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TMI + FoMO

Hi Friend,

I love a good acronym.

TMI (Too Much Information) is usually used in reference to toilet humour or amorous endeavours shared indiscreetly.

FoMO (Fear of Missing Out) is what all the young kids are talking about and is usually in reference to missing out on parties and general adventures.

But, TMI and FoMO also relate to hoarding. Especially acquisition.

FoMO

We acquire stuff just in case because we fear uncertainty. We keep stuff because WE MIGHT NEED IT ONE DAY in an uncertain future.

We have a deep fear of missing out on opportunities that might lead us to that silver bullet and solve all our problems. This is why we can’t unsubscribe from all those hundreds of emails landing in our inboxes every day ( I’m not talking about this one - this might be the only one that’s not selling you stuff you don’t need ). This is why we can’t help picking up the sales flyers at the supermarket.

WHAT IF we don’t see the sale? WHAT IF we miss the latest book on “curing” hoarding disorder? WHAT IF?

We need to take that question to it’s logical conclusion:

What if we did miss buying the book and in that book there was a a gem of information that could change everything?

• Then we wouldn’t know that gem of information

• We would continue to stay as we are - minus the book

• We might spend that money on counselling or help from an organiser

• We might save that money or use it to pay the bills

• We might stumble across that information in a weekly newsletter we get for FREE

The learning here is that our FoMO takes us further away from what we want. Giving in to FoMO instead of doing the work every single day to reduce our clutter and improve the safety of our homes keeps us stuck.

TMI

What is not often discussed is the tendency for those who hoard to also excessively acquire and save INFORMATION. Not a real surprise when you think about it.

Many clients tell me that they also excessively acquire information. This may involve buying books and magazines, signing up to Choice Magazine, and scouring the internet so they feel they have EVERYTHING they need to make a decision. Habitually keeping hundreds of tabs open on search engines of every mention of the product or service they’re trying to decide on. Sound familiar?

They reason that when they’re looking for assistance making decisions in their lives they believe they must gather ALL the information about a topic. Some express exasperation regarding their tendency to always feel like they don’t know enough in order to make even the simplest decisions.

TMI acquisition makes me feel sooooo sleepy…

Others believe that knowing everything about a subject before making a decision is rational and necessary in order to avoid making mistakes. However, we’ve talked before about the link between perfectionism and hoarding and the negative consequences.

Excessive concern over making mistakes and a fear of negative evaluation from others may plague people with hoarding symptoms and often leads to procrastination and lack of progress in decluttering and leads to acquiring TMI.

So, why is striving to make the “best” decisions through excessive information gathering a problem? Well it leads to information overload.

Information overload compromises working memory and crowds out useful information and slows down other executive functions. Working memory capacity obstructs other executive functions like adaptable thinking, planning, organising, time-management, self-control, and self-management. Is that an Aha moment? It was for me!

This means that excessive acquisition of information is contributing to other hoarding behaviours and the outcome: clutter. We just can’t make sense of all the bits of information we’ve gathered.

Many of us delay purchasing decisions, continue to gather information, and make copious notes (often on the back of envelopes or saved in disorganised digital form) until the end of time.

Others throw their hands in the air and buy all.the.things. Buying all the things means we don’t have to decide between the Disney Princesses, Harry Potter, or StarWars PJs. We get them ALL.

We need to teach ourselves how to make decisions and avoid information overload…

As Dr Phil would say (has he been cancelled yet?) “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge” and being aware of this habit to avoid choosing between options at the point of purchase is a good start.

If you’re like many people who have hoarding tendencies, chances are you haven’t had much practice or experience making decisions. You often come home with a T-Shirt in all the colours of the rainbow even though you look ill in yellow.

You probably find it hard to comprehend how other people can make multiple spontaneous decisions about purchases without feeling exhausted or distressed.

The way they do this is by trusting their “intuitive judgements” to make “good enough” decisions in complex real world situations where time, information, and cognitive resources are limited.

The research confirms that taking the decision making process slowly and deliberately often does not improve decision quality over faster more intuitive methods. Read that again. Slow deliberate decision making doesn’t necessarily improve the quality of decisions.

Learning how to develop intuitive decision making comes through practice. It means putting feedback into practice, and focusing on what evidence is available and knowing what is not known, in the moment.

What about FoMO + TMI?

Research* published recently indicates that this compulsion to over-accumulate information before making decisions is evident in clinically diagnosed hoarding cases in all areas, not only those related to possessions. This made me think that perhaps TMI acquiring might not only related to decision making…

People who hoard might just fear missing out on knowledge even when they don’t need it to make decisions. I’m just spit-balling there isn’t any empirical evidence regarding hoarding and FoMO on information that I know about.

I’m not young so I remember sitting in the library until 12 midnight to save on photocopying because journals were real and lived in the stacks. Now my library is available 24/7 at home in Melbourne Australia and virtually nothing is unattainable.

The volume of information and data that is available to us in our hands via SmartPhones in 2022 is overwhelming. When we’ve been used to saving books, newspaper clippings, and magazine tear sheets to maintain our level of knowledge it’s hard to change. I get it.

We used to need recipe books and encyclopaedias. Now we just need a good search strategy and high-speed internet. It’s difficult to adjust to the new normal. Our brains just can’t keep all that available information straight. Passwords prove that!

Many people who hoard feel compelled to keep up with the huge volume of “new” and “best” information out there whether it’s a new cake recipe or the optimal method for composting.

But that’s impossible now.

What we need is a new way of thinking about and accessing information.

Times have changed. Knowing facts is no longer the goal. There’s google for that.

As @little.glass.shelf puts it:

The problem with FOMO is that while you’re busy trying not to miss out on the next best and the latest and the must haves, you’re actually missing out on something else — life.”

So what are you going to do with all the free time I’ve just opened up? And the space you’ll have when you let go of the 10 year old magazines and newspapers cluttering up the hallway?

Be bold.

You’re not missing out on THE piece of information that might change your life you’re missing out on… LIFE.

Until next week :)

Jan <3

*Pushkarskaya, H., Stern, E., Tolin, D. F., & Pittenger, C. (2020). Excessive acquisition of information during simple judgments in individuals with hoarding disorder. Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders, 24(April 2019), 100505. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jocrd.2020.100505

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