with how spaces are configured or how information is communicated. Once we have had time to talk in small groups, we will reconvene for idea sharing."
Please note: You may broaden this discussion to suggest reflection on actions on a societal level. This will open discourse on our political climate, on race, and other critical issues that students may have a pressing need to discuss. If you go this direction, it is critical to set ground rules or review already established expectations for difficult conversations.
Seek connection. Ask students to interview each other about works of art and literature (books, paintings, poems, music, and films) that have helped them in hard times before.
"Artists, musicians, writers, and poets have always been guides and supports in deepening our understanding of what it means to be human, particularly in times of suffering. As a means of coming together as a class today, I would like to invite you to gather in groups of three to discuss the art and literature that has been most nourishing to you. Please reflect on what it may mean to you now. To set the stage, I would like to briefly share with you (a piece of music, a painting, a short reading) that has been meaningful to me. I hope it will be of support to you as well."
Encourage students to plan times outside of class to share these sources of meaning and inspiration with each other. Remind them of the power of nature on campus to offer solace.
"Thank you for taking the time to share with each other the power of your experiences with art and literature. I encourage you to continue having these discussions and invite you to seek out new sources of beauty, wisdom, and understanding. The natural world on our campus, like a piece of art, may serve as a source of solace and strength as well. I hope you will have time to linger in spaces you enjoy."
Thank you again for your thoughtful work preparing to meet with students. As is often the case, your presence and genuine concern will be what the students remember, rather than the actual words spoken. Please let us know if we can help in any way. Email us at cte-uva@virginia.edu to provide feedback on your experience implementing any of these strategies. We hope to learn from you.
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