וַיִּתְרֹֽצְצ֤וּ הַבָּנִים֙ בְּקִרְבָּ֔הּ
But the children struggled in her womb…
                            -Genesis 25:22

One theme that runs throughout the book of Genesis is sibling rivalry. The book begins with Cain murdering his brother Abel. The book ends when Joseph finds reconciliation with his brothers, who had sold him into slavery. Meanwhile, we have other stories reflecting this theme such as Isaac and Ishmael, and Leah and Rachel. But this portion focuses more than any other on the struggle between two brothers, the twin sons of Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Esau.
 
Even within the womb the twins struggled. And, although twins, they brothers are totally different. Esau is an outdoors-man and a hunter. Jacob is an indoors man, a dweller in the tent. One could sense that Esau is the more physical, man of the earth type, while Jacob is the more cerebral and spiritual. To make matters worse, their parents played favourites. Isaac favoured Esau while Rebekah favoured Jacob.
 
In the parashah, Jacob convinces Esau to sell his birthright for a bowl of lentil soup. Jacob then fools his father into giving him the blessing meant for Esau. By the end of the portion, Jacob flees the wrath of his brother. Perhaps Genesis is telling us that sibling rivalry is inevitable, built into the universe from creation. I have certainly seen this as a rabbi: weddings where a sibling, aunt, or uncle refused to show up; funerals where two children of the deceased met with me separately, sat on opposite sides of the chapel, and refused to observe shiva together; B’nei Mitzvah with two separate parties afterwards. I hate to say it, but this happens, sadly, way too often.
 
We do find more positive inspiration for family relationships in the later books of the Bible and in the Rabbinic literature. For example, in the Book of Proverbs we read, A friend is devoted for all times, but a brother is born for trouble (Proverbs 17:17). At first glance this verse seems to say that friends are wonderful, but siblings are trouble. But the great medieval French commentator Gershonides (1288 – 1344) teaches this verse differently. Gershonides wrote that we can always enjoy time with our friends. They are present to get together or go out. But when we face trouble, it is our siblings who are there for us. “When trouble arises, his brother rises to help him, his nature causes him to help for he is his flesh and bone.” To paraphrase, siblings help siblings in times of trouble because that is, or should be, their nature.
 
Perhaps we need to teach this text as an antidote when we study the story of Jacob & Esau. Siblings are supposed to be there for siblings. Genesis does end with a form of resolution to the sibling rivalries portrayed throughout the book, as Joseph and his brothers are reunited, forgive and hug. This great reconciliation is reflected in the Book of Psalms when it famously says, Hinei ma tov u’ma naim, shevet achim gam yachad - “How good and how pleasant it is for brothers (and sisters) to dwell together” (Psalms 133:1).

L'Shalom,

Rabbi Jordan Cohen