What's in a name?
Traditionally, when a couple makes the decision to join together in matrimony, there are several changes that occur. You have now crossed the fiancé bridge to marriage, you begin to change how you select health insurance at work, you think twice about splurging and the mind goes into family planning mode. One of the changes that is less thought about until right before or directly after the ceremony is the change of last name. There have been many debates throughout time about whether or not women should take on a new last name, keep their current last name or compromise and hyphenate. And while this can become a heated debate for some, there are others who simply couldn’t care less. Just for fun, here are 5 reasons to, or not to change your name after marriage.
|
|
|
Following Tradition
Marriage licenses don’t come with a step-by-step manual of dos and don’ts, and for the most part, we get married and mimic what we have always seen and heard. For centuries, the change of surnames has been a part of the marital commitment process and thus many women still practice the art of taking the husband's’ last name. Let’s take a it bit further and add that centuries ago, last name changes were more based on status and reputation than joining two people. That “status” model of thought eventually grew into something that just seemed like the right thing to do. So it was, and so it will be that a woman who marries would take on their spouse’s last name.
|
|
|
(Re)connect with your partner through touch!
|
|
|
Strictly Business
Being a woman in business can be difficult in many ways, so a well-established businesswoman may see tradition as just being “in the way”! Having a business prior to marriage is more than likely tied to finances, reputation, and other organization structures. One may find it too much of a headache to change their name because of the multitude of business structure changes that may need to happen. But outside of that, a woman may not want to appear “inferior” by leaving her name behind and taking on her husbands’. Depending on how you have decided to structure your business (non-profit, S-Corp, etc.) altering a name could cause penalties or even growth delays. So, a woman in business may choose to not take a new surname after marriage.
|
|
|
(Re)connect with your partner through play!
|
|
|
Erase The Past
If you’ve grown up under a family name that you feel has done little to nothing to enhance your well-being, it can become easy to disassociate. Unlike males, females are able to abandon their surname if it is tainted or has caused more harm than good in their upbringing. There are many occasions when changing your name helps you to reidentify who you are as a person. Now I am not saying that simply changing your name will heal you. What I am saying is that it can be a step in your healing process. Meeting, and marrying someone who provides an environment of care, support, love, and respect that you were not privy to as a child would make you want to forget your past. So, in an effort to erase past hurt and/or trauma, a woman may choose to change their last name.
|
|
|
Show Commitment
Adding titles to any relationship can be seen and an advancement or growth of said relationship. For example, you go from friends to girl/boyfriends, next you go to fiancé, then husband/wife. Once you’ve reached the height of relationship commitment (by way of titles), what’s left? By the wife taking on the husband’s name, she is adding another layer to the marriage to show commitment. So, to show how much you are committed to the marriage, a woman may choose to change her last name.
|
|
|
(Re)connect with your partner through talk!
|
|
|
Break Tradition
The previous four explanations only spoke to the tradition of a wife taking the last name of their husband, but what about the husband taking the last name of his wife? In an effort to break a tradition that seemed to have been formed based on status and business models from centuries ago, males may choose to take on the name of their wives. Just the same of a woman being raised under a family name that has caused nothing but pain, this could be true for a man as well. Based on tradition, the man would just have to deal with carrying on a name that he may not be proud of and is supposed to make his new bride endure the same. So, because it was, is not how it has to be; a husband may choose to take on his wife’s name after marriage.
|
|
|
I would love to hear from you!
Why did you choose to, or not to, change your name after marriage?.
|
|
|
|
|
